Morning Light
by ExtraordinarilyHuman
Summary: New Moon AU. Jacob is only steps behind Bella when she goes over the cliff. As a result, there's no interruption when she decides to stake a claim on him in the only way she knows how. Will Jacob's love pull her up out of the darkness for good? This is how my Team Jacob heart wanted the story to end. True to the canon characterizations, with lots of Jake/Bella fluffy goodness.
1. Chapter 1

**Hello, there! Thank you for taking the time to check out my new story. This is my first Twilight, but I've been writing fanfic for a while, formerly under the name R. Grace. I lost access to that account, so I started this new one for my newer stuff.**

 **Does anyone care about Twilight anymore? I first read the books in my late teens. Back then, I was decidedly Team Edward. For some random reason, I decided to reread the books recently. Now, as a 30-year-old with some real life relationship experience under my belt, I am now Team Jacob, all the way! In fact, it bugged me so much that Bella made what, in my mind, was clearly the wrong choice, that I talked about it in my sleep one night, and my boyfriend refuses to let me live it down. (True story.)**

 **This is the result of my obsessing. It's the New Moon, Eclipse, and Breaking Dawn I really wanted to read. This scenario has been done to death by other amazing authors, but I couldn't get this particular story out of my head. Plus, no matter how many Bella/Jake stories I read, I can never seem to get enough, so why not throw my version on the pile?**

 **I pick up in New Moon during the (you guessed it) cliff diving scene. Jacob is hot on Bella's heels as she jumps, changing the path of the story in a way that gives Jacob and Bella the real chance at happiness and a full, human life together that they both deserved. I'll try to update once a week, so please review and follow! Hope you enjoy!**

 **Chapter 1: Diving In**

The first surges of adrenaline began to pulse through my limbs as I lined the toes of my

sneakers up with the cliff's jagged edge.

 _"_ _Don't,"_ the angel's voice in my head pleaded, _his_ voice. _"Don't do this."_

I closed my eyes and inhaled, letting the delicious velvet tones wash over me. The wind

swirled around me, pushing gently against my back, whipping my hair around my face. I leaned

into it.

 _"_ _Bella, stop! Please."_

The voice in my head was begging now, but I had already surrendered to the anticipation curling inside my belly. There was no turning back now.

One…

I started counting in my head. The lovely voice growled.

Two…

I lifted one foot. The voice snarled my name.

Three…

I was flying. Moist sea air rushed past my ears, mixing with the dulcet tones of _his_ voice, now inarticulate with anger and panic. And then…

"Bella! No, Bella!"

Another voice, further away but still loved. Still beautiful.

 _"_ _Bella!"_ both voices shouted at once, and my eyes popped open just as the water's surface hit me like ton of bricks.

The water was cold and so, so dark. I was pulled, tossed, and flipped around like rag doll in the churning waves until I didn't know which way was up anymore.

While the larger, instinctual part of me fought vainly to reach the surface, a smaller part of my mind searched for _his_ voice. I was, at this moment, in more mortal danger than I had ever been on my most clumsy day riding bikes, yet he was strangely silent.

It was the other voice, the more distant one, that had distracted me. Kept me from finding _his_ voice.

The current heaved against me, and my back collided with something hard and unyielding. A rock, my adrenaline-soaked brain managed to conclude, as the breath rushed out of me in a flurry of dancing bubbles.

Then I was caught in the strongest current yet. It was pulling me down, down towards the ocean floor. Salty water rushed into my mouth, filling my nose and searing its way down my throat.

I couldn't possibly have felt more disoriented than I did when my head broke the surface. I could have sworn I was headed further down.

"Bella!" the other voice rasped, no longer distant. I could feel the speaker's warm breath on my ear. "Breathe, honey!"

Something hard slammed into my back again - another rock? - and suddenly I was coughing uncontrollably, the unforgiving sea water burning my throat anew on its way back up.

"That's it, Bella. Breathe."

Something warm and smooth brushed against the side of my neck, and another gust of warm breath sent little shivers dancing down my spine.

"Jesus, honey, you scared the sh…You scared me."

As the fog started to clear from my mind, it managed to put a name to the second voice. It was Jacob.

Jacob had snatched me from the grips of the unfightable current and was now holding my head above the churning waves with one strong, burning arm around my waist. It seamed a fitting analogy for the past few months.

A large hand wrapped around my arm, turning me to face him. His dark eyes were wide with alarm.

"Are you all right?" Each word was punctuated by a firm shake.

"Ye…" I croaked, my raw throat refusing to obey. I nodded.

Relief transformed Jacob's features, and he pulled me into a crushing embrace.

"Don't you ever scare me like that, Bells. Why didn't you wait for me? I was right behind you."

"Sorry," I forced my protesting vocal cords to squeak out. The word was barely audible, but I knew he could hear it just fine, even above the crashing waves.

I felt, more than heard, his answering sigh. He released me slightly, pulling back just enough to rest his forehead against mine. While one hand tightened around my waist, the other broke the water's surface to tangle gently in the sodden hair at the nape of my neck.

Intellectually, I knew the water was freezing, but I felt as comfortable as if I'd been soaking in a warm bath in Jacob's arms. He filled my senses, and for an unnamable stretch of time, he was all I could focus on.

All around me was _heat,_ suffusing my skin everywhere it touched his. Heat against my forehead, neck, my waist. Under my palms where, I realized, they'd come to rest without my conscious direction on his solid shoulders.

"All right," he finally breathed after…had it been minutes? Hours? "Let's get you dry."

I nodded, still trying to shake off the last of the fog.

He held me gently with one arm as the other one towed us, more swiftly than I would have thought possible, towards the shore.

My knees bucked slightly when we reached sand, and I was wordlessly swept up and cradled against his solid chest. He walked with his head down, trying to shield my face from the tiny pinpricks of rain that had started to fall.

When we reached Billy's house, he set me down on the small couch. I had a moment of concern for the ancient upholstery but was too drained from my near drowning to protest.

Jacob grabbed the shabby afghan from the back of the sofa and wrapped it around me before striding swiftly into the kitchen, returning with inhuman speed with a glass of water.

"Drink," he commanded gently, placing the glass in my hand, which I hadn't realized until this moment was shaking.

I brought the cool water to my lips. It burned my throat, but felt good at the same time. I gulped down the entire glass in one long pull.

"More?" Jacob asked with small, encouraging smile, and I nodded appreciatively.

He returned with the second glass just as quickly, and I sat sipping quietly as he pulled us both back against the sofa, his burning arm finding its way around my shoulders again.

While I sipped, my mind wandered back over the events of the past hour. Mainly to how Jacob's voice had drowned out…Edward's - I forced myself to think the name - in my head.

The hole in my chest started to ache around the edges, and I reflexively wrapped my free arm around my middle.

Jacob didn't miss a thing. His warm hand moved immediately to cover mine, holding me together better than I could ever do on my own.

And then there was the other thing. The reason Jacob hadn't been waiting for me when I'd gotten here earlier. Victoria. I shuddered involuntarily.

"You okay?" he asked.

I shook myself out of my reverie. I started to nod but decided it was time to test my vocal cords instead.

"Ye…es," I croaked. My voice sounded like I'd just smoked a whole carton of cigarettes. "I just…did you find _her_?"

"No," he answered with a sigh. "She managed to reach the water, and we don't follow them there."

"Why not?" I asked, curious.

"The leeches have the advantage in the water," he answered, "because they don't need to breathe."

"Oh." A chill ran through me as I pictured the russet wolf - _my_ wolf - being tossed in the unforgiving current I'd just been battered by, choking on salt water as marble-white hands pulled him down.

"When my dad told me you were headed for the beach, I nearly lost it, Bells," he continued, his voice breaking slightly on my name.

"I'm sorry," I breathed, my eyes dropping to our overlapping hands at my waist.

Jacob sighed before continuing. "Please, don't ever scare me like that again, Bella Swan. Just wait for me next time you want to do something crazy, okay?"

"Okay," I nodded, meeting his dark eyes again, their expression warm and pleading.

As I continued to hold his gaze, something else flickered across his expression. Sadness?

"There's something else," I said with certainty. Jacob's face had become easier for me to read than one of my beloved classic novels that I'd read so many times my mind anticipated the next words before my eyes reached them.

"When we got back to Emily's, she told us that Harry Clearwater had just been taken to the hospital. A heart attack. It doesn't look good."

I gasped. "Oh, no. Poor Sue. And Leah. And _Seth_."

"I know." It was Jacob's turn to look away then. His warm fingers traced fiery circles on the back of my hand. "Our dads are both at the hospital now."

We sat in silence for several minutes while I internally berated myself for being so stupidly reckless. What if Jacob hadn't gotten to me in time? Charlie might have lost his daughter and his best friend in one day, and it would have been all my fault.

Stupid. Selfish.

"Do you think you can stand now?" Jacob asked, interrupting my self-loathing.

"I think so."

"I'll drive you back to your place, then."

An inarticulate noise of protest rose in my throat, and I leaned almost convulsively closer into his side. I couldn't be away from Jacob. I knew I was being selfish, again, but he was the only thing holding me together right now.

Jacob couldn't help the satisfied grin that appeared at my obvious reluctance to leave his side.

"Don't worry," he soothed. "I won't leave. I'll just wait downstairs while you shower and change. Then, we can watch a movie or something."

"Okay," I rasped, and allowed him to remove the almost empty glass of water from my hand. He pulled me to my feet, pausing to make sure I was steady before taking my hand and leading me back out to the truck.

We drove the twenty or so minutes to Forks in silence, his ever-present arm around my shoulders still warding off the chill I knew would come as soon as he let me go.

My inner chastisement started up again almost as soon as the truck roared to life.

I could only imagine what a wreck Charlie must be right now. There was a good chance, though I wished fervently otherwise, that my father would lose his dear friend today.

I couldn't, in good conscience, keep putting myself in danger on purpose. Though I needed to hear Edward's voice like I needed to draw my next breath, I couldn't do that to Charlie.

My thoughts flitted back to the moment when my feet first left the cliff's edge, to the way Edward's voice had faded into Jacob's as he called my name. I remembered the endless moment when Jacob held me in the water, his warmth and his presence driving everything from my head that wasn't him, numbing the pain to an almost bearable ache.

The hint of a smile ghosted across my face as I realized I'd never hit a rock at all. It was Jacob. He was my rock, literally and metaphorically. Maybe, just maybe…I could make it through, could give up hearing _his_ voice, if I had my rock to cling to.

And while I was recognizing my own selfish nature, I had to acknowledge that none of this was fair to Jacob. Because he wasn't my brother, as I had so often wished. He was my best friend, but I knew he wanted more. He hadn't made much of a secret about it. I knew, if I asked, he would give me whatever I wanted, give until I'd sucked him dry. An emotional version of the monster I'd once hoped to become. I couldn't do that to him.

Jacob was too important, too precious to me. His pain was my pain, so hurting him like that wasn't an option. But was there any way for me _not_ to hurt him? Even if I tried - and right now, it seemed like a pretty big "if" - _if_ I tried to give him more than just friendship, I could never give him enough. I was just so broken.

The idea had taken root though, and try as I might to brush it aside, it continued to prod me, refusing to be silenced.

I was broken, but could I give Jacob the pieces? Did I have enough life left in me to make him even a little happy?

As an experiment, I turned my head where it rested on his shoulder, nuzzling ever-so-slightly against the side of his neck.

Jacob sucked in a surprised breath and pulled me closer into his side, turning his head to press a lingering kiss on my hair. I felt his lips curve up in a smile just before he turned his attention back to the road, and that "if" at the forefront of my mind got a little bit smaller.

Being close to him like this, sharing little touches and caresses, holding his hand…All of that felt natural, easy. Right. Not only right, but vital to my very existence. Just like Jacob was.

If only I had some claim on him, some legitimate reason for asking him to stay with me.

Before I could go any further down the rabbit hole of my thoughts, we were rolling to a stop in front of my house. Jacob cut the engine, suddenly plunging us into silence.

His slightly strangled groan broke through the quiet, and his other arm came around me, crushing me to him. He turned his face to nuzzle against my hair, kissing that same spot again.

"Bella," he began, his voice thick with feeling, "I…I know that you know how I feel about you, and I know you can't feel the same right now."

He was quiet for a moment, his hands gripping me, holding me almost desperately, as if he was scared I might run.

"But, for a few minutes today, I thought I might lose you," he continued. "And then Harry… I just…I think life's too short to let things like that come between us."

I sighed against his warm shoulder as my heart fluttered in my chest at his words. How could he have been so perfectly in tune with what I'd just been thinking?

My face was pressed against his warm neck, so close that I could feel the steady beat of his pulse under my cheek.

It would be so easy, so simple, to press my lips against the throb of his pulse and feel it quicken. That's all I would have to do, except maybe slide the hand that was now squished against his side around to caress the firm planes of his chest. Jacob would do the rest.

Surely, Edward didn't expect me to pine for him forever. I _would_ , of course, but he clearly didn't want my love, my affection. Would it really be so wrong to give what was left of it to my best friend?

I licked my lips, picturing what would follow if I pressed that one significant kiss just _there_ , and my pulse quickened, a delicious rush of anticipation coiling deep in my belly.

As if to confirm my thoughts, the voice in my head, _his_ voice, whispered, "Be happy."

I closed my eyes briefly as I savored his words, quite possibly for the last time.

Then, I took a deep breath and turned my head.


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you so much to everyone who followed and/or reviewed the first chapter! I'm so excited to take you all on this journey with me.**

 **Last time was a lot of set-up, but from now on, we'll be departing from canon for the rest of the story, starting with what we all wish would have happened after the cliff diving scene if Alice hadn't been there to interrupt. Enjoy!**

 **Chapter 2: Officially**

I struggled against consciousness as it pushed around the edges of my dreamless slumber. Peaceful rest came too seldom, these days.

The living room at my house was dark, save for the faint glow coming from the TV. It had still been light outside when Jacob and I settled ourselves on the couch to watch a movie that neither of us had seen more than the first few minutes of.

I lay very still as I took in the ever-present warmth from his body, the sound of his soft snores, and the weight of his arm draped over my waist.

My thoughts wandered back to earlier in the day, when Jake had driven me home after my ill-conceived cliff diving adventure.

It had been almost easier than I had expected to press my lips gently to the warmth of his skin. I had marveled at the smooth texture, so soft and yielding, like heated silk.

He'd been more hesitant than I expected, like he was afraid if he moved too fast I might change my mind and pull away. I understood why he would feel that way, but my mind was made up. Having some sort of claim on him was the only way to guarantee he'd stay with me, and this was the only real claim I could stake.

One of his big, rough hands slowly rose to cup my cheek, tilting my face up to his. I mirrored the movement, pressing my palm against his angular jaw. It was rough like sandpaper, and I couldn't help but notice how completely different everything about him was to what I had experienced before. Strangely, the thought didn't hurt.

"Bella…" he breathed, savoring the taste of my name on his tongue. His warm breath caressed my face, and I inhaled, taking him in. He smelled like pine needs and the salty ocean breeze. He smelled like home.

My eyes zeroed in on his lips. I'd never studied them this closely before, but now, tucked up against his side, I was suddenly struck by their beauty. They were slightly plump with a deep cupid's bow, the color a little pinker than the rest of his skin. I felt my tongue dart out to wet my lips, and Jacob's parted, then disappeared from view as they lowered to find mine.

Heat. That was all I could feel and all that existed in that moment when our lips first touched. His were so warm they almost burned. It felt strange at first, the feel of his lips yielding, moulding themselves with mine. But then fire shot through my veins, and I stopped thinking, immersing myself in the beautiful sensations his mouth and hands were causing.

My hands grasped, pulled, finding firm, yet yielding muscle and sweat-slick skin. His hands tightened almost convulsively around my waist, and suddenly the angle of our kiss changed. My face was level with his now. I found that if I raised myself up slightly on my knees, I could hover above him, my mouth slanting down over his. That was nice.

I tangled my fingers in the short hair at the nape of his neck, expecting him to pull away at any moment, to put a stop to this. But he didn't stop me, and I didn't have to hold back with him or him with me. I would probably have bruises on my thighs were his fingers squeezed just a little too tight, but I didn't care. For the first time in months, I felt like myself. I felt whole.

My pesky need for oxygen finally intruded, and I pulled back hesitantly, afraid that the spell his kisses had cast would shatter, and I would be broken again. But Jacob always seemed to know exactly what I needed. I shouldn't have worried.

His strong arms snaked around my waist, keeping the hole from opening up. A sigh escaped as he nuzzled the side of my neck, leaving a trail of hot, open-mouthed kisses that made my toes curl.

"Oh, Bells, I've wanted you like this for so long."

I felt his lips curve up in a smile against my neck before he lifted his head and locked his eyes with mine.

His face was glowing, happy. I felt a twinge of guilt that the reason for his happiness might be misguided. Yes, I wanted a claim on him, and, yes, we both now knew that I enjoyed being with him in this way. But he didn't know the whole truth.

"Jake," I began, my heart plummeting as that brilliant smile faltered at my tone, "we need to talk. I…I can't pretend that my feelings for you are completely caught up with yours for me."

I watched the flickering emotions that danced across his face as he processed this revelation: hurt, resignation, apprehension, and, finally, happiness again.

"But you liked kissing me."

It wasn't a question, but I nodded anyway, my cheeks coloring a little.

"And you enjoy being close to me like this."

His hands pulled me closer to demonstrate his point, and he shifted a little under me where I still straddled his lap. A jolt of heat shot through me again, and, this time, my face was red as a firetruck.

His self-satisfied chuckle stirred the baby hairs around my temples, making them tickle the overheated skin there.

"All I'm asking for is a chance, Bells," he said, his voice a sultry whisper. "I know I can make you happy, if you give me, _us,_ a real honest-to-goodness chance. Just let me try."

"Okay."

His eyebrows shot up at my automatic response. I could tell he'd expected a fight, or, at the very least, some hesitation, but I was done fighting him.

"I'm still so broken, though, Jake," I qualified. "I can't promise I'll ever be completely whole again. You deserve so much better."

He opened his mouth to protest, and I clamped my fingers over it. I had to get all this out before I lost my nerve.

"I'm selfish, though, and I need to know that you'll stay with me, that you won't find some other girl and leave me behind."

"You're the only girl for me, Bells."

His hands rubbed soothing circles on my back. Guilt crashed down over me, and I ducked my head to press a lingering kiss to the side of his neck, avoiding his eyes. He did deserve better. He deserved someone who could honestly say he was the only guy for her. And I couldn't.

"So," he spoke again, the deep timbre of his voice vibrating against my cheek, "does this mean you're my girlfriend now, officially?"

I couldn't help but smile at his eagerness. What had I ever done to deserve someone who wanted me so much when I had so little to offer him in return? I peppered little kisses up the side of his neck and all over his smiling face, renewing my resolve to give him everything I possibly still could, no matter how inadequate.

"Yes, it does," I answered him between kisses. His smile widened.

"YES!" he hissed through clenched teeth, pumping one fist in the air like his favorite team had just scored the winning goal. I couldn't help but laugh. He looked so boyish, so silly.

Before I could fully comprehend what was happening, Jacob was pushing the truck door open and sliding us out. I was crushed to his chest in one of those too-tight hugs, and we were spinning. His happy laughter filled my ears. I felt an answering laugh bubble up and slip past my lips. His joy was so infectious.

A few minutes later, alone under the warm spray of the shower, I realized my cheeks hurt from smiling. The sensation was so unfamiliar now, so unexpected.

The familiar guilt started to creep up, like bile making its way up my throat, but I squashed it down. Not today. I knew I'd have to confront my inner demons soon, but not now. Later, when I was alone in my dark bedroom where Jake couldn't see, I would let those feelings have their moment.

I'd have to open up to Jacob about the full extent of my brokenness (and potential psychosis) soon. He deserved to know the whole truth of who he was accepting. For today, though, I just wanted to let him, to let _us_ , be happy.

Freshly bathed and in clean, dry clothes, I made my way back down the stairs to find him waiting for me on the couch. He jumped up as soon as he saw me, meeting me at the bottom of the stairs with another one of his crushing hugs.

"I missed you, honey," he breathed against my hair.

"Too. Tight," I managed to squeak out, and he set me down with a chuckle.

His hands lingered on my hips, and my breath hitched in my throat as his dark eyes bored down into mine.

"Breathe, Bells," he admonished gently, that self-satisfied grin making another appearance.

I felt a scarlet flush make its way up my neck all the way to my hairline. Apparently, vampires weren't the only ones with the ability to dazzle.

Before that thought could tear me apart, his lips had captured mine again, and I was enthusiastically kissing him back.

I squealed against his mouth as his arms wound around me, snaking under my bottom. Careful not to touch me with his hands, he lifted me against him, his lips never leaving mine as he carried me to the living room and plunked me down on the couch.

I bounced a couple times and giggled. God, it felt so good to let myself be happy, even if it was only temporary. I would suffer all the more for it later tonight, I was sure, but I couldn't seem to make myself care. Not now. Not when Jacob's big, warm body was sliding in behind me, his arms coiling themselves around me, as we snuggled together on the couch.

"I put a movie in," he announced as he reached for the remote and pressed the play button.

The opening credits of one of our old favorites started, but I couldn't care less which movie he'd picked. I was reveling in the feeling of my head being pillowed on his bicep and the entire back side of my body pressed against the front of his. It felt indescribably comforting to be held like this. So safe.

It didn't take me long to drift off into a deep, restful sleep, and I guess Jacob did too. He was still snoring steadily against my hair when an unwelcome sound jolted me out of my thoughts.

The lights flicked on, and I blinked, blinded and disoriented.

"Dad?" I croaked, as Charlie strode into the room, his eyes taking in our position on the couch with a look somewhere between confusion and hope.

I tried to move, to sit up, but I couldn't. Jake's arm was still draped over my waist, and his very heavy leg had been slung over my own in his sleep, pinning me to the couch.

Noticing my struggle, Charlie shook Jacob's shoulder gently.

"Okay, son, let's get up. No need for me to pull you off her and fling you across the room, now is there?"

Well, he could try, anyway.

Charlie's voice was firm, but there was no trace of anger in it. I could almost feel the questions building behind his eyes as he glanced at me, lifting Jacob's arm from around my waist.

At this, Jacob finally stirred. The snoring cut off with a sharp inhale, and I felt him lift his head from the pillow behind me.

"Hey, Chief Swan," he mumbled sleepily before returning his arm to its original position around my waist, clearly unbothered by being discovered in a semi-compromising position by my father.

"You sleep well, honey?" His soft whisper brushed across the skin of my ear right before his lips did. Gooseflesh spread over my entire body.

"Mmm-hmm," I nodded, becoming more embarrassed by the minute as Charlie continued to stare down at us. His expression had become less hopeful and more suspicious after witnessing the new intimacy between us, and I was afraid, if we didn't move now, he might try to make good on his threat.

Suddenly, I felt Jacob jolt half upright behind me, remembering where Charlie was returning home from.

"Is Harry…?"

Charlie deflated in front of our eyes, and we knew the answer. The temporary distraction finding us in this novel position had provided was gone. My father suddenly looked ten years older.

"He's gone," Charlie answered, unnecessarily.

"Crap," I heard, as well as felt, Jacob breathe against the back of my hair, finally releasing me fully from his death-grip.

I rose shakily and went to Charlie. I stumbled a little over my own feet, but my dad's arms caught me, hugging me tight.

"I'm so sorry, Dad," I mouthed against the rough fabric of his uniform, and I felt him shudder slightly.

"It's all right, kiddo," he sighed, rubbing my back a couple times before releasing me.

Jacob was on his feet now, his brows pulled together with concern. Gone was the happy, tender boy who had spun me around on the front lawn and held me while I slept. In his place was the man who held the responsibility of tribe protector on his shoulders. Sam's Jacob again.

"How's Sue?" he asked, his voice firm and filled with an authority no one so young should have to carry.

"Probably sleeping now," Charlie answered. "Emily is staying with her. I helped her get all the arrangements taken care of."

Jacob nodded.

"And my dad?"

"He's back home," Charlie answered.

Jacob nodded again. "I should get back."

His voice was all business, but I saw a flash of regret in his eyes as he glanced in my direction. I would miss him too, terribly so.

"I'll drive you back," I volunteered, not ready to be separated from him just yet.

"It's dark, and it's practically a hurricane out there," Charlie countered. "Why don't you stay here, Jake? You obviously have no problem sleeping on the couch. It'll be even better if you're alone," he added with a pointed look that Jacob ignored.

"I appreciate it, Charlie, but I need to check on my dad. He shouldn't be alone on a night like this."

Charlie nodded, but his scowl stayed in place. The wind had picked up quite a bit. It whistled angrily through the eaves, blowing the rain sideways against the windows.

"Bella doesn't need to be out in this though," Jacob continued, turning to me. "Babe, if you don't mind, I'll just borrow your truck for tonight. I can bring it back tomorrow morning."

Charlie's eyebrows shot up to his hair line.

"Is there…" He raised his hand and gestured back and forth between the two of us. "Is something going on between you two?"

I blushed so hard my ears burned. Jacob just laughed, completely calm and collected in the face of my Chief of Police father's scrutiny.

"Yes, Charlie. Bella and I are dating," he answered, infuriatingly self-satisfied, as always.

"Well," Charlie said, seemingly at a loss for words. "Uh…good. That's good."

There was an awkward few seconds of silence before Jacob regretfully reminded us that he needed to go check on his dad.

"I'll walk you out," I said, eager to end the awkward moment.

"No, I'll walk Jacob out," Charlie insisted. "You two can say goodnight right here."

I shot Charlie an exasperated glance, my heart plummeting as I realized Jacob, the person who had been holding my head above water, was about to leave.

"Night, Bells." He grabbed me up in one of his suffocating hugs, lifting me at least a foot off the floor. Normally, I would have protested about my need for oxygen, but, instead, I tried desperately to ignore Charlie's eyes burning into the back of my head and absorbed as much as I could of the feeling of wholeness I felt with Jacob. I'd need to be able to remember how this felt when I had to hold myself together later.

"Okay, okay," Charlie sighed, and Jacob set me back down again, his burning fingertips trailing against the skin of my arms as he reluctantly pulled back.

"See you tomorrow," he assured me, throwing me one last smile as he followed Charlie out the front door, grabbing my keys from the hook as he went.

Charlie shut the door firmly behind them, and I rushed to press my ear against it. It was hard to make out what was being said through the constant hum of the driving rain, but I just managed to catch the bulk of the conversation.

"Look, kid, I'm happy for you. Really, I am," Charlie was saying. "You're a good kid, and Bella…Well, she needs some happiness in her life right now. I just don't want to see her hurt again. She clearly doesn't take these things not working out very well."

Jacob's voice was clear and strong, easier for me to hear through the pounding rain.

"You have nothing to worry about with me, Charlie. I could literally kill that asshole for what he did to her, and I would never, ever hurt her like that. I love her, and I promise you, I _will_ make her happy again."

My heart faltered in my chest, and a cold sweat broke out all over my body. If Charlie replied, I didn't hear it. I backed away from the door slowly, the guilt and shame I had been hoping to hold at bay until Charlie went to bed threatening to crash down around me.

Jacob loved me. He'd said the words with such conviction, there was no doubting his sincerity. I loved him too, but I knew it wasn't the same. It wasn't the kind of love he wanted and deserved, and I wasn't sure I would ever have that kind of love to give again.

Could I really do this to him? Could I steal his chance to have someone love him the way he loved me? The way I loved Edward?

The hole in my chest began to tear around the edges, finally ripping wide open as I heard my truck start and disappear down the road.

I managed to pull myself together enough to tell Charlie I was going to bed.

"And, Dad," I added, half way up the stairs.

"Yeah, kiddo?"

"I'm so sorry about Harry."

Charlie only sighed and nodded in response.

"Sleep tight, Bells."

No chance of that, I thought with a sad smile as I continued up the stairs, hoping Charlie would chalk up my depressed mood to sadness about Harry.

As soon as the door to my bedroom closed behind me, the pain I had been struggling to hold at bay hit me like a tsunami. I collapsed against the door and slid down, tucking my knees up against my chest and wrapping my arms around them, squeezing tightly as I tried desperately not to fall apart.

It was going to be a long night.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3: Wavelength**

About half an hour after Jacob left, I finally peeled myself off the bedroom floor. The wind was now howling outside my window, and I wanted to call Jake to make sure he had made it home safe. More than that, I was already craving the comfort he provided, a junkie jonesing for another hit.

Some girlfriend I was. In love with another man, hearing voices, and well on my way to becoming one of those clingy, needy girls that send guys running for the hills.

As soon as that thought came, I wondered if that's part of what had driven Edward away. Had I asked too much of him, held on too tightly?

Icy fear shot through me as I wondered how long Jacob's patience would hold out. After all, Edward had been cultivating patience for over a hundred years, and it hadn't been enough. And my needs were so much greater now. I needed Jacob to hold me together, to literally keep me sane and functioning. It was a terrible catch-22: I needed him, but I was deathly afraid my needs would eventually drive him away if I didn't rein them in.

Instead of calling, I forced myself to get ready for bed after prying my own arms from around my torso. I took my time brushing my teeth and picking out a book to read, hoping I could distract my mind enough to eventually fall asleep.

The nightmare started, as they often did, in the woods. I turned around and around, searching for something in the dense greenery, though I didn't know what.

Finally, something caught my eye in the distance: a flash of red-brown fur. Jacob.

I called his name, running wildly in that direction, my heart racing as I fought through the tangle of moss and thick underbrush to get to him. Roots and vines seemed to reach out of their own accord, wrapping around my ankles, tripping me. I pushed frantically on, but the wolf didn't seem to know I was there.

After what felt like hours, I emerged into a small clearing. My eyes zeroed in on a motionless mound of fur lying in the middle of a small meadow, and my heart stopped. I ran to him, dropping to my knees on the damp forest floor.

"Jacob!" I cried, tears obscuring my vision. My hands delved into the thick fur, pulling back with a start as they encountered a sticky wetness. I stared, wide-eyed, at my own hands, coated in bright, coppery-smelling blood.

Before I could sink any further into grief, icy hands reached out and grasped my shoulders in their stony grip.

My own screams woke me. I was in my bed with the lamp still on. The Call of the Wild had landed face-down on the floor beside me.

A knock on the door made me bolt upright in bed.

"You all right, Bells?" Charlie's voice was thick with sleep and worry.

It was a moment before I was able to speak.

"I'm fine, Dad. Sorry," I called back through the door.

"You sure?"

"Yeah, it was just a nightmare. No worries."

I heard Charlie grunt in response, then return to his own room.

Fresh tears dropped onto the quilt that had pooled in my lap, and I tried to breathe deeply, to slow my wildly pounding heart.

I almost screamed again when the bed dipped beside me. Then, two burning arms wrapped around me from behind, and I wept anew with relief.

"You okay, honey? I heard you scream."

"I would be, but I just had a heart attack," I gasped out between sobs, and he chuckled a little.

"Come here, baby."

He turned me gently until my face was buried in his bare chest, and I wrapped my arms around him, holding on to him like a raft in the open ocean.

I took deep, even breaths, focusing on his smell and the comforting warmth of his skin. It didn't take long before I felt completely calm. I turned my head and pressed a lingering kiss onto the skin that had pillowed my cheek, and one of his hands moved to brush my hair back from my face.

"Better?" he asked. His voice had dropped an octave, and I knew exactly what he was thinking. I was thinking something along the same lines myself.

"All better."

I raised my head to meet his eyes, and he was already leaning closer, shuffling his body further down the bed so he could reach my lips with his.

He kissed me tentatively at first, aware that I had been crying mere moments before. He cupped my cheek and brushed it softly with his thumb, wiping away the last of the tears.

While I appreciated that he was trying to be a gentleman, I'd had enough tentative, enough careful, to last me a lifetime.

Gently, I pulled his lower lip between my teeth, applying just enough pressure to let him know I wanted more.

Jacob didn't have to be told twice. With a groan, he pushed on my shoulder until I was flat on my back with his weight carefully rested against my side. I tried to slide my knee between his, but it was still trapped underneath the blanket.

Instead, I settled for twining my fingers into his thick hair. A few stray droplets of rain water broke free and fell on my face, making my nose wrinkle.

Jacob laughed a little at my expression.

"I might be getting your bed a little wet. Sorry."

"Kiss me again, and I'll consider forgiving you," I said, surprising myself with my own sauciness.

"Any time, any place, baby." His voice was low and gravely against my ear. I shivered despite the enveloping heat emanating from his body.

Then his mouth was on mine again, only this kiss was different than the other kisses we'd shared. I wasn't a total novice when we'd first started down this road, but this was definitely further than I'd ever gotten before.

His lips were insistent as they parted mine, but his hands were gentle, stroking softly up and down my arm and cradling my jaw. His tongue caressed my lower lip, and I responded instinctually by edging mine hesitantly out to meet his.

He moaned — actually moaned — and the sound vibrated through my entire body. Then he deepened the kiss beyond anything I'd ever experienced and hardly even imagined. It was so intimate, so all-consuming. I felt like butter melting beneath him, and it had nothing to do with his feverish body temperature.

Some still-functioning part of my brain wondered where Jacob had learned to kiss like this. There was nothing awkward or uncertain in the way his mouth confidently manipulated mine, drawing from me scandalous, embarrassing sounds I didn't even know I was capable of making. A part of me wanted to be mortified, but I felt too amazing right now to care.

I'd always objectively known Jacob was attractive — beautiful, even. But I couldn't have anticipated him having this strong of an effect on me. As friends, I'd always felt that our minds worked on the same wavelength, and now I was certain our bodies did too.

A distant howl barely registered in my mind. With a frustrated groan, Jacob pulled his lips from mine, turning his head towards the window where he'd entered.

I opened my eyes to look at him and liked what I saw. My pale hand rested on his shoulder: light against dark.

My lust-addled brain was nowhere near ready to stop kissing him, so I kissed everywhere I could reach, craning up to reach his neck, then moving down over his collarbone and the top of his chiseled chest.

Jacob groaned and turned to look down at me. His dark eyes were hooded now, so black with need that I almost couldn't distinguish between iris and pupil.

"I have to go," he said regretfully, his voice a hoarse whisper.

"No," I whimpered, tightening my arms around his neck.

His answering laugh tickled against my skin as he smiled down at me. He gently brushed the backs of his fingers against my cheek, those dark eyes seemingly memorizing every detail of my face.

"I won't be far," he consoled. "I volunteered to patrol the woods around your place tonight. Didn't want to be too far away."

"Is that how you heard me, earlier?"

He nodded.

"You also called my name, you know," he added softly, resting his feverish forehead against mine.

"Oh," was the only answer I could manage to squeak out, my cheeks heating up in shame, which, of course, he noticed.

"Don't be embarrassed, baby. I'll always be right here, whenever you need me, and you never need to be embarrassed about it."

I nodded, trying to think of something else to say, some way to keep him from leaving.

The low howl echoed into the room again, more insistent this time.

"I really do have to go now," Jacob whispered regretfully, dropping one last fleeting kiss onto my lips.

He sat up, and I followed, throwing my arms around him and hugging him close. His deep chuckle vibrated against my chest as he returned my hug, rubbing my back in soothing circles.

"Remember, I'll be right outside. No need to be scared."

I didn't know how to tell him that the thought of him out there looking to pick a fight with a bloodthirsty vampire terrified me more than anything.

"By, Bells," he finally said, prying my arms gently from around his neck. His smile, as he looked down at me from his freakish hight, was beyond pleased, almost smug, but full of tenderness. "I'll be back in just a few hours with your truck."

"Bye," I breathed, clinging to the knowledge that he'd be back soon as I watched him open the window and jump gracefully out. I listened for the sound of his feet hitting the ground, but all was completely silent.

A few seconds later, another howl drifted into the room, much closer this time. The sound was warm and comforting, and I let its final echoes warm me as I drifted back to sleep.

 **A/N: This chapter was a little short, but I wanted to go ahead and break it up here. I didn't mean to write another make-out scene this soon, but those two kids have minds of their own. ;)**

 **Everything's been pretty fluffy and happy so far, but don't get too comfortable. The angst can't be too far away. *evil chuckle***

 **I try to reply to reviews, but in case I missed you, thank you so much! Your feedback means the world to me.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4: Tremors**

I awoke the next morning to the noisy rumble of my truck pulling into the driveway.

Jumping out of bed, I searched frantically for a pair of jeans and a clean shirt. I glanced at the clock. It was early, but Charlie would already have left for the station.

I grabbed my toiletries bag and made my way into the small bathroom. One glance in the mirror told me my hair was top priority. Taking out my brush, I attacked the mass of knots in the back as I listened for Jacob's knock.

"Can I help with that?"

The unexpected voice was right behind me. I screamed. Brandishing the hairbrush like a weapon, I swung at my unexpected guest. He ducked out of the way and disarmed me with maddening ease.

"You have _got_ to stop doing that, Jacob!"

His smile faded, and he reached out to me, pulling me to him. I struggled in vain against his strong arms, still too mad at him for scaring me like that to feel affectionate, but he didn't seem to notice.

"I'm so sorry, honey. I didn't mean to sneak up on you."

The warmth of his body started to melt my ire, and I rested my forehead against his chest, letting him soothe me by gently rubbing my back.

"Just, please, start walking a little louder from now on," I groaned, letting my hands come to rest on the sides of his trim waist.

Jacob chuckled and kissed the top of my head.

"I'll try."

He turned me around gently, and our eyes met in the bathroom mirror.

"May I?" he asked again, holding up my hair brush.

I nodded my permission, closing my eyes as he started carefully pulling the bristles through my knotted hair, following each stroke with a light brush of his hand. When all the offending snarls had been dealt with, he put the brush down on the counter and gathered my now-smooth hair in his hands, letting it trickle through his fingers like water.

"I've always wanted to touch your hair like this," he admitted, running his fingers through it again. "It's so soft and smells incredible."

"Thanks," I replied, almost purring as he continued his ministrations.

"Everyone's heading over to Sam and Emily's. I'm here to pick you up, if you want to come with."

The idea of warm muffins and the happy, boisterous pack sounded appealing. I felt my face light up as I enthusiastically agreed.

"Afterwards, I was thinking I could introduce you to a new way to get your adrenaline fix."

I froze a little at his words, immediately reminded of the reason I'd been needing an adrenaline fix in the first place for the past few months. I felt guilty that I'd been so selfishly reckless and guilty that I still hadn't told Jacob the truth about my motives. My smile faltered as I braced myself, knowing he deserved the truth, no matter what it cost me.

"Jacob, I…"

"Let's talk in the car," he interrupted. "Everyone else is probably there already. We should get going."

"Okay," I conceded, a fresh wave of guilt washing over me for feeling relieved that I could put off this conversation a little longer. "Now leave me alone so I can brush my teeth."

"I'll be in the car."

With a quick hug from behind and one last kiss to the top of my head, he left the room.

I rolled my eyes as he stomped down the stairs.

"Walking louder," he called back over his shoulder.

"Just don't break my stairs," I laughed, making quick work of brushing my teeth and splashing water on my face.

When I was ready, I made my way outside, finding Jake already in my truck with the engine running. He was in the driver's seat, so I hopped into the passenger side. For the first time since he arrived, I realized how exhausted he looked.

"Are you okay, Jake?" I asked, reaching for his hand. "Did you get any sleep?"

He shook his head.

"I'm fine, though. Sleep is a luxury, these days."

"You're taking a nap after Emily's," I insisted.

"You're the boss," he responded with a tired grin.

The atmosphere at Emily's was somber.

I was surprised to see Sue Clearwater seated at the small kitchen table, flanked on either side by Seth and Leah. Sam was seated beside Seth, who was manfully choking back tears. Sue's face was pained, but composed, obviously trying to remain strong for her children.

Leah's dark eyes flashed up when we entered but quickly darted away again. She pinched the bridge of her nose between her thumb and forefinger as if to ward off a headache.

Embry, Paul, and Jared were all leaning against the kitchen counter, with shirts on, for a change. I was briefly surprised to see Quill, the newest member of the pack, standing beside them.

Emily was just pulling a tray of steaming hot muffins out of the oven, her long hair pulled back in an elaborate braid that swung gracefully as she moved.

Everyone except Leah smiled when we walked in. The standing boys in the kitchen shot each other mischievous looks.

"Come on in, you two. Food's almost ready," Emily greeted us warmly, reaching back into the oven for a second tray of muffins.

Jacob pulled out the last chair at the table for me, and I took it. A hushed whisper and a round of boisterous laughter erupted from behind me, and I saw Jacob shoot his friends a warning glance that made even my blood run cold for a second.

"Hey, Bella," Seth greeted me with a sweet smile. Even from his seated position, I could tell he was taller than the last time I'd seen him.

"Seth, I can't even begin to tell you how sorry I am," I said sincerely. My heart ached as a lone tear escaped Seth's careful control, and he brushed it away quickly, looking around the room in embarrassment as Sam clapped him consolingly on the back.

"Sue, Leah, I'm so sorry," I continued. "I didn't know Harry well, but Char…but my dad spoke very highly of him."

Leah exhaled a short, angry laugh, refusing to meet my eyes.

"Thank you, Bella," Sue answered, shooting Leah a confused glance. "Your father's been a tremendous help these past couple days."

I nodded. "That's good. I can't even imagine what you're all going through. If there's anything I can do…"

"You can shut up and stop spouting platitudes at us already!"

"Leah!" Sue and Seth exclaimed simultaneously. A hushed silence descended as the attention of the room was suddenly fixed on us.

My face heated up as I replayed my own words in my head, horrified that I might have said anything to make her feel worse than she already did.

"I'm sorry. I…"

"Don't apologize, Bella," Sue cut me off before turning to Leah. "Sweetheart, that was out of line. I think you owe Bella an apology."

Leah's fist came down hard on the table, making us all jump back in surprise.

"Why should I apologize to Little Miss Perfect when she's sitting over there patronizing us, talking about things she has no idea…"

Leah's angry tirade cut off with a pained groan as she pressed her palm against her forehead. Her shoulders trembled as she clenched and unclenched her fist on the table, seemingly fighting against the overwhelming pain and loss that threatened to consume her.

"It's okay, Sue," I spoke up, not wanting to press Leah further. "Don't make her apologize to me. She's hurting. I understand."

"Ugh!"

I flinched at Leah's angry exclamation, horrified that, instead of helping, I'd apparently made it worse. Jacob's hand was warm as it curled around my shoulder, and I leaned into his side for support.

Leah's dark eyes zeroed in on the contact, and her expression became even angrier. She sucked in a deep breath as her hands started to tremble.

"Are you all right, Leah?" Sam asked, his brow creasing with concern.

The sound of Sam's voice brought on a fresh wave of trembling, and Leah stood up from her chair so quickly it clattered to the ground.

"It's too hot in here next to that damned stove," she muttered, fleeing the house like the devil himself was chasing her.

I looked around the table, meeting Sue's eyes, then Seth's. When I turned to look at Sam, his gaze was fixed above my head, sharing a confused look with Jacob.

A few seconds later, the quiet in the small kitchen was shattered by an ear-splitting scream.

Sam was the first to move, jumping from his seat and flinging the front door open with a crash. Jacob and the other wolves were right behind him, moving so fast the rest of us could barely follow their movements. They were all outside by the time Sue, Seth, Emily, and I made it to the door.

My eyes grew wide at the sight that greeted me.

Leah was standing in the middle of the front yard, her entire body shaking violently, like she was having a seizure, only standing upright.

"What's happening to me?" she cried just before she arched back with a sickening crunch.

A scream tore free from her lips as we all watched in silent horror, mouths gaping open in shock.

Her body jolted forward again as another crunch broke through the silence. I heard Sue gasp as her daughter's leg broke underneath her.

Sam stepped forward then, stooping beside Leah's crouched, trembling form.

"Lean into the tremors, Leah. Let the anger take you."

The trembling intensified as Leah's shape started to blur and pulse around the edges.

"That's it, Leah," Sam continued. "Let it go! Release all the anger, the hurt. Let it have you. Now!"

One last scream turned into a growl as Leah exploded out of her clothes, landing on all fours as a great silver wolf.

Emily screamed behind me as Leah lunged at Sam, who managed to transform just in time to absorb the blow against his massive chest. Growls and snarls erupted all around as two other wolves joined the fray. I didn't know who.

As suddenly as the fight started, it was over. Leah dashed off, disappearing into the woods with the three other wolves hot on her heels.

The rest of us stood there, watching them go in shock and confusion.

Seth's quivering voice broke the stunned silence.

"Mom, what wrong with me?"

My eyes left the tree line and took in Seth's trembling form beside me. His eyes were wide, terrified, as the tremors spread over him.

"Everyone, get away from him!" Jacob yelled, and I stumbled back, colliding with Emily who stood just behind me in the doorway.

Her arms wrapped around me, and we held each other as Jacob wrenched Seth away from Sue, tackling him off the porch as the tremors reached a fever pitch.

They both hit the ground as wolves.

The most pitiful whining sound came from the Seth-wolf as he lay on the ground where he landed, only lifting his head to look down at his terrifying new form.

Jacob stood and walked over to Seth, leaning his massive head down against the smaller wolf's. Even in this form, I recognized the pained look on Jacob's face as he squeezed his eyes shut, offering Seth what comfort he could.

A few moments later, Seth managed to slowly and deliberately stand on his four new paws, pausing for a breath before taking off in the same direction the others had.

Jacob looked back toward the house, meeting my wide-eyed gaze. Those expressive, human eyes locked with mine for a charged moment before he turned, following Seth into the woods.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5: Things Hidden**

We stood there in the doorway for what felt like an eternity —Sue, Emily, and I — holding each other close as we fought to absorb the shock of what we'd just seen.

There was a hollow ringing in my ears, partly from the deafening growls of the fighting wolves, and partly from the blood rushing through my veins.

Embry's voice was the first to break the loaded silence as he and Quil, the only two still standing in human form, carefully approached. Both were already beginning to tremble, impatient to join their pack.

"Sam will be explaining everything to them now, Sue," he explained, his voice level but sympathetic. "We can communicate without speaking in wolf form, so we'll all be there to help them adjust."

I wondered what Embry meant, that the wolves could communicate without speaking. I made a mental note to ask Jacob about that later.

Embry continued, "don't worry if you don't hear from us for a while, but we'll try to keep you updated."

"It took me three whole days to figure out how to phase back," Quil added, and I saw Sue nod her understanding from the corner of my eye. "We'll take care of 'em, Mrs. Clearwater."

"Thank you, boys," Sue responded, her voice firm despite the horror she had just seen her children go through.

Quil and Embry turned and disappeared into the trees to join the pack, and the three of us silently made our way outside to pick up all the destroyed clothing from the front lawn.

I found my car keys lying next to the shredded remains of Jacob's shorts, and pocketed them.

Thankfully, he hadn't bothered to wear shoes.

I couldn't bring myself to throw out the slightly grease smudged remains of Jacob's t-shirt. It had split down the middle, but was still in one tattered piece and smelled like soap and Jacob. I held onto it, twisting the soft cotton between my shaking fingers as the three of us returned to the kitchen.

My heart ached a little at the thought that Jacob was in pain every time he had to change. It wasn't something I'd ever thought about before, but it made sense. How long did he stand there that first time convulsing, bones snapping, his body tearing itself apart from the inside, before he'd completed the transformation? I could only imagine how confused he must have been, how terrified.

I drove home when Emily took Sue back to her house to get ready for the funeral. Charlie wasn't there when I get back, so I assumed he was already at the funeral home. I wondered with a pang of sadness whether Seth and Leah had been able to change back in time to make it.

I picked at the leftovers I heated up for dinner but ended up throwing most of it out. My emotions were a turbulent mess after the rollercoaster the last two days had been, and being alone in the too-quiet house wasn't helping.

I took my time meticulously cleaning out the refrigerator, scrubbing each nook and cranny until it looked brand new, before turning my attention to the stove. I did all our laundry, dusted the entire house, and gave the already clean bathroom a quick once-over.

Having decided I'd sufficiently exhausted myself, I changed into pajamas and crawled into bed, Jacob's torn t-shirt clutched in my hands. I thought briefly about calling to see if he was back home yet, but decided against it. If he was free, I would have heard from him by now.

Recalling what he'd told me earlier about patrolling around my house, I went over to the window and opened it enough to stick my head out.

"Jacob?" I called softly into the night, my eyes scanning the dark tree-line hopefully for any sign of movement. Nothing. I called out once more, a little louder this time, before ducking back inside. I left the window cracked open a little, hoping that he would see it as the invitation it was if he did come by tonight.

I must have been truly exhausted because I actually managed to sleep through the night. I got up early enough to make breakfast for a somber Charlie before he left to pick Billy up for a fishing trip in Harry's honor.

As soon as the cruiser was out of sight, I sprinted to the phone and dialed the Blacks' number.

Billy answered.

"Hi, Billy. It's Bella. Is Jake home?"

Billy chuckled a little at my anxious tone before telling me that, no, he wasn't.

The line was silent for a moment as I debated asking my next question.

"Did Seth and Leah make it to the funeral yesterday?"

I heard a deep sigh from the other end.

"No, they didn't," he answered sadly. "Sam made it, but the others stayed with them."

Poor Seth and Leah, not only losing their father, but having to miss his funeral, too.

I asked Billy to leave a note for Jacob to call me when he got home, then wished him a nice day fishing and hung up.

I spent most of the day sitting in the kitchen with several cook books spread out in front of me, meticulously planning a heart-healthy menu for the week while waiting for the phone to ring. I'd written and re-written my grocery list three times, organizing it by aisle and item type before finally making myself go to the store.

Charlie was home when I got back, ensconced in his usual place in front of the TV. He didn't have any phone messages to report.

I pre-heated the oven as I rubbed the baking chicken I'd bought with seasonings and stuffed the cavity with garlic cloves and fresh herbs. Once it was in the oven, I dug out the potato ricer and set to work on my first ever batch of cauliflower rice. Hopefully Charlie wouldn't declare it an abomination and refuse to touch it.

We ate in our usual companionable silence, each of us lost in our own worries. I cleaned the kitchen, then watched TV with Charlie until he went up to bed.

I followed him up the stairs, grabbing my toiletries bag and heading to the bathroom for a quick shower. Clad in pajamas with my damp hair hanging loose around my shoulders, I made my way back to my bedroom and repeated last night's routine of opening my window and calling for Jacob, a little softer this time so Charlie wouldn't hear.

Nothing again. I sighed, leaving the window cracked open, and turned to get in bed.

True to form, I got my feet all tangled up in each other and plunged towards the floor, landing with a grunt on my hands and knees.

"Ah!" I winced as a loose floorboard gave underneath my hand, scraping the side of my wrist against the splintering wood.

I cradled my sore hand for a second, assessing the damage. It was painful but shallow, and there was only a little blood.

I was about to slide the loose board back into place so I could go rinse off my hand when something beneath it caught my eye. Removing the board completely, I stared wide eyed at what was hidden underneath.

I reached in with shaking fingers, my mouth hanging open in disbelief as I withdrew a handful of things that I thought were gone for good, things I assumed Edward had destroyed when he promised it would be as if he never existed.

There was an envelope that I knew contained vouchers for two airline tickets to Florida, a jewel case with a CD in it, and, most poignantly of all, the pictures we'd taken with the camera Charlie gave me for my birthday.

Tears immediately obscured my vision, and I wiped them away angrily, wanting to drink in every detail of Edward's perfect face — something I never thought I'd see again. Agony sliced through me as I looked at my almost painfully plain self standing beside him in the photograph, reminding me anew of all the reasons he'd left. The crease down the middle where I'd folded the picture severed us irrevocably apart, just as we were now and always would be.

I knew I was only torturing myself by doing so, but I dashed over to the CD player that had sat silently on my desk for months and popped the disk in. As the first sweet notes of my lullaby filled the air, the hole in my chest throbbed, threatening to split me in two.

I stepped back until my legs hit the side of the bed and sat down dejectedly, wrapping one arm around my middle to hold myself together while the other hand held both pictures up, side by side.

Esme's favorite was half way through playing when a light tap on my window jolted me out of my pained stupor. My eyes shot up to meet Jacob's just was he was climbing into the room.

"Jake, it's not a good time,." I snapped, cringing internally at my own harsh tone. Jacob didn't deserve it, but I felt irrationally angry at having to look away from Edward's pictures, even for a moment.

I shoved them underneath my pillow just a second too late. Jacob had already seen.

His hands started shaking as his eyes flitted between the pillow and my tear-streaked face, his eager expression transforming into the hard mask I dreaded seeing and hated to be the cause of.

"So sorry to interrupt. I'll just leave you two alone, then," he nearly spat, turning back towards the open window.

Pain sliced through me as he turned to leave, and I jumped up, closing the short distance between us.

"Wait! Jacob, don't go," I plead with him, wrapping my arms around him from behind.

He sighed, bracing his trembling hands on either side of the window as his head hung down between his arms. I pressed a kiss onto his hot back, between his shoulder blades, feeling the coiled muscles twitch beneath my lips.

I rested my forehead against him, and I felt his heart race underneath my hands, overlapped on his bare chest. They slipped a little, down to his hard, flat stomach.

I felt the tension leave his body as he started to relax under my touch.

"I'm sorry," I breathed against his skin, basking in the warmth and wholeness I felt now that he was here. "I don't want you to go."

Jacob sighed, shaking his head once before turning in my arms to return my embrace. His hug was less enthusiastic than usual, but at least he wasn't trying to leave. I buried my face against him, holding on tighter to prolong the moment before I'd have to see the look on his face. He had to be hurting, and it was all my fault.

He pulled away first, stepping backwards until he could sink down into my rocking chair. As I'd expected, his expression was utterly heartbreaking. He looked defeated, tortured. I hated myself for doing this to him, and I couldn't help but wonder if I'd made a mistake in agreeing to this relationship.

I knew I'd never be a good enough person to release him, though. The emptiness I'd felt while we were apart couldn't be solely attributed to my continued grief over Edward. I needed my sun.

It was so confusing, fighting my opposing feelings for two entirely different people. Only minutes ago, I'd been crying my heart out over Edward's photographs, and now I was consumed with the almost irresistible pull I felt whenever Jacob was near.

I stepped closer, reaching out for him, wanting to curl up against him and make the pain go away.

He held up his hand, and I stopped mid-stride.

"I just need a minute, Bells," he breathed, dropping his face into his hands as he hunched over, resting his elbows on his knees.

I sat down on the foot of the bed and waited for what felt like an eternity, but was probably only a couple minutes, watching as his breathing gradually slowed and his shaking hands stilled.

Finally, he looked up at me again, his expression tender but still a little sad.

"Come here, baby," he whispered, reaching out to me.

I went eagerly into his arms, curling up in his lap as his comforting warmth enveloped me.

"Are you okay?" he asked, nuzzling his face against my hair.

I nodded, afraid I couldn't speak around the lump in my throat.

We were quiet for several minutes, rocking gently back and forth. Clair de Lune was playing now, Edward's unique touch evident even through the familiar notes. I sighed, exhausted physically and emotionally and just so damned tired of being miserable.

Reluctantly, I pushed myself off of Jacob and crossed to the CD player. I pressed the stop button, and the following silence was like another physical presence in the room.

"Why'd you turn it off?" Jacob asked a moment later.

"Edward made this CD for me," I answered honestly, cringing as I feared the mention of Edward's name would bring on the return of Sam's Jacob. "It's him playing."

"Oh," Jacob responded simply. "He's pretty good."

I nodded, taking another deep breath before turning back around.

Jacob had risen from the rocking chair soundlessly and was making his way over to me. I leaned into him as his arms snaked around me, accepting the comfort I didn't feel like I deserved.

"Bella, I knew going into this that you still had some getting over him to do. I get it." His breath was warm against my hair, as his burning hands traced lightly up and down my back. "I just want to know…do you do this often? With the pictures… and the music?"

I was shaking my head before he'd even finished the question.

"No, I actually just found these things. Edward must have hidden them in the floorboards."

"He…what?"

"I tripped earlier and knocked a board loose," I explained, pulling back to see his expression. "Those things were underneath. I assumed he took them when he…left."

Unexpectedly, he chuckled a little.

"That's my Bella, clumsy as ever."

Something about the way he said "my Bella" sent a little excited thrill racing through me.

"Honey, I want you to know I understand about your feelings for him and all. I never expected you to be magically healed by my kissing prowess."

Leave it to Jacob to find a way to make me laugh, in spite of it all.

"I just want to know, okay?" he continued. "You don't have to hide anything from me."

I nodded silently, my thoughts instantly going to the voices — well, Edward's voice. Jacob needed to know before things got any more serious between us. Something deep inside me knew it wouldn't change things for him even if I was certifiably crazy, but, regardless, he didn't deserve me holding anything back.

"I want to know about you too," I prompted quietly after a moment. "About what it's like for you, being a wolf, I mean. After what I saw Seth and Leah go through, I can't imagine it's easy."

"That's the understatement of the year," he answered dryly, pulling me back into his arms."Speaking of which, there are some things we need to talk about — things I need to explain."

"Like what?" I asked, a little alarmed by his tone.

"Nothing we ever need to worry about," he answered quickly. "It's just something Sam seems to think I should explain to you. It's stupid, really."

"About being a werewolf?" I prompted, my curiosity rising.

Jacob sighed, leaning down to rest is forehead against mine.

"Bells, I'm exhausted. I can barely remember the last time I slept. Can't it wait until tomorrow?"

He did look tired to the bone. The dark circles under his eyes were starting to look almost as pronounced as a vampire's.

"Okay," I conceded, though I was certain worry about what Sam could possibly be pressuring him to explain to me would keep me up all night.

"I have the day off of patrols tomorrow, so we can spend the whole day together, if you want."

I perked up a little at the thought of an entire day spent with Jacob.

"I'd love that," I answered, squeezing him a little for emphasis.

He responded by cupping his large hand around my jaw, tilting my face up for a soft, lingering kiss.

"Let's get you in bed," he prompted gently, pulling away from my mouth with obvious reluctance.

I turned and let him guide me to the bed. He pulled back the covers for me, and I slid in.

"Bells?" he asked as I was making myself comfortable against the pillows, his expression turning thoughtful.

"Yeah, Jake?"

"Is it alright if I try something?" he asked, seating himself beside me on the bed.

"Sure," I responded, my brow furrowing in confusion as he reclined next to me. His fingers threaded into my hair, stroking gently as he leaned down, brushing his nose back and forth against mine.

My breath hitched as he feathered several light kisses over my lips, gradually increasing in intensity until I was gripping his hair so hard it probably would have hurt a normal guy. As nice as it was, I was still completely in the dark about what he wanted to try. This was all territory we'd covered before.

His burning lips coaxed mine apart, and I felt the heat of his breath in my mouth. His tongue pressed lightly against my lower lip. Acting on pure instinct, I let mine flick up to meet his.

I felt his answering groan vibrate against my lips, and suddenly it was becoming clear exactly what it was he wanted to try.

 _Oh._

My toes curled as his tongue slipped past my parted lips, drawing mine into a heated dance that left me breathless in the most incredible way. His taste was delicious, warm and spicy like cinnamon and black pepper. I didn't think I would ever get tired of that taste or of the blissful little sounds he made whenever I matched his intensity.

When we were both out of breath, he pulled back with a triumphant grin, his eyes raking over my face, which I was certain was completely flushed. My eyes had to be glazed over and half closed too. I felt weightless and like I was sinking into the bed at the same time.

 _I just French kissed Jacob._

It sounded so crazy, but felt so right at the same time. A blissful giggle bubbled up before I could stop it. My arms draped languidly around his neck, tightening as he started to pull away.

"Goodnight, Bells," he whispered regretfully, reaching behind him to gently free himself from my grasp.

"You can stay, if you want." As soon as the words were out, I realized how badly I wanted exactly that.

"You want me to spend the night with you?" His expression was one of stunned disbelief with hint of suggestiveness that made me tremble.

"Just to sleep," I clarified quickly, cringing as I felt the familiar heat flood my cheeks.

Jacob chuckled.

"I'm too exhausted for any more hanky-panky anyway," he teased, lifting himself off of the covers enough to slide in beside me. Our legs tangled together beneath the blanket, and I couldn't resist curling my toes around his warm calf.

"Or I could always get a second wind," he breathed against my skin as he hovered over me to press his lips several times against the curve of my neck.

I laughed, pushing gently against his chest until he lay back, resting his head on the pillow beside me.

The crunch of photo paper under his head brought us both back down to earth.

Jacob's smile faltered as he sat up, reaching beneath the pillow to withdraw the two photos. He would have tossed them on the desk without looking at them, but the way the one was folded down the middle caught his eye.

"Why do you have this one folded like that?" he asked, turning it over to study my side of the picture.

"I just…didn't like how ordinary I looked next to him, I guess," I answered with feigned nonchalance, hoping if I shrugged it off like it was no big deal, Jacob would too. Of course, that wasn't the case.

"You look beautiful," he insisted, his voice firm and filled with conviction. "You're warm and alive — gorgeous. He looks like something that crawled out of a morgue refrigerator."

I cringed a little, both at his harsh words about Edward and his overly generous assessment of my appearance.

To my surprise, he gripped the top of the picture with his fingers, ripping it down the folded seam. He tossed the two pictures of Edward face-down onto the desk before slipping the half with me on it into the pocket of his shorts.

I wondered if he would ask me to throw away the pictures of Edward, but he didn't say anything else about them. He simply slipped back into bed, wrapping one arm around my waist and turning me so my back was pressed against his front.

"Night, Bells," he breathed against my hair.

"Goodnight, Jacob," I replied.

I heard his first soft snores only seconds later, and a small smile tugged at my lips. He was so exhausted, I was glad he was getting some much-needed rest and that he was here with me. We were spending our first night together.

My blush returned when I thought back to his reaction to my invitation. I knew he didn't really think I was suggesting anything more than sleep, but I could also tell the thought had crossed his mind, typical teenage boy that he was.

Edward had told me early on in our relationship that full physical intimacy was impossible for us. I suddenly wondered about the possibilities for Jacob and I, someday.

The thought prompted a mental image that sent me diving beneath the covers to hide my blush, though Jacob was soundly asleep, totally oblivious to my wandering thoughts.

Jacob had never seemed hesitant or careful while kissing me or holding me close. I knew he was strong, but controlling that strength didn't seem to be as much of an issue for him. Memories of the intimate way he'd kissed me earlier flooded my mind, and I squirmed a little in his arms. Edward would never have done anything like that.

It would be a while before I let things get that far with Jacob, though. It had to be. I wasn't so naive as to think that agreeing to be his girlfriend and letting him kiss and hold me wouldn't eventually lead somewhere more intimate, but I would need to be in a better place first. And who knew how long that might take.

I sighed, my thoughts turning again to the things I'd found hidden under the floorboard. Why had Edward hidden them there? I assumed he had decided to hide them instead of taking the time to dispose of them. It would have taken him only seconds to pull up a board and slip them beneath it. He must have assumed I would never find them. Now he had inadvertently broken his parting promise.

A part of me wanted to get up and look at Edward's pictures again, but I stopped myself. I had promised myself that I would try to give Jacob what was left of my heart, and I had to keep that promise, not only because he deserved nothing less but because he was vital to my own existence. Tonight had proven that unmistakably.

I forced my mind to focus on Jacob's sleeping presence behind me, which wasn't hard to do considering the heat from his body was already making me sweat. I tossed the blankets away, and the movement roused him a little, though he didn't wake up fully. He simply tightened his arms around me, holding me together like he always did.

Exhausted from the emotional turmoil of the evening, I drifted off to sleep in Jacob's arms.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6: Sunlight and Shadow**

That night, I dreamt of Phoenix. It was the hight of summer, too hot to wear anything more than shorts and tank top.

My eyes were closed, but somehow I knew I was in the back yard of the house I grew up in, cradled comfortably in the hammock that swayed in the gentle breeze. The direct sunlight soaked into my skin, and I reveled in it, letting its warmth penetrate down to my bones.

God, how I'd missed this — the feeling of sunlight on my skin. I knew I would burn if I didn't move soon, but I couldn't bring myself to care.

I fought against consciousness as it started to intrude, clinging desperately to the beautiful warmth.

My fingers brushed against something hot and smooth, and I was jolted awake by the unexpected sensation. A smile tugged at my lips as I realized that the sun hadn't dissolved away with my dream. He was lying next to me: my own personal sun.

I heard gravel crunch as the police cruiser backed out of the driveway and realized the sound of the vehicle starting must have woken me. It was early still, so I let my eyes drift closed, soaking in the warmth that radiated from Jacob's skin.

A chilly breeze blew in from the window we'd left open, balancing out the heat. The blankets had fallen to the floor while we slept, but I was more than warm enough.

Some time in the night, I'd rolled over so that I was facing Jacob. His arm was still slung over my middle, and his leg was now draped over mine, trapping me like he had when we'd fallen asleep on the couch. There was no way I could move without waking him.

I held out for as long as I could, but the demands of my full bladder were making themselves known.

"Jacob," I whispered gently, not wanting to startle him. I trailed my fingers gently back and forth over his arm, and he stirred slightly. "Jake, wake up."

He groaned, but didn't waken. I found myself suddenly crushed to him in an even more unbreakable hold.

"Eek! Jacob, let me go! Please!"

"What?" he groaned sleepily, finally hearing me. "Oh, hey, babe. Mornin'." He kissed the top of my head and nuzzled against my hair, completely oblivious that I was trying with all my strength to push him away.

"Need. Bathroom. Now!"

I blushed furiously, but finally got through to him. His arms loosened, and I jumped out of their hold, rolling my eyes at his deep chuckle as I sprinted to the bathroom.

I returned a few minutes later to find Jacob stretched out, full length, across my bed — all six-and-a-half feet of him. His arms were rested languidly behind his head, displaying the lean muscles of his chiseled torso to maximum advantage. He'd probably planned it that way, but I still found myself staring.

"Get over here, beautiful," he sighed, extending a hand in my direction. It was an invitation I was sure no heterosexual woman in the world would refuse.

I curled up against his side, resting my head on his burning chest as his arms wrapped around me. My eyes fell on the two pictures of Edward lying face-down on my desk, and I braced myself for the inevitable crushing pain.

I waited for the hole in my chest to open up, but all I could feel was frustration. I didn't want to hurt anymore, didn't want to feel the pain. So, I just…didn't.

 _But you_ should _be hurting_ , I reminded myself guiltily. I had fallen for the most incredible guy in the world and overcome impossible odds to be with him. He'd said the most perfect things to me, and I had believed him against my better judgement. I'd found a world and a family where I finally felt like I belonged, and it had all been cruelly snatched away.

What was it all for if I simply got over it and moved on? I hadn't only lost Edward, I'd lost the person —the vampire — I'd seen myself becoming. Maybe I was just being stubborn, but I didn't want to give her up. And I knew that the moment I stopped mourning her loss was the moment she ceased to exist, forever.

Jacob's soft lips brushed against the skin of my forehead, a poignant reminder that, by choosing grief and regret, I wasn't only hurting myself. I was hurting him too.

I loved him so desperately it made my heart ache, but it still wasn't enough. It wasn't nearly what he deserved.

I had made a promise to myself, though. Jacob got everything that was left, everything I still had to give him. He'd been more patient and understanding than I'd had any right to hope for when he found me sobbing over pictures of the vampire who left me. But it had still hurt him. _I_ had hurt him.

Already, I was breaking my promise, and not for the first time. I still hadn't told Jacob about the hallucinations, but after last night, I couldn't help but wonder if telling him was the right thing to do, after all. Hadn't he been hurt enough by my feelings for Edward already? Besides, I was giving up all the craziness, the motorcycles, and all the insane adrenaline seeking. The last time Edward's voice came to me, when I'd decided to choose Jacob and he'd wished me happiness, it had felt like goodbye. Somehow, I knew that Edward's voice would never haunt me like that again.

I never wanted Jacob to feel like a consolation prize, like second best. There was nothing in me that deserved him. He was much too good.

An insistent growl interrupted my tortured musings, and I was thankful for something useful to do.

"Breakfast?" I asked, pulling myself upright.

"Please. I'm starved."

"I can tell," I smiled down at him as I rose and made my way to the door.

I was glad I had grocery shopped the day before. There was plenty of bacon, eggs, and a whole loaf of bread.

Jacob hovered behind me as I flipped the bacon and stirred the eggs, "supervising," as he said. In reality, he was driving me crazy.

Brushing all my hair to one side, he trailed burning kisses along the exposed side of my neck, all the way up to my ear and down to where my skin disappeared under my tee-shirt. The spatula I'd been using clattered noisily to the floor, and he chuckled, bending to pick it up for me.

He left me alone after that to finish preparing breakfast unmolested. Probably didn't want to risk going hungry.

"So, what do you want to do with your day off?" I asked as I transferred the finished breakfast to the table and handed him a plate.

"I promised you a new way to get your adrenaline fix, remember? I was thinking we could try that."

My hands froze over the toast I was buttering.

"About that…I don't think it's a good idea to do any more reckless things. After Harry, I realized I can't risk putting Charlie through any more loss."

"You don't have to worry about this," he shot back, pausing to shove another slice of bacon in his mouth. "You'll be safer than you are just walking around the house."

I raised an eyebrow at him, feeling skeptical. "Doesn't sound like much of a rush."

"Oh, trust me, it is." He gave me a sly smile, then dug back into his breakfast with gusto, downing what had to have been at least five eggs in one bite. I would have to make another trip to the grocery store tomorrow.

An hour later, the dishes were washed and I was dressed and ready to go on this mysterious outing Jacob was almost twitching with excitement to take me on.

The weather was relatively nice for Forks, but I pulled on my rain jacket anyway. No point taking chances.

"One more thing." He held up his wrist, showing me a hair-tie he must have pilfered from my room when I wasn't paying attention. "Turn around."

I did as he asked, and his fingers flew nimbly through my hair, twisting it into a tight braid that he draped over my shoulder.

"Ready?" he asked, extending his hand for me to take.

"As I'll ever be."

"Come on, then."

I started toward the door, but Jacob stopped me, tugging me back towards the stairs.

"Uh, Jake…?"

"We're taking the back exit," he explained cryptically.

When he tugged me into my bedroom, I had a moment of panic when I realized what the "back exit" was.

"How is jumping out the window to my death perfectly safe?" I gasped.

"Relax, Bells." He rolled his eyes. "Trust me."

I sighed, but let him scoop me up in his arms. His chest felt warm even through my layers of clothing, and I held on for dear life, burying my face in his neck and squeezing my eyes closed.

A terrified whimper escaped as I felt him lift his leg over the window cill.

"If you don't trust me, this is going to be a long day," Jacob grumbled as he hurled us both out the window.

There was a rush of cool air across my face and a brief sensation of falling before we landed almost soundlessly in the grass. I cracked one eye open cautiously to make sure that we were indeed on solid ground. I hadn't felt any impact at all.

Jacob didn't set me down until we were several paces into the woods behind my house. When he did, his eyes were bright with excitement.

"Hold on tight and lean forward, okay, Bells? Let me know when you're ready."

"Hold on to what?" I asked as he turned and dashed away from me into the thick undergrowth. The moment he left my sight, I started to panic.

"Jacob!" I cried, stumbling forward as my eyes frantically searched for him. This felt too familiar. The beginnings of tears prickled behind my eyes.

Before I could get too worked up, though, he reappeared, approaching slowly so I wouldn't be scared.

I'd seen him in wolf form before, but never like this. The first time, he was hunting Laraunt, and the second he was comforting a newly changed Seth. This time, his attention was solely focused on me.

He slowly came closer, those dark eyes that were the only thing that hadn't really changed watching me intently, assessing my response. There was something in his posture and expression that seemed to beg me not to be afraid, to accept this side of him just as I had the human Jacob.

Swallowing back the tiny lump of fear in my throat, I took a step forward, helping him close the gap between us. No matter how terrifying he looked, this was Jacob. I knew to the very core of my being that he would never hurt me.

When we were close enough, I stretched out my hand, and he ducked his head so I could reach. The fur was coarse, but soft, under my fingers. I trailed them over the top of his head and around his velvety ear, bringing them to rest in the longer, thicker fur around his neck. A rough sigh whooshed out of him as he relaxed under my touch, apparently relieved that I hand't run screaming back to the house.

In a blindingly fast movement, he licked the side of my face, and I couldn't stifle my stunned squeal.

"Gross, Jake," I protested lamely, wiping my face on the sleeve of my jacket.

Jacob laughed — well, it was more of a bark — and turned his back on me, crouching as low to the ground as possible. He looked back at me over his shoulder and tilted his head, beckoning me closer.

When I realized what he was asking me to do, I almost did run screaming back to the house. Instead, I forced myself to take a deep breath. This was Jacob, I reminded myself. He promised I would be completely safe today. Safer than walking around my own house, he said. Surely he wouldn't go _too_ fast.

I braced my hands on his massive shoulders as I threw one leg across, straddling his back. He stood with surprising grace. I barely even felt the movement.

He'd told me to hold on tight and lean forward, so I did, fisting my hands in the mane around his neck as I rested the front of my body against him.

"I'm ready, I guess," I croaked, bracing myself.

He let out an excited yip, and then we were running.

My terrified scream was swallowed up by the air flying past my face, and I nestled even further into Jacob's neck. After the shock of the initial take-off passed, I realized I could barely feel the movement. Jacob was far more graceful than he looked.

I forced my tense muscles to relax. After all, this wasn't a completely new experience for me. Same scenario, different supernatural boyfriend.

The scantily patched up hole in my chest started to burn around the edges as I realized Edward's voice must truly be gone. Surely, he would be loosing his mind right now if he were still around. I doubted riding bareback on a teenage werewolf would rank high on his list of safe activities for me. Not that he cared anymore.

I didn't know how long we'd been running, but, eventually, I felt the air grow still around me. Now I understood why Jacob had braided my hair before we left. It would probably have resembled a bird's nest otherwise.

I could hear the roar of a waterfall nearby, and finally let my eyes open.

It was beautiful. Jacob had taken me to one of the most breathtaking places I'd ever seen. The falls had three levels, and we were on the middle one where the water pooled in a glassy, placid stream before plummeting down into the rocks below. Moss coated the stones on either side of the water, and the green contrasted beautifully with the crystal blue. It was paradise.

"Jake, this is…" I stopped short, words failing me miserably. "Thank you for bringing me here."

He crouched down so I could slide off his back, steadying me with his massive head when I stumbled. I kept one hand on his shoulder as we walked closer to the water's edge. Jake lowered his head to the clear stream and drank, and I did the same, squatting beside the water and cupping my hands to raise some to my lips. The water was cold and refreshing and tasted pure enough to bottle.

Jacob looked over at me, and I smiled at him, feeling so happy in this moment that it scared me. I wasn't supposed to be this happy ever again. It couldn't last, and I would be left all the more broken for it later.

In his own wolfy way, Jake smiled back, opening his mouth and showing me his terrifyingly massive teeth. I wondered if he would change back now that we were here, but he didn't seem in any hurry to. He found a mossy patch not too far from the water's edge and plopped down in it, resting his head on his front paws. I followed, making myself comfortable against his side as he curled his massive body around mine.

A contented sigh ruffled the loose strands that had escaped my braid, and I let myself relax into him, my mind going blank as I focused on the enchanting sounds of the rushing water and Jacob's heartbeat under my ear.

After a few minutes, there was a break in the clouds. The sun streamed through, warming my face much like it had in my dream. Jacob's nudged my arm with his nose, and I lifted my hand to brush softly over his face and head, earning a rumbling groan that was obviously a sound of perfect contentment.

I wasn't sure how much time had passed, but, all too soon, the sun slipped behind the dense clouds again, plunging us into shadow. Jake nudged my arm again, this time asking me to sit up. When I did, he stood and trotted into the trees, returning a moment later in human form.

I started to smile when he strode towards me, but his expression immediately put me on alert. His brows were pinched together over his dark eyes, his lips turned downward in a mixture of anger and worry.

"Jake, what's wrong?" I asked, going into his arms willingly when he pulled me to him.

"Sam keeps bugging me, that's all," he answered cryptically.

"What…" His lips crashed down on mine, cutting me off before I could question him further.

Something about this kiss scared me. There was a desperation behind his movements that I'd never felt before. His hands were almost rough as they moved over me, gripping my shoulders so tightly I'd probably have bruises in the shapes of his hands before moving down my back to gasp my hips, yanking me towards him. My neck ached from tilting my head back as far as it would go as he bowed my body against his.

Despite the desperation behind the kiss, my body responded hungrily, all conscious thought coming to a screeching halt as his hot tongue pushed past my lips. My hands were doing things without my permission, claiming every inch of smooth, heated skin I could reach.

When he finally pulled back, I was in a daze. I stumbled forward, trying to pull his lips back down to mine. With a groan, he gave in, but only for a moment, crushing me to him one last time before releasing me.

"We're not alone, Bella," he explained, his voice rougher than usual.

I slowly returned to my senses, becoming aware again of his stormy mood.

"God knows I want to keep going, but Sam and Embry are pretty close by, keeping an eye on things," he explained, and my eyes grew wide with alarm.

"You mean watching for Victoria!" I exclaimed. "Is she still out there?"

"We haven't caught her scent in a while, but they're staying close, just in case. You don't need to worry."

Easy for him to say, I thought. He might be spoiling for a fight, but the thought of him facing off against Victoria threatened to send me into full panic mode. We were practically vampire bait out here.

"Maybe we should go back."

"Nah, let's stay a little longer," he insisted. "If she were within a ten mile radius of here, we'd know it."

Somewhat mollified, I agreed to stay for a while longer, and Jacob's mood lightened slightly.

"Come on. I want to show you something else." He took my hand and led me over to the nearly sheer rock face beside the highest falls. "Climb on my back."

I looked at him askance, but gave in, letting him hoist me up until my legs were wrapped around his waist. He could probably feel my heart pounding against his back, but Jacob hadn't failed me yet today. I would trust him, no matter how terrified I was.

He kept one hand wrapped around my thigh, securing me to him, as he jumped half way up the rock face. His free hand latched on to a slight protrusion in the rock, and he used the leverage to vault the rest of the way up, landing lithely at the top.

"Wow," I gasped as he helped me slide off of his back. "That was pretty impressive."

"One of the few perks of being a werewolf."

He smiled genuinely then, tugging me to sit with him at the edge of the cliff. We let our legs dangle over the expanse of open air, and Jacob reached for my hand, intertwining our fingers between us.

"Jake, I know when you first phased, you weren't exactly happy about it," I ventured after a moment, turning away from the breathtaking view to study his expression. "I was wondering…is it any better, now?"

"Yes and no." He met my eyes for a moment before turning to look pensively out over the horizon. "One of the worst parts, initially, was the fear that me boing a werewolf would keep us apart. Having you know and accept me for what I am helps more than you can imagine."

I gave his hand an encouraging squeeze. "I'm glad."

"We're actually not supposed to seriously date anyone," he continued. "Sam's semi okay with me dating you because you already knew about the supernatural world. Not that I would have let him stop me, anyway."

There was a short pause as he sighed, his expression darkening again.

"There are things you still don't know, though. About us."

"Like what?" I prompted, my curiosity rising.

"Besides the whole supernatural world thing, there is one reason in particular Sam discourages us from dating. He insists I explain it to you, as a condition of me being 'allowed' to date you, even though I assured him it doesn't apply to us. Sam's just paranoid because he had a bad experience."

"What happened to Sam? He and Emily seem so happy."

Jacob sighed, releasing my hand and leaning back with his palms pressed against the damp moss.

"When Sam phased for the first time, he was with Leah."

"What?!" I exclaimed, turning to face him fully.

Jacob went on to tell me the story of how Sam and Leah had been together, struggling to make their relationship work with all the secrecy around his new life as a werewolf, when Leah's cousin, Emily, had come down from the Makah reservation to visit.

"What?! Emily and Leah are cousins!" I gasped. "How could Sam do that to Leah?"

"He didn't have any choice," Jacob explained. "Sam imprinted on Emily."

" _Imprinted_? What does that mean?"

"It's one of those weird wolf legends that turns out is actually true. It's supposed to be rare, the exception rather than the rule, so Sam was completely blindsided by it."

"What did it do to him?"

"It was like…the universe's way of telling him Emily was his soul mate. He loved Leah, but, when he saw Emily, that didn't matter any more."

"And Sam didn't have a choice?"

Jacob shook his head. "No, he didn't."

"Has this…imprinting thing…happened to any of the others?"

"Yes, to Jared."

"Has it happened to you?" My voice was barely a whisper. I held my breath, awaiting his response.

Jacob inhaled deeply, scrubbing his hand nervously over his face before lacing his fingers with mine again.

He opened his mouth to respond, and I braced myself, knowing the answer, whatever it was, would mean something big for us. My brain hadn't fully processed what exactly that was yet. All I knew was that, once I had the answer, nothing would be the same.

 **A/N: Sorry, not sorry, about the cliffy!**

 **I hate scenes where I'm basically restating S.M.'s words, so I tried to keep Jake's explanation** **of imprinting brief. So, did he or didn't he? Review and let me know** **what you think! ;)**

 **Ps. Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed the last chapter! Your encouragement and support mean the world to me, and I cherish each and every one.**


	7. Chapter 7

_**Last time:**_

" _Has it happened to you?" My voice was barely a whisper. I held my breath, awaiting his response._

 _Jacob inhaled deeply, scrubbing his hand nervously over his face before lacing his fingers with mine again._

 _He opened his mouth to respond, and I braced myself, knowing the answer, whatever it was, would mean something big for us. My brain hadn't fully processed what exactly that was yet. All I knew was that, once I had the answer, nothing would be the same._

 **Chapter 7: Howl**

"Jacob?" I prompted when the answer didn't immediately come, his hesitation making my anxiety rise with every passing second.

He turned to me with a determined glint in his dark eyes, cupping my face between his burning hands. His expression was one of intense concentration as he held my gaze for several seconds. Then, with a frustrated groan, he turned away from me. The chilly air stung my skin where his hands had warmed it.

"No," he breathed, at last. "No, it hasn't happened to me."

I exhaled audibly and looked away from him, trying to sort through my suddenly turbulent feelings. Maybe it was a good thing Jacob and I didn't share some mystical wolfy connection. I was damaged goods. It would be cruel and unfair for him to be forced to settle for that against his will.

"And it never _will_ happen to me," Jacob continued, his tone betraying his impatience to be done with the subject for good. "I promise. So, now can we just…get back to what we were doing before Sam started bugging me?"

He leaned toward me, reaching to pull me to him, but I was following a train of thought I knew needed to be seen through to its conclusion.

"Hold on." I held up a hand to stop him.

My mind was working in over-drive, running over and over the story he'd just told me as I struggled to process what it meant for me. For us.

"How do you know it won't happen to you?"

Jacob sighed. "I just…do."

"But you said that Sam was blindsided, that he didn't have a choice."

"That's right," he nodded.

"Based on what you just told me…it doesn't sound like that's something you can promise."

My blood turned to ice water in my veins, and my vision immediately began to swim with burgeoning tears. This couldn't be happening, not again. I wouldn't survive twice.

"You can't know it won't happen."

"Bells, I told you, we don't need to worry about it." He pinched the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger. I noticed his hands were starting to tremble. "I wasn't planning to say this yet, but…I love you, Bella. I'm in love with you, and I know there could never be anyone else for me."

His tender admission cut me to the core. My mouth opened to say I loved him too. Not enough, of course, not in the same way I had loved Edward. But I did love him, more so than I had ever planned to love anyone again.

My love for him wasn't enough to stop me from grieving Edward's loss, just like his love would never be enough to stop him from leaving me if and when the universe decided to reveal his fated soul mate. Rare or not, I knew, with my luck, it would happen eventually. Probably at the cruelest possible moment, just when I'd finally let my guard down, gotten comfortable, maybe even a little happy. I knew now that I could never allow that to happen.

Devastation turned to anger, and I lashed out, knowing I was being unnecessarily cruel to the person I wanted to hurt least, but unable to control it as a brand new hole ripped open next to the existing one.

"So what?" I spat. "One day, you could just run in to some random girl and…and it wouldn't matter anymore, like with Sam and Leah."

Jacob looked absolutely stricken as I threw his confession of love back in his face. Would I ever stop hurting him? My tears began falling uncontrollably, and I wrapped both arms around my middle, more afraid than ever that I might physically split in two.

"Bella, in order to imprint you have to _see_ the girl," Jacob plead, trying to catch my eye, but I stubbornly looked away. "I only see _you_."

"When were you going to tell me?" I pushed, ignoring his attempts at consolation. "If Sam hadn't forced you to? How long were you going to keep something as big as this from me?"

Jacob was shaking a little more strongly now. When he answered, his voice was harder, colder. The voice of Sam's Jacob. "I wasn't keeping anything a secret from you, Bella. I told you. It. Doesn't. Apply. To. Us! Why can't you just trust me?"

Furious and hurt, I brushed his hands away as they reached for me, standing and turning in the direction of the tree line.

"Where are you going?" He was beside me almost instantly, his hands grasping my upper arms.

"I can't do this, Jacob! I'm going home." Brushing him off again, I ran, wiping desperately at the tears that obscured my vision.

Jacob let go, but kept pace with me, following me into the woods.

"I didn't tell you because I didn't want you to worry for nothing," he growled in frustration. When I offered no response, he continued.

"I'm not surprised you would latch on to any possible excuse to push me away. Because, the truth is, you've realized you could be happy with me —happier than you ever were with that leech— and it terrifies you."

"Go away, Jacob!" I yelled as I pushed further into the dense forest, stubbornly refusing to think about how right he was.

"Will you at least let me take you home so we can talk about this?"

"There's nothing to discuss."

" _Bella_." The voice of _my_ Jacob was back, and he sounded utterly lost. My resolve started to weaken. I squeezed my eyes closed, knowing that, if I saw his face right now, I would be totally undone.

"Jake, when we agreed to give things a shot between us, you said I was the only girl for you. But that was never something that was in your power to promise. You knew how I felt, what I'd been through."

My toe caught on a fallen limb, and I stumbled forward. Stomping angrily through the forest with my eyes closed probably hadn't been the safest idea.

Warm hands wrapped around my arms like iron fetters, keeping me upright. I shrugged, and he let me go, but I could still feel the heat of his body close behind me.

"Don't you hear yourself, Bella?" There was no accusation in his voice, only pleading. "You worry about some hypothetical girl who doesn't exist while I still have to share you with that goddam leech."

His words pierced my heart like a steel blade. "He's gone, Jacob! He has nothing to do with this."

"Doesn't he?" I could hear him pacing behind me like a caged animal. "He was in your room last night. He's standing between us every time we try to get closer. Hell, if he had never been in your life, you and I would be happy right now. Instead, you're pushing me away because you're too afraid to trust your own feelings for me."

This fresh accusation brought me up short. It wasn't my feelings for Jacob I didn't trust: it was my own rotten luck.

"You're afraid because you love me too," he continued. "Not in the same way you loved the leech. But I'm a part of you, Bella, and you're a part of me."

As always, Jacob had read me like an open book. I _was_ afraid of my own feelings. I was terrified. The very thought of one day losing Jacob had hit me like a ton of bricks to the chest, knocking the breath out of me.

I was never supposed to care this much. It felt like a betrayal, like I was turning my back on the person I had once vowed to love for eternity. Just because he hadn't kept his word didn't mean I couldn't keep mine, did it? If I let myself give up the ghost of the life -the existence - I had dreamt of with Edward, then what was it all for? I had been fighting that battle for so long, to give up now felt like surrender, and, no matter how much I wished things were different, I just wasn't ready.

"You're not wrong, but…it still doesn't change anything."

There was a long pause. For a moment, I thought Jacob had left. Then, I felt his warmth against my back, caressing my skin like a physical touch.

"So, what, are you…are you breaking up with me?"

The pain in his voice sliced through me as I heard my own words from all those weeks ago coming from his mouth. He sounded so young, so very like the Jacob I had hung out in the garage with, the one who had tried to hold my hand at the movies and let me play with his beautiful long hair. He sounded incredibly, heartbreakingly human.

"I'm so sorry, Jake." I fought past the lump in my throat to try to make my voice sound firm. I'd already hurt him enough. The best thing I could do for him now was let him move on, find his destined soul mate and be happy in a way that I never would be. "I'm too broken. I tried, but I…I just can't."

Forcing my gaze to remain fixed on the forest in front of me, I strode determinedly forward, hoping I was headed in the direction of home. A heartbroken howl cut through the quiet forest air, but I continued on. Every so often, a flash of brown fur would appear in my peripheral vision and I would have to readjust my course. Tears continued to silently stream down my face. I had long since given up trying to wipe them away.

This scenario felt all too familiar, yet completely different. This time, I was the one running away from someone who loved me, someone I'd hurt. I knew I would eventually have to relent and let Jacob take me home, but I wasn't ready to face him yet.

I wasn't sure how long I had been walking when a massive black wolf appeared soundlessly beside me, its glowing eyes soft and pensive. It was a wolf I recognized from that awful day at the Uley's when I'd seen Leah and Seth transform for the first time.

"Sam?"

He nodded once, then crouched down, much like Jacob had done earlier, offering me a ride home.

Instinctively, I glanced around me, looking for the red-brown wolf who seemed to have evaporated into the dense forest.

With a sad sigh, I climbed carefully onto Sam's back. His fur was a little shorter than Jacob's, coarser and more wiry. His scent was similar though, like wood and earth and fresh air. It was comforting, yet heartbreaking. So close, and yet so far from the comfort and love I craved with every molecule of my pathetic being.

I was so consumed with the task of holding myself together, that I barely registered any fear as we ran. Before I knew it, I was looking up at the back of my house and Sam was crouching down again.

"Thank you," I mumbled as I slid to the ground. "That's the second time you rescued me from being lost in the woods. So, thank you — for both times."

Sam nodded once, and I started to walk woodenly towards the house. A cold, wet nose brushed against my hand, stopping me.

I turned, and the Sam-wolf whimpered pitifully, his massive shoulders drooping as he glanced black into the dense woods behind him.

"I know. It isn't your fault." I gently reached out and touched his shoulder. "You did the right thing, making him tell me."

Those enigmatic eyes stared right through me, and I started to feel uncomfortable with this one-sided conversation.

"Bye, Sam," I whispered before turning and jogging as quickly as I safely could around to the front of the house.

I grabbed the spare key from under the eave and let myself in. Being home wasn't the relief I'd wanted it to be. The house was too silent, and reminders of both the men I'd loved and lost were everywhere.

My cheeks were soon wet again with newly shed tears. I needed to get upstairs to my room, to change into fresh clothes that didn't smell like Jacob. In my haste, I missed a step and caught myself with my hands, reopening the scape from when I'd found the loose floorboard the night before.

The memory sparked an idea, and I raced to the phone, hurriedly dialing the number of Renee's house in Jacksonville. _Please pick up, please pick up._

 _"_ _Hello."_

"Mom." My voice broke on the word, and I cringed, trying to pull myself at least somewhat together.

 _"_ _Bella? Honey, what's wrong?"_

"Nothing's wrong, Mom. I just…would it be all right if I came down for a visit this weekend?"

Renee was speechless for a moment before her enthusiastic reply came.

 _"_ _Of course, sweetie. Whenever you want."_

I did a quick calculation in my head. It was Thursday. If I found a flight out of Seattle late tonight or early tomorrow morning, that would give me roughly two-and-a-half days in Florida. Charlie probably wouldn't throw a fit if I missed school Monday, so that would make it an even three. I was scheduled to work at Newton's Friday and Saturday, but I would just have to call out. I was sure Mike would cover for me.

"Okay. I'm going to look at flights now. I'll let you know what I find."

 _"_ _We'll be waiting, sweetie. See you soon."_

After hanging up with Renee, I called Newton's to let them know I would need the weekend off, then headed back up the stairs, a little more carefully this time. I started up my ancient computer, then dug out my suitcase while I waited for it to boot up.

I threw a couple pair of shorts and a few tee-shirts in the open case and dug around in my drawers for the one bathing suit I owned while I listened to the grating tones of the dial up internet trying to connect.

At last, I was able to book a red-eye to Atlanta with an early flight to Jacksonville the next morning using one of the vouchers from Esme and Carlisle. I threw a few more things in my suitcase before jogging back downstairs to the phone.

I dialed Charlie's cell. To my relief, he picked up on the second ring.

 _"_ _Bells? What's up?"_

"Hey, Dad. I, uh…I decided to go visit Mom this weekend. Any chance you can drive me to the airport?"

There was silence on the other end of the line, and I could almost feel Charlie's concern radiating through the receiver.

 _"_ _Is everything okay, Bells? Do I need to worry?"_

"No! No, Dad, everything's fine." A sharp pang of guilt stabbed at me for making Charlie worry like this. The last time I'd run off to Renee's was still a sore spot for him. "I really do just want to go for a visit. I'll be back on Monday. I just…figured I'd better use the voucher the Cullens gave me for my birthday before it expires."

 _"_ _I thought they gave you two vouchers? Is Jake going with you?"_

I closed my eyes in frustration. Of course, he would remember that there were two, the other having been intended for Edward.

"Nope. Just me."

 _"_ _Well, why not take Jake along? Use the other ticket?"_

I wasn't ready to talk about this with Charlie yet. My vision clouded over with tears again, and I fought to keep my voice steady.

"Dad, I think I might need some time…away from Jacob."

Silence.

 _"_ _What did he do? Do I need to go over there?"_

"Nothing! He didn't do anything, Dad. It's just…me. It's all me."

Charlie sighed. I could almost hear him shaking his head.

 _"_ _Okay, kiddo. I'll pick you up in an hour."_

"Thanks, Dad."

My bags were packed and ready to go when Charlie got there. I'd been expecting the Spanish Inquisition, but all Charlie said about my falling out with Jake was "anything you want to talk about?" When I shook my head no, he let the subject drop, and we loaded up the cruiser in silence.

As the woods started to flash by outside my window, I couldn't help but wonder if Jacob was still out there, if he was okay. As if to answer my unspoken question, a piercing, heartbroken howl came from somewhere behind us. I squeezed my eyes closed, but there were no more tears. I had long since cried myself out.

"Poor beast," Charlie observed. "Sounds like it's hurt."

"I hope he's okay," I breathed softly before leaning my head back against the headrest, feigning sleep for the rest of the drive.

 **A/N: Don't shoot! This chapter was as hard for me to write as it probably was for you to read, but the characters wouldn't let me do it any differently. Don't worry, though. Their happy ending won't be too long in coming.**

 **For those who wanted Jake to imprint on Bella in this story, I have something up my sleeve I think you'll be pleased with in the end. I wanted to stick to canon on this, and, since Renesmee will never be born in this universe, Jake is right that he never will imprint.**

 **Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed the last chapter! Your kind words and encouragement are always greatly appreciated.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8: I Will Survive**

When I finally reached Renee and Phil's house in Jacksonville, I was dead on my feet. I hadn't been able to sleep at all on the plane, and I was beyond exhausted.

Now that I was here, I couldn't believe I had ever thought that putting distance between myself and Jacob would make things easier. Before I'd even arrived at the airport in Seattle, I'd felt his absence like a physical ache. The plane ride was torture, as I felt each mile that grew between us stretching the hole in my chest wider.

This was exactly what I had been afraid of when I first debated giving Jacob and I a chance romantically. Things hadn't worked out, and now I didn't even have my best friend, my sun, anymore. Between the original hole that he'd helped fill and the new one the rift between us had left, I didn't know how I was ever going to keep myself in one piece.

When my mother picked me up at the airport, I claimed exhaustion from flying overnight as an excuse for my moroseness, but I knew I'd have to answer her questions sooner or later. Still, her familiar upbeat demeanor and constant chit-chat about mundane things helped keep my mind occupied on the short drive from the airport.

I felt a moment of genuine happiness for my mother when we pulled up in front of the house. It was perfect for her, the kind of home I knew she'd always wanted. It wasn't huge, but it had two stories and a fenced back yard that backed up against a lake that glistened in the early morning light.

One of the three bedrooms had been designated my room from the start, and Renee was nearly bursting with excitement to show it to me. I mustered what enthusiasm I could as she showed me the private bathroom, complete with soaking tub, and the walk-in closet where I deposited my suitcase.

I really was impressed with how well my mother had taken my tastes into account when she decorated. Everything was pretty but not ostentatious. Simple. The bed was covered in a dove grey duvet that looked warm and inviting, calling me to crawl beneath it and forget my worries in the blissful oblivion of sleep.

Before I did that, though, I needed to call Charlie and let him know I'd arrived safely. Renee showed me where the phone was in her respectably sized kitchen with clean white cabinets and granite countertops. Everything she'd always wanted.

"I have to get ready for work, baby," Renee explained before leaving me alone with the phone. "Get some rest, and make yourself at home. I'll be back around four."

"Okay, Mom. Thanks." I mustered a semi-genuine smile for Renee before picking up the phone and dialing home. It was still nighttime back in Washington, but I knew Charlie would be waiting for my call.

 _"Bells?"_ he answered on the third ring.

"Yeah, it's me. I'm here."

 _"Good, good. How was the flight?"_

"Fine," I answered vaguely, though I'd been miserable the entire time. We hadn't crashed, though, so I guess that was enough to qualify it as fine.

 _"Hey, Bells…_ " He trailed off, but I could tell by the tone of his voice that we were about to have an uncomfortable conversation.

I groaned inwardly, but answered, "yeah, Dad?"

 _"Jacob called a while ago."_

"Oh?" was all the reply I could muster as my heart did a painful flip inside my chest.

 _"He…he sounded real upset, Bella. Said you broke up with him."_

I closed my eyes against the ache around the edges of the dual holes. "Dad, I'm really tired. Can we talk about this another time?"

 _"There's nothing to talk about, really,"_ Charlie replied, to my relief. " _Jacob just wanted to know if you were planning to come back."_

The line was silent for a moment as I absorbed this information.

 _"You are coming back, aren't you, Bells?"_

The uncertainty in Charlie's voice jolted me back to reality, and I quickly reassured him. "Yes. Of course, I am."

 _"You should give Jacob a call later today and let him know that. Poor kid sounded nearly frantic with worry."_

If I had any more tears left to cry, they would have been puddling around my feet by now.

"Dad, I…Would you tell him for me?" I asked, taking the coward's way out, yet again. "I just don't think I can talk to him just yet."

 _"I will,_ " Charlie answered, his voice taking on his rarely-used "dad" tone, " _but, listen to me, Isabella Swan. Don't you do to Jake what Edward did to you. He's your friend, he's my best friend's son, and he's a good kid. Even if things aren't working out between you two, you can't just disappear on him."_

Charlie was absolutely right, and the knowledge stung me to the core. I had left without giving Jacob any indication if I was ever coming back, and he was bound to be hurting. I was no better than Edward. Still, I couldn't fathom the idea of talking to him so soon. I needed time to put some of the pieces of myself back together before I could face him again.

"I'm sorry, Dad." My voice broke on the last word, and I wrapped my arm around myself as I'd done so often these past few miserable months.

 _"Don't apologize to me, kiddo. I'll let Jake know you'll talk to him when you're ready."_

"Okay, Dad. Thanks."

 _"Get some rest, Bells. Enjoy your time with your mom."_

We hung up the phone after that, and I dragged my tired body back to "my" bedroom, sinking into a deep, dreamless sleep as soon as I slipped beneath the pale grey covers.

* * *

It wasn't until Sunday afternoon that Renee finally snapped.

"Okay, Bella, that's it," she demanded. "You have _got_ to tell me what's wrong, or I'm calling your dad."

That got my attention.

"No! Don't call Charlie. I'm fine."

"Sweetie, you're clearly not fine," Renee argued, turning away from her view of the glistening lake to face me. "You've been moping around here almost as bad as you were when your dad called me to come get you last winter."

"It's not _that_ bad, Mom," I shot back.

"Okay, not _as_ bad," she conceded, "but I still think you should tell me what's going on."

I sighed, keeping my eyes focused on the sun's reflection on the water.

"When I spoke to your dad a few days ago, he said you had a new boyfriend," Renee prodded. "Did your sudden decision to come visit have anything to do with that?"

"Maybe," I responded hesitantly. "Okay, yes."

Renee shot me an eloquent look. I could tell she wasn't going to back down until I gave her some kind of answer.

"We broke up," I stated simply.

My mom stood and sat down next to me on the big lounge chair, wrapping her arms around my shoulders. "Aww, sweetie. What happened?"

I obviously couldn't tell Renee the whole truth, so I settled for the greatly simplified version.

"I'm just…not ready to move on, I guess."

Renee huffed. "Still hung up on Edward, huh?"

I crossed my arms, irritated at her flippant attitude toward the greatest loss of my young life.

"They say the mourning period for the end of a relationship should last about half as long as the relationship did," she stated, like it was an absolute fact. "So, you shouldn't feel guilty about moving on. In fact, you're overdue."

I surprised myself by actually laughing. "Where did you hear that, Mom? Your therapist?"

"No," she answered, looking a little embarrassed. " _Sex and the City_ , actually."

I rolled my eyes, but my smile was genuine. Even after only a few days away from Jacob, it felt strange to smile again.

"Do you think you're still hoping Edward might come back?" Renee asked after a moment's pause.

"No," I answered honestly. I waited for the familiar throbbing of the hole's jagged edges, but it never came.

"Do you think, maybe, you're just afraid to be hurt again? That holding on to someone who's never coming back might be easier than opening yourself up to someone who also might not work out?"

In a rare moment of motherly insight, Renee had hit the nail exactly on the head. I didn't have to give a verbal answer. The tears that immediately tracked down my cheeks confirmed her suspicions.

She rested her cheek on the top of my head as I sobbed on her shoulder, rubbing her hands gently up and down my arm.

"Sweetheart, learning to let yourself be vulnerable, to open yourself up to heartbreak, is part of being an adult. It's hard, but I know you can do it. You're stronger than you think you are."

I wished it could be that simple. "And what if I'm not?"

"Take it from someone who's been there more times than I'd like to admit, you _are_. Most people have to go through several heartbreaks before finding the right person." Renee paused, lifting my head gently from her shoulder to brush away my tears.

"But, my sweet Bella, when you do find the right person, it will all be worth it. Because you'll know that you could never have loved that person like they deserve if you hadn't gone through all the pain and loss."

I tried to muster a brave smile for my mother, but she didn't look convinced. A determined look crossed her face before she stood, pulling me to my feet with her.

"Come on," she demanded, taking my hand and leading me into the house.

"Mom, where are we going?"

She didn't answer, but I figured it out soon enough when she pulled me into her bedroom and shut the door behind us.

"Sit," she ordered, pointing to the bed. I sat down on her turquoise comforter and watched as she crossed the room to her CD player, rifling through her binder of CDs before pulling one out and popping it into the player.

I couldn't help but laugh as the first familiar notes of the classic Gloria Gaynor song filled the room, and my mom immediately started dancing and mouthing the words.

"No, not I! I will survive! Oh, as long as I know how to love I know I'll stay alive!" she sang, jumping up on the bed and pulling me up with her. "Come on, Bella! Dance it out with me."

"Um…dancing isn't exactly the safest of activities for me," I protested lamely.

"That's why we're on the bed, silly. Soft landing."

I laughed again and let my mother take both my hands in hers, pulling me with her as we jumped and danced around the king sized bed.

"Sing it with me, Bella!"

I was now laughing so hard, fresh tears were streaking down my face, but now they were happy ones.

"Did you think I'd crumble? Did you think I'd lay down and die? On no, not I!" I mouthed along with Renee, feeling my heart lighten with each word and each silly dance movement she pulled me into.

"Tell Edward, 'Now go! Walk out the door!' Like this," she led me, pointing with one finger towards the door while shimmying her shoulders. "Come, on, do it!"

I giggled again and mimicked her movements, singing along, letting myself go as we sang and danced to the remainder of the song. Exhausted and out of breath, I fell back against the pillows, belting out the last "I will surviveeeee!" in a voice I was surprised didn't shatter all the glass in the room. I didn't care, though. I felt freer than I had in months.

Renee collapsed beside me, and we giggled together until the next song started. It was _Survivor_ by Destiny's Child.

"Mom, is this a whole CD of breakup songs?"

"It's my 'get over it and move on' mix," she explained, and we dissolved into a fresh round of laughter.

I can't say I was miraculously healed by Renee's little dance intervention, but, when I went to bed that night — my last night in Florida — I knew something inside me had shifted. For the first time since Edward left, I felt like I had a choice.

The next morning, Renee and Phil drove me to the airport. Before I left to go through security, Renee slipped a small iPod and a set of earbuds into my hand.

"A parting gift from us," she explained, leaning in to whisper conspiratorially, "It has the 'get over it and move on' mix already loaded on it."

"Thanks, Mom, Phil." I smiled, giving them both enthusiastic hugs. "You really shouldn't have, though."

"Nonsense. Phil got two for Christmas this year, so we didn't spend any money. I promise."

Mollified by this explanation, I tucked the iPod into my carry-on before waving a final goodbye to Renee and Phil.

I listened to the "get over it and move on" playlist on the plane ride home, all the while wondering what I was going to do about Jacob. Would he take me back? Did I even want him to? Was I truly ready to give my heart to someone else, to be vulnerable, as Renee had said?

I knew, without a doubt, that if I were to give my heart to anyone, it would be Jacob. That was the easy part. The harder part would be earning his forgiveness for the way I had left things between us. I was still deeply afraid that one day he would imprint and leave me, but was conquering that fear, as Renee had said, just a part of growing up?

I wasn't any closer to finding the answers when my plane touched down in Seattle. Still, I knew, whatever the future held, I would survive.

 **A/N: Sorry about the lack of Jacob in this chapter! He'll be here next time as Bella tries to repair their friendship and finds a way to give herself some closure from her past with Edward.**

 **Believe it or not, your feedback does sometimes sway my decisions when it comes to parts of the story I'm still undecided about, so don't be afraid to give me your two cents! Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed the last chapter! It means so much.**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Hi, there!**

 **Before we get to the chapter, I wanted to thank everyone who reviewed the last couple chapters. Sadly, I don' have time to reply to each individual review and still get chapters written, but I appreciate each and every one. I did want to give kind of a blanket reply here though, since the events of the last couple chapters have sparked some really good discussion about the characters and their reactions.**

 **First off, I just wanted to remind everyone that I am committed to keeping the canon characterizations in this story. Canon Bella is incredibly frustrating and constantly hurts Jacob, which sucks, especially to those of us die-hard Jacob fans, but there you go. Also keep in mind that Jacob is a glutton for punishment where Bella is concerned and keeps coming back for more no matter how bad she hurts him. I've tried to find a balance here between keeping both of them in character and getting rid of some of the more frustrating things we Jake fans don't like about canon. (That's what FanFic is for, right?)**

 **Anyway, I love that so many of your are becoming invested in this story. It means a lot, guys!**

 **Enjoy this next chapter, and, as always, I would love to hear your take on how I've handled keeping these two frustrating babies in character, no matter how painful it is at times. ;)**

 **Chapter 9: Baby Steps**

Coming home to Forks was bittersweet.

The house looked exactly the same as I'd left it, yet something felt different. I felt different.

I walked straight to the phone as soon as I entered the house, immediately dialing the Blacks' number. Billy answered. Jacob wasn't home. It was his night to run patrols. I asked Billy to let him know I called, and he said he would.

Later that night, I opened my window and whispered Jacob's name into the darkness, but there was no reply.

I tried calling again the next morning. This time, Billy told me Jacob was asleep.

I drove to school with a heavy heart, feeling desperately guilty about how things had ended up with Jake and completely unsure about how to fix it. I would have driven to La Push as soon as school ended, but Mike said he needed me to cover for him at the store. He had covered the whole weekend for me, so I couldn't think of a good enough excuse to refuse.

That night, I left my window open again, hoping that Jacob would see it and know he was welcome.

As I was turning back the covers, my foot brushed against something soft pushed slightly under the bed. I reached down and pulled out the tattered remains of Jacob's tee-shirt from that day at Emily's. Miraculously, it still smelled like him. I held it against my chest as I soaked my pillow with tears, eventually crying myself to sleep.

I muddled through school again the next day, though my mind was preoccupied with wondering why I hadn't heard from Jacob yet. Of course, I knew the answer. I had finally done it. I had hurt him beyond repair, thrown his love and his friendship back in his face, and betrayed every ounce of trust he ever had in me.

As I sat in the midst of my happily gossiping friends in the cafeteria, my eyes wandered over to the vacant table where the Cullens used to sit. My chest still ached, but not in the same way it used to. Letting go of Edward would never be easy, but holding on was quickly becoming the more painful of the two options.

Holding on wasn't worth this. Nothing was worth this.

I drove home from school that day with my mind made up, my purpose set.

Charlie wasn't home yet, so I went straight up to my room. I popped open the CD player and snapped the disk Edward had given me into place in its jewel case, allowing myself only a second to study his neat handwriting, to picture the marble-white hand that had written it.

The two pictures of Edward were still lying on my desk. I picked them up, wondering briefly what Jacob had done with the half picture of me he had taken. I allowed myself only a brief moment to marvel at Edward's unearthly beauty, then tucked the pictures inside the cover of the CD case.

With my cargo in hand, I returned to my truck, starting down the familiar highway towards La Push. I felt a strong pull to my usual turn-off, the one that led to Jacob's house. Later. There was something I needed to do first.

I parked in the dirt lot just off the beach, tucking the CD case inside my raincoat as I started the trek up to the high cliff. My last trip here had changed everything, far more than I had anticipated the last time I made this climb. I hoped today would be equally pivotal, only, this time, I would be ready.

The weather was nicer today than it had been last time. There was a slight drizzle, but, every once in a while, the sun's rays would peek in between the grey-bottomed clouds. A light breeze played with the ends of my hair, cool but not overly cold.

I took the CD case out and cradled it between my hands, looking down at Edward's face as it stared up at me through the clear cover.

I took a brief pause as I thought about what I would say to him if he were really here in this final moment between us. After several minutes of deliberation, there was only one thing I could think of, only one thing left to say.

"I know you said it would be as if you never existed, but you were wrong." I took a deep breath and continued, steeling my resolve. "You _did_ exist, and it hurt so, so much to lose you. But…but now I'm finally ready to let you go."

I looked down at the pictures in my hands, tracing over Edward's pale features for the last time.

"You will always be my first love, but you won't be my last. I know that now. So…I hope, wherever you are, you're as happy as I plan to be, some day."

A lone tear-drop splashed onto the plastic surface of the CD case. I brushed it away reverently, knowing it was the last tear I would ever shed for Edward Cullen.

"Goodbye, Edward," I said finally, taking a careful step closer to the cliff's edge. With a final glance and a shuddering sigh, I let the CD case slip from my fingers, feeling the weight of all that the symbolic gesture took with it lift from my shoulders, plunging into the cold ocean below.

I stood there for an unknown stretch of time, letting the magnitude of the choice I had just made sink in. It was as if I had drawn an invisible line in the sand between my life so far and the life I would lead going forward, and there was no going back. I felt strangely liberated, lighter. Like I'd cast off a heavy burden I hadn't even realized I was carrying.

The sound of a twig snapping behind me broke through my pensive state. I spun around, fear that Victoria had returned for me once more sending a jolt of adrenaline coursing through me before I recognized my companion.

"Hey, Bella. What are you doing out here?" His voice was happy, welcoming.

"Seth, hi," I responded with a smile as he approached. "I was just…doing some thinking, I guess."

He stood next to me dressed in the characteristic cut-off shorts I'd come to think of as almost the pack uniform, barefoot, his hair shorter than when I'd seen him last.

"I come up here to think sometimes, too," he mused. He must have a lot to think about between his recent transition and the loss of his father, I thought, feeling deeply for this sweet boy who was forced to grow up too fast. "Anyways, I was out patrolling, and I caught your scent. Figured I'd come make sure everything was cool. Jake would kill me if I let anything happen to you."

The mention of his name was like water in the desert. I jumped on it eagerly.

"Seth, how is he? He hasn't been returning my calls. Not that I blame him."

"He's…" Seth took a deep breath, raking his fingers nervously through his cropped hair. "He's dealing," he answered diplomatically.

"Dealing?" I pressed, quirking an eyebrow.

"Well, he's been running some extra patrols to, you know, stay busy." When he saw that I wasn't going to be satisfied with that answer, he added, "when he's not at school or patrolling, he mostly sits in his garage and listens to sad country music."

I groaned, dropping my face into my hands.

"Oh, Seth, I feel so horrible."

"Yeah, we, uh…we all saw what happened between you two." He looked abashed, like he wasn't sure what he should and shouldn't say. "It was pretty brutal."

"Seth, I…I know I shouldn't ask you to betray the private thoughts Jacob is forced to share with the pack, but…do you think he can ever forgive me?"

"He loves you, Bella," Seth reassured me confidently. "I'm not betraying anything by reminding you of that."

I nodded, wishing I could believe that love would always be enough.

"If you love him too, you should try."

"Thanks, Seth." I smiled up at him.

"I should get back out there. See ya', Bella." He gave me a friendly smile before jogging towards the woods.

"Seth, wait!" He turned at the edge of the tree line. "Do you know where Jacob is now?"

"He's supposed to relieve Sam in a couple hours, so I assume he's at home."

I nodded. "I really appreciate it, Seth."

"No problem. Bye." With a wave and a cheerful grin, Seth disappeared into the woods.

* * *

My heart started to race as I pulled up in front of the familiar red house. A part of me wanted to sit here for a few minutes and collect myself, but I knew there was no way Jacob wouldn't have heard me arrive.

I grabbed the paper convenience store bag that held my woefully inadequate peace offering of candy bars, potato chips, and a six pack of Jacob's favorite soda from the seat beside me. It wasn't even a drop in the bucket towards making things up to him, but I figured it was a start.

After pushing the heavy door closed behind me, I paused, not sure if I should try the house or the garage first.

"Out here, Bella." Jacob's familiar voice came from the direction of the garage. He sounded apprehensive, and maybe even a little hostile.

I closed my eyes for a second to gather my courage. It's not like I had expected a warm welcome. At least he hadn't told me to get lost.

My eyes found him immediately upon entering the garage. I knew I'd missed him, but I hadn't realized just how starved for the sight of him I was until that moment. He was dressed in dark jeans and a fitted black tee-shirt. I so rarely saw him fully clothed nowadays, the sight was almost shocking, in the best possible way.

How had I not seen what was right in front of me for so long? Everything in me ached for him, wanting to throw myself into his arms and beg him to take me back.

I knew he wasn't ready to hear it, though. His expression was closed, and I could see the lingering hurt and disappointment in his dark eyes as he met mine for only a moment before looking away again.

"Hey, Jake," I said, breaking the stony silence.

"Bella," was his clipped reply.

"I brought snacks." I held the bag out to him. His warm fingers brushed against the tips of mine as he took it, sending a jolt of electricity racing through my veins.

"Thanks."

Again with the one-word replies. I could usually rely on Jacob to carry the conversation, but, today, he seemed to be putting the ball in my court.

He put the bag down on the workbench and reached inside, taking out two soda cans and the potato chips. I took the soda he offered me and was disappointed when our hands didn't brush again. He was as careful to avoid my skin as he was to avoid my eyes.

We both popped our sodas open and took a sip, the silence again descending as I tried to figure out where to start.

Jacob opened the chip bag and tossed a handful in his mouth. He held the open bag out to me, and I shook my head.

"Jacob, I…" I began hesitantly, suddenly more nervous than I'd ever been around him. "I'm so, so sorry I…"

Jacob's face clouded over, and he dropped the chip bag onto the workbench.

"Stop, Bella. Please." He turned his back on me, crossing the small space to lean against the side of the Rabbit. "I don't want to hear any more apologies."

My brows furrowed in confusion. If he wouldn't hear my apology, what could I possibly say? I needed to do nothing but apologize for the way I'd treated him.

"But, Jake…"

"You apologized plenty the other day," he continued, seeming to suddenly find his voice. "But your apologies always seem to end with 'I'm sorry, _but_ …'"

The pain in his voice was unmistakable. Tears began to prickle behind my eyes, and I had to take a deep breath to steady myself.

"I can't hear any more 'I'm sorry, but's,' Bella," he continued. "So, if you're just here to crush me again, you can save it."

"I'm not, though." My voice broke on the last word as the tears began to pool now, threatening to spill over at any moment. "There is no 'but' this time, Jake. I'm just sorry."

He still didn't look at me, but he didn't stop me again either. I set my soda can down on the bench before taking a hesitant step closer to him. He didn't retreat further but continued to study the dirt floor like it was the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel.

"I'm sorry I left without telling you. I'm sorry I didn't call." I took another step closer. "I'm sorry I hurt you. I'm sorry…that I don't deserve you."

I sniffled unattractively as the threatening tears finally spilled over, wetting my cheeks.

"I'm sorry I said all those awful things to you." Another step. "And I'm so, so sorry that I pushed you away for something that you have no control over, that's just a part of who and what you are."

I didn't know where all this sudden articulateness was coming from, but I was grateful. There was so much I needed to say to him, and I had barely scratched the surface.

He didn't stop me when I took the final step, closing the gap between us until I could feel the warmth of his body radiating towards me. I twisted my hands together to keep them from reaching out for him. Everything in me cried out to hold him close and kiss away all the pain I had caused, to press myself against his inviting heat and never let go.

I blurted my next words almost without thinking, my overwrought feelings suddenly crashing down, overwhelming me.

"I want you back, Jacob. I made a terrible mistake."

He looked at me then, his surprise leaving his expression open for a moment. In that split second of vulnerability, I saw hope in his dark eyes before he schooled his expression back into a closed mask. At least he looked less hostile than he had before. That was something.

"I know I don't deserve you though, so…I'll understand if you don't…" I squeezed my eyes shut as my voice trailed off, the knot in my throat closing against the words that would shatter my heart. Not that I deserved anything less.

"Bella," he whispered, lifting my chin with with heated fingertips. I so desperately wanted him to keep touching me, but his hand returned to his side. "I promised you I would never hurt you, and I meant it."

I gave him a small smile through my tears, though I was inwardly trying to stamp down the tiny spark of hope that threatened the last of my sanity.

"Maybe, we just…rushed into things too fast," he continued, looking down at the ground again. "I think we both need to take a step back, take baby steps."

I was frustrated with myself for being disappointed in his answer. It was more than I had any right to expect. I took a deep breath, letting his words sink in, and realized that I was happy, more so than I had been in days. Baby steps meant that we could try again, that we could start over and just be a normal teenage couple. Baby steps meant Jacob would stick around.

"Okay," I responded breathlessly. "Baby steps."

"Baby steps," he echoed, visibly relaxing.

I smiled, and he smiled back. A feeling closely resembling the old camaraderie between us started to seep in, making me feel like maybe there was hope after all. I was still terrified of a capricious universe magically taking him away from me, but I knew now that my fear wouldn't be enough to keep me away from him. I was still a glutton for punishment. That would never change.

"I, uh…should go home and cook dinner for Charlie," I muttered regretfully. A spark of an idea came to me, and I latched on to it hopefully. "You should bring Billy over, and we can all have a movie night or something."

"I have to leave for patrol soon," he answered, and my heart sank. "You should come to the bonfire tomorrow night, though."

My heart lightened a little. "Oh?"

"My dad will be telling some of the old legends. I think you'll enjoy it."

"Sounds great," I smiled, drying the last of my tears with the back of my hand.

"Can I walk you to your truck?" he offered.

"I think that would be an excellent baby step," I answered, throwing him what I hoped was a flirtatious grin as I started towards the exit.

Jacob smiled as he caught up with me. He surprised me by reaching for my hand, intertwining my fingers with his. This was something we had done often when we were just friends, so I guessed it still counted as a baby step. I squeezed his fingers as we walked, enjoying the contact.

I reluctantly released his hand when we reached my truck. He opened the door for me, and I turned to face him, letting my eyes rake over him one last time. I was struck anew by his beauty. How in the world had I been blind to the full extent of it for so long?

My eyes drifted over his handsome face, finally settling on those full, perfect lips. I remembered how it felt to kiss him, to have those lips and the warm length of his body pressed against me, and I wanted it with an ache that shocked and overwhelmed me.

Almost of their own accord, my hands found their way to either side of his waist, feeling the firmness of the muscles there beneath the soft fabric of his tee-shirt.

"Jake," I breathed, stepping closer, tilting my head back to meet his eyes.

He exhaled roughly before crushing me to him, lifting my feet off the ground in one of the familiar, crushing hugs he'd always given me. It felt amazing. I squeezed him closer, pressing my face into the side of his neck and inhaling deeply of his comforting scent.

I was a lost woman. I didn't know what the future held, but I did know that I was hopelessly, deeply, and life-changingly in love with my best friend in the world. Now that I was finally being honest with myself, I knew I had been for quite some time, and it felt more incredible, more _right_ , than anything I had ever felt before.

"See ya, Bells," he breathed against my hair before strong hands gripped the sides of my hips, gently but firmly setting my back on my feet.

"Bye, Jake."

I smiled up at him, and he smiled back. His expression was so bright, so luminous, it took my breath away. _My perfect, personal sun._

That night before bed, I had the urge to reread all my old favorite classic novels that had sat neglected on my bookshelf for months. I decided to start with _Persuasion_ after several minutes of internal debate. A love story with a happy ending — something I was feeling more and more optimistic about, lately.

I made it several chapters in before my eyelids started to droop. Just as I was pulling the blankets up around my shoulders, a soft, friendly howl floated in through the open window.

"Goodnight, Jake," I whispered into the darkness, smiling at his answering yip before drifting off to sleep.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10: The Third Wife**

As I dressed for the bonfire in La Push, a nervous energy I couldn't quite explain coursed through me, making my hands shake like I'd had too many cups of coffee. I'd done things like this with Jacob before, I reminded myself. No need to be nervous. And yet, the trembling continued.

The best explanation I could come up with for my jitters was that this was, in a way, my first actual date with Jacob. We'd hung out alone at one of our houses for most of the very brief time we had been boyfriend and girlfriend, and every outing before that had been strictly platonic.

This was the first time we were going to be out in public together as more than just friends. Even though we weren't technically back together yet, it was the first step towards getting there. I wasn't very experienced in such things, but I supposed that made this a date of sorts.

My wardrobe was sadly limited in the date attire department, so I made due with a flannel button-up and jeans. To compensate, I actually took two minutes to apply a little mascara and lip gloss. Most people wouldn't notice that I'd done anything different, but I knew Jacob would. Hopefully, he would see it as a sign that I was making an effort.

Realizing how pathetic that sounded, I wiped the lipgloss off and settled for my everyday strawberry chapstick.

Jacob was on the porch waiting for me when I pulled up at his house. He was actually wearing a tee-shirt again, a cobalt blue one this time. The vibrant color looked wonderful against his dark coloring, and I had to take a deep breath to slow my racing pulse.

I started to get out, but Jacob held up a hand to stop me. He jogged around to the passenger side of the truck and hopped in.

"Hey, Bells," he greeted me with a smile that was more hesitant than usual, but still warm.

"Hey," I replied, clearing my throat as my voice came out weak and hoarse. "Where to?"

He directed me to the parking lot near the trail head that led up to the cliffs, chatting amiably on the way about what we would be doing that night.

"We eat about a week's worth of food in one sitting, then my dad retells our histories," he explained. "I told you the greatly condensed version of the story, but there's a lot more to it. I think you'll have fun."

I smiled and nodded my agreement, happy to be invited into Jacob's world like this.

When we got out of the truck and started up the trail, I wondered if he would hold my hand again, but he didn't. I briefly considered reaching for his but stopped myself. I wasn't sure if he would see it as me making an effort or not respecting his wish to take things slowly. Before I could make up my mind, he was talking again.

"So, Seth told me he saw you up on the cliff yesterday."

I'd been wondering if and when I should tell Jacob about that. It looked like the decision had been made for me. "Oh? What did he say?"

"Well, he didn't exactly _say_ anything," he replied, tapping a finger against his temple. "Pack mind."

"Ah. How much did he see?"

"Not much," he answered, his eyes on the forest floor. "He heard something, though."

His face looked pained for a moment as he continued on, head down, up the trail. I fell a few steps behind, struggling to keep up with his long stride.

"Right after he caught your scent," he continued, "he thought he heard you say Edward's name."

Jacob glanced at me then, gauging my reaction. It pained me to see the hurt in his eyes, and I silently made a promise to myself that I wouldn't let my past with Edward hurt him ever again.

"Is that all he heard?" I asked.

Jacob nodded. "He was pretty far away, and you were whispering."

He looked away again, increasing his already brisk pace. I had to jog a little to catch up.

"Jake, wait," I called, reaching for his arm to stop him. He stopped, but kept his gaze over my head, his jaw visibly tensing under his russet skin. "Yes, I did say Edward's name, but what Seth didn't hear was that…Dammit, Jacob, would you look at me!"

I stood on my tiptoes to capture his face between my palms. When he did, eventually, meet my eyes, his were cold, hard, but now I could recognize this look as the mask it was.

"What Seth didn't hear was that I was saying goodbye to Edward," I finished, relaxing a little when the mask faltered and finally fell away. "I threw his pictures and the CD he gave me over the cliff."

"Why did you do that?" Jacob asked, his expression cautiously hopeful. My heart skipped a beat as he leaned a little closer, and I felt his fingertips gingerly brush against the sides of my waist.

"Closure," I replied simply. "My weekend in Florida helped me realize I was finally ready to let go of the past."

A small smile tugged at the corners of his lips as he leaned closer. My hands snaked around to tangle in the thick hair at the base of his neck while his burning forehead came to rest against mine.

"Am I right to assume that, given the conversation we had when you came to see me after, you found the closure you were looking for?"

"I think I did." I smiled up at him, letting my eyes drift closed as I soaked in the intoxicating warmth of his closeness.

Jacob sighed deeply, and his hot breath ghosted over my face. I half expected him to kiss me then, but, to my disappointment, he pulled back, putting a safe amount of distance between us.

"Good. That's good," he responded with a hopeful smile. I was pleased to see the pained mask was gone now. He looked like my Jacob again.

I smiled up at him, hoping to convey with my eyes how much I felt for him. He must have been on the same page because his eyes softened further, and he reached down to intertwine my fingers with his.

"Come on. Let's go," he coaxed gently, tugging me back onto the path.

When the glow of the bonfire appeared in the distance, I started to worry a little about how I would be received. Seth had said that the wolves all knew about what happened between me and Jake. Would they be angry? Would they think Jacob was making a mistake giving me another chance?

Sadly, I realized they would be completely justified in either sentiment. All I could do was prove with time that I really was serious about not letting my fears get in the way of what I had with Jacob.

I was a little surprised that I received nothing but warm welcomes all around, with only one exception. Leah Clearwater nodded curtly when I greeted her before moving away to take her place beside Sue, who was seated next to Billy's wheelchair. Her beautiful face betrayed no emotion, but I felt like she was carefully avoiding looking in my direction for the rest of the evening.

Quil and Embry descended on us as soon as we arrived, laying it on thick with the teasing and innuendo.

"So, you're back with this loser, huh?" Quil asked, draping one burning arm around my shoulders and tugging me away from Jake. "And here I was thinking we were finally going to get our chance."

Jacob shoved Quil forcefully in the chest, knocking him back several steps.

"Back off, idiot," he growled, but his amused grin gave away that he knew it was all in good fun. He snaked one arm around my waist possessively, pulling me into his side where I stayed happily until we'd greeted everyone and taken our seats.

I found my eyes drawn often to Jared and the girl Jacob whispered to me was his imprint. The way he stared at her! He looked like a blind man seeing the sun rise for the first time.

So that was what imprinting looked like. That was what I had to fear. The thought of Jacob ever looking at another girl the way Jared looked at Kim made my heart ache.

Feeling eyes on me, I turned and met Jacob's gaze. He looked a little surprised that I'd caught him starting, smiling bashfully at me as he speared a hotdog on a straightened out clothes hanger and handed it to me.

Jacob hadn't been kidding when he said they ate a week's worth of food. I'd never seen anyone put away so many hotdogs in my life. I lost count after Jacob's eighth, and the other wolves were just as ravenous.

Once all the food was gone, a reverent silence descended over the formerly boisterous circle. Without preamble, Billy began.

I was instantly inthralled. Billy's voice was low and soothing, and I found myself leaning forward, elbows rested on my knees, so I didn't miss a word.

My eyes drifted back to Jared and Kim every so often. She was wrapped up in his arms, her cheek pillowed against his chest. It was sad to think that, if I hadn't reacted so foolishly to Jacob's explanation of imprinting, we might be snuggled up similarly.

Afterwards, Jacob and I walked hand in hand back down to my truck. I was surprised and disappointed when he opened my door for me but made no move to get in himself.

"Aren't you coming?" I asked.

"I'm going to stay a little longer and then take my dad home," he explained, the hint of regret in his voice easing my disappointment a little.

"Oh," I responded, knowing my reluctance to leave him must be written all over my face.

"I'm really glad you came tonight," he whispered softly, stepping closer and taking both my hands in his.

"I am too." I craned my neck to look up at him, memorizing his features in the dim glow of the truck's interior light.

Suddenly, he tugged me to him, enveloping me in a warm, comforting embrace. I squeezed my arms around his torso as tightly as I could, knowing there was no way I could hurt him, and turned my face into the warm skin of his neck.

A shuddering sigh rumbled through him, and I felt his impossibly soft lips ghost over the top of my head before pressing against the skin of my temple.

"Night, Bells," he whispered against my ear, raising gooseflesh all over my body. "Drive safe."

"Goodnight," I breathed into his neck, inhaling his comforting scent one more time before making myself let go.

He offered me a hand to help me up into the truck, and I took it, however unnecessary, eager for any shred of contact. We said goodbye one more time before he closed the door behind me and turned back towards the trailhead.

Inspiration suddenly struck, and I frantically cranked the ancient handle that rolled down the truck's window, only getting it half way before it wouldn't budge any further.

"Jake!" I called through the small opening. "Wait a second."

He turned, an amused smile on his face. "Yeah, Bells?"

"I was thinking…maybe, going to a movie might be a good baby step."

His chuckle was warm, happy. "Sounds great, honey. I'll call you tomorrow."

Sleep, that night, wasn't easy to come by. The evening had given me a lot to think about.

When I did sleep, I dreamed about the Third Wife. It was the part of the story that had struck a chord with me the most, so I wasn't surprised when the dream began.

I was standing on the beach, my eyes fixed on her face as all fear vanished into courage and resolve as she realized that her wolf needed her and that there was something she could do to help him. No longer was she a weak, feeble woman. In that moment, as the blood began to stain the buckskin of her dress, she was a warrior queen, a heroine.

The vampire Taha Aki battled turned in a flash, but her crimson gaze locked on me instead of on the Third Wife. A strangled scream rose in my throat as I recognized the perfect marble face that stared back at me. Victoria.

I stumbled back as she approached, teeth bared and snarling hungrily. My fingers shook, and something metallic clattered to the ground at my feet. I looked down and saw a knife and several drops of blood rapidly pooling together into a large puddle on the rocky beach.

I woke with a gasp, my heart racing inside my chest. The dream had been so vivid, I could almost smell the tang of fresh blood lingering in my nostrils, and I fought back a wave of dizziness. I had little hope of going back to sleep after that.

The next day, I walked around like a zombie at school, exhausted by my nearly sleepless night. A sick feeling of foreboding pooled in my belly, making eating anything at lunch impossible. After the year I'd had, nobody paid much attention to my preoccupied state, except for Angela, who asked what was wrong. I brushed it off as a boat of insomnia the night before and made myself finish my soda.

By the end of the day, I was nearly desperate to talk to Jake. I hoped he was free for our movie date tonight. It was Friday, so I didn't see why not, unless he had to run patrol.

While I made a lasagna for dinner, I waited anxiously for the phone to ring, becoming increasingly frantic as the hours ticked by. If Charlie noticed my distraction, he didn't say anything, but I saw him throwing me concerned looks when he thought I wasn't paying attention.

I thought about calling Jacob myself. The idea was certainly tempting, but I held back, not wanting to pressure him if he wasn't ready to take the next baby step with me.

The sick feeling wouldn't go away, though. I couldn't shake off the conviction that something just wasn't right.

I fought it until Charlie excused himself to head upstairs for the night, then rushed to the phone. There was no way I was facing an entire night alone without making sure Jacob was all right, at least.

The phone rang several times before Billy picked up.

"Billy? It's Bella. Is Jake there?"

There was silence for what felt like an eternity before Billy answered. _"No. No he isn't."_

"He was, uh…supposed to call me. I just wanted to make sure everything's okay."

 _"I'm sure he's fine,_ " Billy answered, his sigh a sound of ancient sadness before continuing. _"Jake missed school today, and he hasn't been home."_

Panic was starting to wash over me. What was wrong with Jacob?

"Why? Billy, what's going on?"

 _"The guys ran across a fresh trail late last night,"_ he answered hesitantly. " _The redhead and two others they didn't recognize. They're all out there now. Hopefully, they can put an end to this tonight."_

My blood turned to ice in my veins. I almost dropped the phone my fingers were trembling so violently.

My nightmare was quickly becoming a reality.

Victoria was back.

* * *

The weekend passed in a dense fog of worry and fear. I hardly slept, and my appetite was completely gone.

Jacob called me once to let me know that they were still on Victoria's trail. He said he thought they were getting closer, learning ways around her clever gift of eluding capture, and that I shouldn't worry. They would have her in no time.

Despite his reassuring words, he sounded exhausted. I made him promise he would get some sleep before going back out.

"Sure, sure," he replied, in typical unconvincing Jacob style.

On Sunday night, I heated up the last of the leftover lasagna for Charlie, claiming that I had already eaten when he asked why I didn't have any myself. He had just taken his first bite when the phone rang.

Charlie answered, and I watched with growing alarm as his expression darkened into one of deep concern.

"Bells, I've got to go into work," he explained after hanging up the phone. "Think you'll be okay by yourself tonight?"

"What happened?" I asked, ignoring his question. He didn't want to know the real answer, anyway.

"I'm not sure yet, but…apparently, the bodies of a couple hikers were found just off the highway. I won't know more until I get there."

I gasped, a sinking feeling of guilt and fear dropping on me like a lead weight as I realized that those poor people had died because of me. Surely it wasn't a coincidence that people were turning up dead at the same time Victoria and her new companions arrived in town.

"Be careful," I pled with him as he strapped on his gun belt before making his way out to the cruiser.

I had to swallow back bile several times as I cleaned the kitchen. It was bad enough that Jacob was out there hunting a bloodthirsty vampire intent on revenge, but now Charlie was too. I couldn't live with myself if something happened to either of them or to any of the other wolves.

And to think, only a few days before I was worrying about my wardrobe and whether or not I should wear lip gloss, looking forward to starting my relationship with Jacob over as a normal teenage couple. Apparently, normal would never be in the cards for me.

I made my way slowly up the stairs, knowing that even attempting to sleep was an impossibility.

My bedroom was unusually bright for this time of night, and I walked across to the back window to look up at the full moon rising overhead, casting its glow eerily across the nighttime landscape.

A split second later, I felt the air in the room shift, and the hairs on the back of my neck stood straight up. A shiver ran down my spine as I sensed another presence in the room, though the lithe footsteps had made no sound.

"Hello, Bella." The voice was light, tinkling, almost childlike.

My blood froze in my veins as I spun around, coming face to face with my worst nightmare.

Victoria stood in the middle of my room, dark red eyes peering hungrily at me through the

curtain of her fiery curls.

"Vi…Victoria," I stuttered, trying my best to look brave, though I was sure she could smell the adrenaline coursing through me.

Her head tilted to one side, a pleasant smile revealing matching sets of dimples in her marble cheeks.

"Aww, you remembered," she cooed, taking another small step towards me.

"Of course," I answered, my voice barely audible as my throat constricted with terror.

Through the fog of fear, my mind quickly took stock of my options. Victoria was positioned strategically between me and the door to my room, blocking my only viable exit. Not that I'd be able to outrun her, regardless. My room had two windows: the one she had entered through, which faced the side of the house, and the one directly behind me, which faced the woods in the back. I could try to jump out the window behind me, but she would almost certainly stop me before I could. Even if I succeeded, the fall wasn't high enough to kill me, but enough to incapacitate. In any case, she would be on me probably before I even hit the ground. I didn't stand a chance.

At least she'd come on a night when Charlie was working and Jacob wasn't over, I thought. I wondered which one of them would find me, if she even left anything for them to find. I didn't know which option was worse.

"This isn't personal, Bella." Victoria's smile widened as she continued to slowly, deliberately narrow the gap between us. "Edward's mate or the dog's, it doesn't matter. I have scores to settle with both."

So she knew about Jacob. Edward was far away, out of her reach, but Jacob was out there, looking for her. What if she went after him next?

I was suddenly irrationally angry, at the beautiful angel of death standing across from me, but also at myself for being such a damned useless, weak human who could do nothing to protect the people I loved. I could only hope that my death would satisfy her and she would leave Jacob and the other wolves alone.

"Any last words?" she asked, stalking closer.

I drew in a shuddering breath and closed my eyes. There was only one face that filled my mind in these final moments.

"Goodbye, Jacob. I love you." My heart broke at the thought that I would never get to say those words to him now, that I had foolishly squandered my only chance.

I braced myself, holding the image of his smiling face in my mind as I prepared for death, hoping it would come quickly.

Suddenly, a furious snarl ripped through the air, and there was a tremendous crash. I flinched, waiting for the blow that never came.

My eyes snapped open, and I could no longer see Victoria. Russet skin blocked my view as Jacob placed himself between me and my attacker.

"Jake, no!" I shouted, quickly becoming frantic. "You have to get out of here!"

I wrapped my fingers around his arm, but quickly withdrew them. He was shaking violently, struggling not to phase in my far too small room.

I peeked around his shoulder and saw that Victoria had righted herself. There was a gaping hole in the drywall where Jacob had pushed her into it.

"Stay away from her, leech," he spat, the tremors increasing in strength with every word, "or I'll rip you apart with my bare hands."

Victoria giggled, and the sound was jarring in its inappropriateness to the situation.

"You may be stronger than a human, but you know you don't stand a chance against me in this form," she taunted. "And you know if you transform in this close space, you'll probably kill her yourself."

A snarl ripped free from Jacob's chest, and I shrunk back, pressing myself against the wall.

"Go, Jake!" I screamed with all my might. I couldn't watch him die. I just couldn't. I tasted salt, and realized that tears were streaming down my face.

"I would _never_ hurt her," Jacob growled," and I'll die before I let you get any closer."

The terrifying smile returned to Victoria's face. No, this wasn't happening. It couldn't be.

"So be it, mongrel."

The tremors rocking Jacob's body suddenly reached a fever pitch, and I braced myself, certain that he was nearing the end of his self-control. But I was glad. Now he would at least have a fighting chance. _He_ might make it out of this alive.

He let out a pained gasp and suddenly doubled over, his shape blurring and pulsing as his human groans transformed into canine snarls.

I braced myself for the explosion of fur and tearing claws that never came. As quickly as he had bent, Jacob stood before me again, the tremors now completely stilled.

I heard a delicate gasp, and my eyes flew back to Victoria's face. Her eyes were wide, confused.

Almost too fast for me to see, Jacob was on her.

Just a few feet in front of me in my small bedroom was a blur of snarls and growls, tan skin and marble white. They were moving so fast, I couldn't follow their movements, until, suddenly, they were still.

It took my brain a moment to process what I was seeing, but when it did, I almost came out of my skin.

"No!" I cried helplessly as I watched Jacob struggle to free himself from Victoria's stone embrace.

She had managed to maneuver herself behind him and had him on his knees, his arms pinned to his sides. Her bared teeth were poised at his throat, ready to deliver the final blow.

My eyes moved to Jacob's face, and I gasped. He looked…different. Terrifying.

His eyes were a glowing, furious yellow, their pupils elongated and animal-like. I could clearly see his long, pointed canine teeth as his lips pulled back over them, the growls flowing from his mouth distinctly inhuman. He actually looked like a werewolf now, the kind you saw in movies.

The sound of crunching bone and a pained cry jolted me back to the moment, and I begged again for her to stop.

"Don't hurt him!" I cried. "It's me you want. Take me."

A chorus of howls just outside the window distracted all of us for a moment, and I felt a brief flash of hope. The other wolves were here. Then, ice-cold water was dashed over my hopes as I realized there was nothing they could do to help. They couldn't come in here in their wolf forms, and they couldn't try to fight Victoria in human form.

I had to do something. There had to be some way I could stop her.

 _The Third Wife,_ something inside me prompted. My nightmare from a few evenings ago flashed through my mind, and I felt a small spark of hope. Maybe, just maybe, there was a chance I could distract her long enough for Jacob to get away.

Before I could follow that thought any further, Jacob rallied with a roar, breaking out of Victoria's iron grip, though one arm hung limply at his side. Their shapes were blurring again as they fought, and I frantically looked for something, anything sharp enough to cut.

"Bella!"

The sound of my name being called behind me caught my attention, and I turned to see Embry standing beneath my window, arms outstretched.

"Jump, Bella!" he called. "Hurry!"

Before I could even open my mouth to refuse, a broken, very human cry made my blood run cold. I spun around, and my heart all but shattered inside my chest.

Jacob's eyes were deep onyx again, his teeth returned to normal. Rivulets of bright, crimson red ran down his bare chest and dripped onto the floor below. Heartbreaking cries continued to reach my ears as Victoria's teeth found purchase again and again in the soft skin of his neck, her white hand yanking his head roughly to the side.

Acting on instinct, I threw my weight backwards, driving my elbow through the windowpane with all the strength I could muster. A searing pain told me that I had already drawn blood, but I quickly snatched at the biggest shard I could reach, driving it into the soft skin of my palm.

Blood flowed from my hand and down my arm, its rusty smell mingling with the smell of Jacob's in the air, and I started to feel the familiar wooziness encroaching.

Victoria's head jerked up as she smelled the fresh, human blood, and she released Jacob, who fell to the floor with a thud. She stepped closer, her bared teeth smeared with red.

Before she could reach me, burning yellow eyes appeared behind her. Jacob was on his feet again, blood pulsing from the gaping wound on the side of his neck.

So quickly it was only a blur to me, he plunged his elongated canine teeth into the side of her neck, his one good hand reaching up to tangle in the mass of red curls.

There was a deafening metallic ripping sound, and a split second later, Victoria's head rolled across the floor, coming to a stop a few inches from my feet, and Jacob stood before me, fully human again. His eyes met mine for a second, and his good hand shakily started to reach towards me.

I watched, frozen with shock and despair, as he took one step, then coughed up a bright ribbon of blood and collapsed.

 **A/N: OMG, this chapter was soooo hard to write! *wipes tears* I already have a good chunk of the next chapter written, so you shouldn't have to stay in suspense for TOO long.**

 **Thank you all so much for the feedback on the last chapter! It means a lot that many of you are getting so emotionally involved in this story. As always, your feedback would be greatly appreciated!**


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

I was dreaming. I had to be. Even with everything I'd been through in the past year, there was no way I could believe something so awful could be real.

Nothing I'd ever endured had come close to preparing me for the way I would feel when I watched Jacob crumple, unconscious, to the floor of my bedroom. Not being brutally beaten and tortured by James, nor being abandoned in the woods by Edward. Nothing.

The pain didn't come in the form of a hole this time. It was more like the blow of a massive battering ram hitting me square in the chest, knocking the breath right out of my lungs, crushing me.

I tried to call his name, but it came out a broken scream.

Before I was consciously aware of deciding to move, I was dropping to my knees on the floor beside his still form.

"Jacob…Jake, please." His name fell from my lips with a breathless sob.

Drawing on what little knowledge of first aid I had, I grabbed the first cloth thing I could find — a tee-shirt, I think — and pressed it against the torn skin of his neck.

Suddenly, there was another voice in the room, but I couldn't tear my eyes away from Jacob's motionless face, which was growing impossibly paler by the second, like someone had dusted his golden skin with a thick layer of ghostly white powder.

"Come on, brother. Don't die on me!"

Two massive hands overlapped on Jacob's blood-smeared chest, pressing rhythmically over and over again.

"We need to keep his heart beating so he can try to heal," the voice explained frantically, as the hands kept up their steady rhythm. "Keep holding pressure on the wound."

The shirt under my hands was quickly becoming soaked with warm, thick crimson, but I gripped it harder, willing what life-force was left inside him to stay there.

"Sam, what can I do to help?" asked another voice somewhere behind me.

"Take the carcass into the woods and burn it," Sam commanded, his hands continuing their steady rhythm.

"With pleasure," Embry, I realized it was, answered.

From the corner of my eye, I saw him lift Victoria's headless body and toss it out the window. A chorus of growls and snarls erupted below, punctuated by the sickening metallic keen of vampire flesh being torn apart. Embry followed the corpse out the window, the severed head tucked under one arm.

"Is he going to be okay?"

A third voice now, full of compassion.

"If we can get him to Sue quickly, I hope so," Sam answered, stopping his compressions as he inclined his ear towards Jacob's chest for a moment before starting again.

"I still can't get over the way he partially phased like that," the new voice continued. "I didn't even know that was possible."

"It's not," Sam responded, shaking his head in disbelief. "I don't know how he did it, but it gave him the edge he needed to stand a fighting chance in such close quarters."

"When I heard his mind and realized he was still in human form…it was so f'ing mind-blowing, man. He's such a badass."

I looked up at Seth then, giving him a small smile.

"He is," I agreed, turning back to Jacob. "He saved my life."

My voice broke on the last word, ushering in a fresh round of tears. It was a miracle I still had a drop of water left in my body, at this point.

"Jacob, please, _please_ be all right," I chocked out between sobs, hoping with everything in me that he could hear. "Please fight. Please! Don't give up."

Sam's hands disappeared for a moment. He was listening again.

"Seth, help me!" he ordered, gently pushing my trembling hands aside. "It's okay Bella. We've got him from here."

I sat, frozen on the floor, as Sam gently lifted Jacob's unconscious weight like it was nothing. Seth assisted, keeping the ruined shirt and Jacob's broken arm in place as they carefully maneuvered out the window.

Almost as soon as they disappeared from view, Embry climbed in, reaching my side in two long strides.

"Come on, Bella," he coaxed gently. "I'll help you out."

I tried to stand, but my knees buckled beneath me. The adrenaline that had carried me thus far was completely spent, my strength all but gone.

I went limp and allowed myself to be scooped up and carried out the window, not even caring enough to be afraid. The worst thing that could possibly happen already had. What did I have to be scared of anymore?

Once outside, I caught a brief glimpse of Jacob's unconscious body being draped gently over the back of a dark brown wolf my overwrought mind couldn't place. Seth jumped lithely up behind him, holding him steady as they took off in a flash.

Sam darted into the woods for a few seconds before returning as the massive black wolf.

"Can you hold on by yourself, Bella?" Embry asked as he effortlessly placed me on the Sam-wolf's back.

"I…I think so," I forced out, leaning forward and anchoring my fingers in the thick hair around Sam's neck.

The run to the Black's house must have only lasted a few minutes, but time seemed to have lost all meaning for me. Everything was muffled by a haze of shock and absolutely crippling despair. Jacob had to be alive. He had to be. He _had_ to.

Sam's fur was wet with my tears by the time Embry lifted me off his back in the front yard of the little red house that held so many tender memories.

"You okay, Bella?" he asked, trying futilely to steady my boneless form. "Bella!"

Embry's voice sounded like it was coming from the end of a long tunnel. I heard it call my name in the distance once more before everything went black.

* * *

"Bella? Come on, Bella. Drink this."

The kind voice was getting closer again.

I groaned as consciousness began to return, and my eyes fluttered open.

Several russet-skinned faces hovered over me, the dark eyes wide with concern.

A bright red soda can with a straw sticking out of it was thrust in my face.

"Drink this, Bella. It'll help."

I let Embry slip the straw between my lips and took a couple long pulls. The cool, sugary liquid did help. Within seconds, I was fully conscious again.

"Jacob!" I cried, struggling against several restraining pairs of hands as I tried to rise.

"Easy, Bella." It was Quil this time. His hands were warm and gentle as he helped Embry steady me. "We'll take you to him."

I nodded, feeling faintness threatening again as soon as I was vertical. Slowly, the three of us made our way down the narrow hallway. Bile began to rise in my throat as I wondered what I would find at the end of it. My imagination conjured a devastating image of Jacob's pale body laid out on his bed, arms crossed over his chest, his onyx eyes closed forever. The thought made me hesitate, but my two burly escorts didn't seem to notice.

When we emerged through the doorway of Jacob's tiny bedroom, I had to pause for a moment to process what was happening.

Sue greeted me first, smiling encouragingly, though her forehead was deeply creased with concern. Billy's wheelchair was parked at the foot of the bed, his black eyes fixed on Jacob's face as he rested his forehead wearily against a weathered hand.

Sam's broad back was facing me, hunched over in one of the chairs from the kitchen. A line of vibrant red flowed between his forearm and Jacob's.

Sam was giving Jacob his blood. My heart constricted with the deepest gratitude I had ever felt. A part of me wanted to run to Sam, to throw my arms around him and thank him over and over for saving Jacob's life, and, in the process, mine as well. But, right now, all I could focus on was Jacob.

"Is he.."

"He's alive," Sue answered, assuming an authoritative tone I'd often heard used in emergency rooms and doctor's offices. "I won't sugar-coat it, though, Bella. He lost a lot of blood, and there are no signs of healing yet. We don't know for sure that he'll regain consciousness."

My heart sank. I looked away from Sue's compassionate expression to focus on Jacob again. He was so heartbreakingly pale, paler than I'd ever thought he could be. I noticed a white bandage taped to the side of his neck and a dark blue sling cradling his broken arm.

"I stitched up his neck and set his arm," Sue continued, "to help speed up the healing, if he pulls through."

I nodded, feeling Embry's warm hands tighten around my arms as he continued to hold me upright.

"His pulse is weak, but it's there," Sue said. "All we can do now is wait."

The next few hours passed in a blur. Sue tried to convince me to return to the sofa in the den so she could stitch up my hand, but I became nearly frantic whenever anyone suggested I leave Jacob. I only vaguely remembered sitting at the foot of the bed, next to Billy, while she tended to my comparatively insignificant wounds.

It took a lot of convincing from Sue for Sam to allow her to disconnect the flow of blood from his veins into Jacob's.

"It should have been me," Sam protested brokenly, guilt and agony etched into the lines on his face. "I'm the alpha. I should have been the one to go in there."

The rest were fragments, like snapshots in my memory. Protests and kind words from both Sue and Billy. A few crimson drops soaking into the quilt as the lifeline was disconnected. A weakened Sam being nearly carried out by two of the others. More soda being thrust at me. Sue observing that Jacob's color was looking a little better.

I wasn't sure exactly how I got there, but I found myself curled up against Jacob's side, the one with the good arm. Over and over, I whispered his name, begging him to open his eyes, to come back to me, to fight.

It wasn't until Sue lifted the bandage from his neck, an elated smile lighting up her face as she announced that the wound was healing, that I let my eyes drift closed.

When I awoke, I felt completely disoriented, though the dizziness was finally gone. The early morning light streamed in through the window, showing me that Jacob's color had returned to normal, though he didn't appear to have moved at all. I pressed a lingering kiss against his stubbly cheek, pleased that it felt warmer now than it had before I fell asleep.

Several minutes later, I heard the phone ring in the kitchen and the deep baritone of Billy's voice answering.

There was silence for a few seconds before I heard Billy again.

"Calm down, Charlie. Bella's okay. She's with us."

Oh, my god! Charlie!

I sat bolt upright as panic began to set in. Charlie had returned home to find me gone, my window shattered, a gaping hole in the wall, and a giant pool of blood on the floor. He must be beyond freaking out.

"No, don't call anyone else. Just come over here. Someone will explain," Billy continued.

 _"_ _Well someone had better!"_ I could vividly imagine Charlie screaming through the line.

I hoped Billy and the others had some kind of plan. I didn't have the first clue how we were going to explain things to Charlie, and, with Jacob still not officially out of the woods, I just didn't have enough emotional or mental energy to come up with anything myself.

Twenty minutes later, as if on cue, my very red-faced father burst into the room, insisting I go with him immediately.

I clung to Jacob, refusing to be moved from my post at his side. Soon, the room was crowded with the hulking forms of Jacob's brothers, who eventually succeeded in calming Charlie down enough to agree to listen to their explanation.

"Let's take this outside, Chief Swan," Sam said in a tone that would brook no argument, even from the Chief of Police. "Quil, Embry, you too."

I saw Quil and Embry exchange mischievous smirks before eagerly following the others from the room.

When Charlie returned several minutes later, his face had gone from beet red to white as a sheet. He dropped wearily into the chair Sam had vacated, staring at Jacob's sleeping face like he was seeing it for the first time.

"Jacob saved you…from a vampire," Charlie whispered, almost as much to himself as to me. "He's a werewolf, and he saved you…from a vampire. They exist."

I pushed myself up on one elbow in rapidly growing alarm, the natural instinct to shield Charlie from the supernatural world rising inside me. "Wha…Dad, what are you talking about?"

"They showed me, Quil and Embry did. They showed me what they turn into." He shook his head back and forth, as if trying to wake himself from a dream. "I still can't believe it, even though I saw it with my own eyes."

The fight slowly drained out of me, and I leaned back against the pillow, my eyes returning like magnets to Jacob's face.

Charlie looked pensive for a moment. "Cullen? He was…"

I nodded, answering his unfinished question.

"No wonder I never liked the guy," Charlie muttered under his breath, his eyebrows pinching together. "You knew?"

I nodded again, shame filling me as my father learned the extent to which I had been lying to him for all these months.

Alarm suddenly transformed Charlie's features, his eyes growing wide as they flashed to my face. "Did that have anything to do with…No, never mind," he stopped himself, sitting back against the chair agin.

"What, Dad?" I prompted, hating the defeated slump of his shoulders, the helpless resignation in his expression. "You can ask me anything. I promise I'll be honest now." I owed him that much, at least.

Charlie shook his head. "No, Bells. I just…I realized there are some things I don't ever want to know about."

"Okay," I nodded, relieved that I wouldn't have to dredge up the parts of my past that were still painful to relive. The crescent-shaped scar on my wrist throbbed a little, as it always did when I thought about how it got there.

Charlie started to rise, then sat back down again, his eyes taking on a determined glint. "Bella, if you ever again feel like you're in danger, I want you to come to me. All right?"

"I will, Dad. I promise."

He nodded, accepting my answer. "Good, good."

I promised Charlie I would call him when Jacob woke up before he left to go back home.

A little while after Charlie left, my human needs finally forced me to, reluctantly, leave Jacob's side for a few minutes. After I finished in the bathroom, I started to go back to Jacob, but the sight of Sam sitting dejectedly on the living room sofa stopped me.

Sam's face was an ancient mask of pain as he sat there, hunched over with his elbows on his knees, head in his hands. Everything inside me was pulling me back toward Jacob's room, but I knew there was something I needed to do first.

"Thank you…for what you did for Jacob," I whispered once I was standing directly in front of Sam in the small room. "You saved his life."

He shook his head. "It's my fault he almost died."

"What? No, Sam. Of course, it isn't."

"I'm the alpha," he insisted. "As soon as I realized my commands wouldn't stop him from going in there, I should have gone in with him. _I_ should have been the one to distract the redhead, not you. I should be the one lying unconscious in there."

I sat down next to him on the couch, placing a hand lightly on his burning forearm. "No, Sam. None of you should have been in there. I never wanted anyone to get hurt for me. Besides, you have Emily to think about."

"And Jacob has you," he shot back, turning to look at me with a expression I couldn't read.

"It isn't the same," I responded, my voice barely a whisper.

Sam's brows pulled together, deepening the creases in his broad forehead. "I wouldn't be so sure about that."

"What do you mean?" I asked, perplexed by his cryptic statements.

He paused for a moment, shaking his head in confusion.

"It doesn't make any sense."

"What doesn't make sense?" I pushed.

"The bond you and Jacob share," Sam clarified. "When we realized the leech was in your bedroom, that should have been it. That was her plan all along, I think. She only needed to get into your room, where she'd figured out we wouldn't be able to follow. There were two others helping her, dividing the pack, leading us further away from your place."

There was a brief pause as Sam gathered his thoughts before he continued.

"Jacob somehow sensed you were in danger, which is why we were able to get to you so quickly. And then to bring out what seeing you in danger brought out in him…and you're not even an imprint. Well, it goes against everything we thought we knew about the imprinting bond and the purpose it serves to the pack."

"Jacob said it points out the wolf's soulmate," I prompted, my curiosity rising.

"That is, essentially, what imprinting does, but we've always thought the purpose was to give the wolf something to fight for, to make him stronger. Some do, anyway. There are other theories."

I fought the urge to prompt him again as he took a moment to collect his thoughts.

"It goes against all reason, all logic, that he was able to pull off what he did last night… and you're not even an imprint." He studied my face intently again, his eyes full of questions.

"Jacob definitely _hasn't_ imprinted," he finally continued, answering my unspoken question. "I've been in his thoughts. I know that to be true," Sam continued, "but the bond you share, the connection…it's very similar to an imprinting bond."

He watched me intently again before he continued. "You feel it now, don't you? Something pulling you towards him, like an invisible string?"

My head was spinning as each answer he offered only sparked a dozen more questions. "Yes. Is that…what imprinting feels like? Why would I feel it if it isn't…if he hasn't…?"

"I'm forming a theory about that," Sam asserted, sitting up straighter and gesturing animatedly with his hands. "You see, Bella, the few of us who have imprinted either didn't know our imprint before we phased or we just hadn't noticed her before, not in that way. The imprint was like the universe holding up a neon sign saying 'this is your soulmate.' But, with Jacob, he already knew you were his soulmate before he turned, so it's like the imprint was… unnecessary."

I studied the carpet intently as I tried to process what Sam was saying.

"I know you were upset when Jacob told you about imprinting, that you're afraid it could happen to him some day," Sam continued, "but, Bella, I don't think you need to worry. I suspect that, if you and Jake had met for the first time after he phased, he would have imprinted on you. He just didn't need to because he already knew what you were to him. The universe didn't need to point you out."

I wanted so desperately to believe him. Even though I had decided to be with Jacob regardless of what might happen in the future, my heart latched on to Sam's theory like a lifeline.

"But what about Leah?" I couldn't stop myself from asking, still a little afraid to let myself hope. "You loved her, and yet…"

"I loved Leah. Of course, I did," Sam responded, his face pained, "but…it wasn't the same as the way Jacob loves you. I loved her, but there was a part of me that was still… undecided."

I nodded, feeling a pang of sadness and empathy at the thought of what Leah had gone through.

"So, when Jake says you don't need to worry about him ever imprinting, you should believe him," Sam concluded, his voice strong and certain. "I don't think…no, I _know_ , he never will. He's already found his reason for existing."

Tears obscured my view of Sam's face, and warm arms immediately enveloped me, hugging me gently the way I imagined an older brother would.

"He'll be all right, Bella," Sam reassured me, patting my back lightly. "I can hear his heat beating. It's strong now, almost normal."

I pulled back slowly, wiping my eyes with the end of my sleeve.

"This was, what…the third time I've cried on you recently," I laughed slightly, and Sam grinned, shrugging his shoulders. "Thank you, Sam. For everything."

"This is what it means to be part of the pack, Bella," he explained, brushing off my thanks. "We take care of each other, and you're one of us now."

My heart swelled with happiness and gratitude. No longer was I adrift in a sea of despair and loneliness, feeling hopeless and inadequate. I had a home; I had a family. This was where I belonged, here, at Jacob's side.

When I rose to go back to Jacob's room, I noticed Billy sitting quietly at the kitchen table. He caught my eye and smiled, giving me a knowing look that said "I never doubted it for a second." I smiled back, then continued down the short hallway to Jacob's room.

I crawled into bed beside him, letting my fingers gently glide over the warm, soft skin of his shoulder as I rested my head on the pillow next to his. The heat radiating from him was a welcome relief. Any regular person this hot would have been burning up with fever, but, for Jacob, this was a normal, healthy temperature.

The slow, rhythmic pattern of his breathing was interrupted as he suddenly gasped and sputtered, regaining consciousness so quickly I nearly jumped out of my skin.

"Bella!" he gasped, his unbandaged arm reaching out wildly. I wrapped my hands around it, and the touch seemed to calm him instantly.

"Jacob, I'm here!" I reassured him, blinking away tears of joy and relief. "Try to be still, all right?"

His warm, onyx eyes locked with mine, and he reached for me, pulling me to his chest in a crushing hug.

"Oh, thank god," he breathed into my hair as I carefully returned his embrace, always conscious of his still-healing wounds. "I was so scared, Bella."

"Ssh," I murmured gently, pulling back just enough to see his face. "It's all right now. Victoria's gone. You're going to be okay."

He shook his head a little, wincing as the movement made him dizzy. "Not…me," he gasped out, his voice still a little breathless. "I thought…I might lose you."

"Oh, Jake," I sighed, reaching up to cup the side of his face in my palm, "me too."

"What were you thinking, Bella?" Anger made his voice stronger, clearer. "That stunt with the window…You nearly scared me to death, you crazy, amazing girl."

I laughed then, and a few tears of relief and joy trickled down onto his smooth skin.

"You're not the only one who gets to protect the people they care about, Jacob Black," I teased gently, poking him lightly in the ribs.

Jacob chuckled for a moment, then we both fell silent, the mood in the room suddenly becoming serious.

"I heard you, you know," he whispered, angling his head so he was looking straight into my eyes.

My brow furrowed. "Heard what?"

"You said you loved me." His voice was soft, reverent.

I scooted a little closer, draping one of my legs over his as our foreheads came to rest against each other.

"I do, you know," I breathed, stroking his rough cheek with my thumb.

"I know." His answer was immediate and full of conviction, like he'd known it all along. He'd just been waiting for me to realize it.

I smiled softly as I leaned closer, cupping his face between my hands, and pressed my lips gently to his burning ones.

As his happy sigh vibrated through me, beautiful pictures flashed in front of my mind's eye, and, for a brief, blissful moment I saw the future, the _life_ , that I was choosing as clearly as I could see Jacob's face before me now.

I could see Charlie and Renee mixed into a strange and wonderful collage with Billy and Sam and La Push. I could see years passing, and meaning something as they passed, changing me. I could see the enormous red-brown wolf that I loved, always standing protector if I needed him. For the tiniest fragment of a second, I saw the bobbing heads of two small black-haired children running towards me, their little arms outstretched as I reached out to them.

My eyes fluttered open and met Jacob's. I thought about asking if he'd seen it too, but I didn't need to. His gaze was filled with a dark fire that burned through me, marking me, sealing the future I had seen as if in stone.

I sighed as his strong arm bowed my body against his, and with a conviction that almost startled me, I knew deep in my bones, that I would never be cold again.

 **A/N: Whew! This chapter was tough to write. Next up is the epilogue. Or epilogues. I actually have more than one planned, and I think I'll post them all here instead of as one-shots, so stay tuned! Next time, we'll learn more about what happened to Jacob when he partially phased during the fight with Victoria, plus the M rating will finally be earned. ;)**


	12. Chapter 12

_"He's more myself than I am. Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same."_

 _\- Emily Bronte,_ Wuthering Hights

Epilogue: Only the Beginning

I adjusted my graduation cap into place atop the soft curls Renee had painstakingly styled as I listened to Jessica gush about colleges and first apartments. Having decided to take a gap year before leaving for school, I didn't really have a lot to add to the conversation. My senior year hadn't exactly been a banner one, and I'd fallen woefully behind in making my college plans.

In the end, I'd decided to live with Charlie for another year, work, and save as much money as I could. Charlie had asked around and found me a job assisting in the administrative offices at the high school, and I would still work at Newton's on the weekends.

Jacob was ecstatic that I wouldn't be leaving just yet. He was working around the clock catching up on his studies and trying to get ahead, just in case, he said. The school was more than willing to work with the pack brothers, and had even said he could graduate early if he went to summer school and took on some self-guided studies.

I'd never seen Jacob so enthusiastic about his school work before and couldn't help but wonder if it had anything to do with wanting to be free to go away to college with me. I certainly hoped so.

Speaking of Jacob, things in that department had been better than good since Victoria's defeat. He had recovered from his injuries in only a few days, to my tremendous relief, and was back to his old sunshiny self. We'd spent every possible waking moment together. And most of the sleeping ones too, if I'm being honest.

I left my window open every night when I went to bed, and every night he came, even if just to kiss me goodnight if he was on patrol.

Despite my happiness, nightmares continued to plague my nighttime hours. Only this time, they were more like memories of a very real, waking nightmare that I was forced to relive whenever I closed my eyes. I would wake up screaming Jacob's name, and he was always there, holding me close and reassuring me that he was there, that he would never leave me.

To reassure myself that he was there, perfect and whole, I would often start lavishing his neck with kisses, tracing my tongue gently over the faint pucker of a scar that never fully healed. This would inevitably lead to him pulling me impossibly closer in the darkness, his hands finding my bare skin beneath my pajamas, driving the last vestiges of the nightmare away with the searing heat of his touch.

I could feel a warm blush creep up my chest all the way to my hairline at the memory, and I tugged at the neck of my graduation gown in an attempt to fan myself. With every kiss and every caress, I felt closer and closer to combusting.

I thought about the pack of little white pills tucked inside my purse and the lacy black panties hidden under the wrap dress Renee had picked out and blushed further. I was ready, emotionally and practically, to take things to the next level with Jacob. I could only pray that, when the moment came, I wouldn't lose my nerve.

My turn to walk across the stage and leave high school behind me for good had arrived. As if pulled by magnets, my eyes immediately found Jacob in the crowd, standing with Renee and Charlie, an infectious, cheesy grin on his face as he cheered me on.

As soon as I was free, I rushed straight into his waiting arms.

"Congratulations, beautiful," he gushed as he spun me around a couple times.

I couldn't help but laugh at his exuberance. Jacob brought pure, brilliant light everywhere he went, illuminating even the darkest corners of my life. I couldn't remember ever smiling as much as I had in the past couple months since his recovery. I'd never felt more alive or more free.

Afterwards, we all went to dinner at Forks' only real restaurant. I sat between Jacob and Charlie with Renee and Billy across from us. Jacob's warm hand rested on my knee throughout dinner, only moving when he needed both hands to cut his steak.

My mom adored Jacob already and made no secret of her approval. In fact, the prettier than normal underwear I was sporting had been her gift as well, though I had picked them out. They were just frilly enough to be special without being overly showy or ostentatious. They felt like me at my sexiest, and I was counting on that fact to give me the courage to follow through with my plans for the night.

Just before we left the restaurant, Jacob pulled a tiny wrapped box out of his pocket, placing it on the table in front of me.

"Your graduation present," he announced, gesturing for me to open it.

"Jake," I whined a little, still no more comfortable with gifts than I'd ever been. "I told you I didn't want you to buy me anything."

"I didn't," he answered proudly, pushing the little box closer to me. "It's something I made. Well, mostly."

A homemade gift was right up my alley. Jacob knew me so well.

I tore eagerly at the wrapping, gasping in awe as a tiny carving of a wolf attached to a silver charm bracelet dropped into my palm.

"Oh, Jake, its…You made this?"

"Dad taught me how," he answered with a nod in Billy's direction. "You like it?"

"Like it? I love it, Jake! I'll always wear it." I reached for the clasp, but Jacob's hands were quicker, taking it gently from me and fastening it on my wrist, where it would stay for years and years.

"I'll add to it, too, until it's full." He adjusted the chain so that the little wolf was perched on top of my wrist, his fingers lingering on my skin just a second longer than necessary.

I proudly showed his handiwork to Renee, though she was the only one at the table who couldn't understand the significance of the wolf. To my surprise, Charlie looked like he was in danger of tearing up for a moment before he quickly regained his composure. His gratitude after learning what Jacob had done to protect me was the only thing, besides any mention of my mom leaving Forks, that brought out Charlie's emotional side.

Jared, Paul, and Leah had also graduated today, so the pack was throwing a party on the beach to celebrate. Jacob had insisted we at least make an appearance, and I had, uncharacteristically, agreed without resisting. It was the perfect excuse to stay out later than usual without my dad suspecting anything.

I rode with Jacob and Billy back to La Push, where we dropped Billy off at home before heading down to First Beach. My heart immediately did a little tab dance inside my chest when I got my first good view of the party. I had expected only the pack, Emily, and Kim, but it looked like the entire student body of La Push high school was there. There were two massive bonfires glowing in the light from the full moon and several kegs set up around them. Worst of all, music boomed from the open door of a vehicle, and most of the partygoers were happily swaying to it between long pulls from their red Solo cups.

Jacob noticed my hesitation and was quick to reassure me.

"I know this isn't exactly your scene. We'll just stay for few minutes then jet."

"Sounds good to me," I responded, comforted by the warmth of Jacob's hand as it wrapped around mine.

I ended up being surprised by how comfortable I felt partying with the La Push crowd. It was like I belonged here in a way I had never experienced before, and I was able to let my guard down and actually enjoy myself. All of the pack members were warm and welcoming, even Leah, who was in an uncharacteristically friendly mood. Jacob raised his eyebrows when I accepted a red Solo cup from Quil, who cheered me on when I down the contents in one long pull. I'd never been much of a drinker, but the little boost of liquid courage turned out to be just what I needed to actually want to do something even more out of character for me: dancing.

Jacob looked shocked when I tugged on his hand, leading him to the edge of the cluster of gyrating bodies.

"Bells, what's gotten into you tonight?" he asked as I stepped close to him, leaning up on my toes to wrap my arms around his neck. "Not that I'm complaining."

I shrugged, smiling up at him as the warmth of his body soaked through my coat, making the butterflies in my stomach flutter even faster. "Just…riding the graduation high, I guess."

Jacob only smiled and wrapped his arms around my waist, stooping low to press his forehead against mine. Our feet barely moved in the rocky sand as we swayed together, too slowly for the type of music that was playing. My fingers found their way into his soft hair, lightly massaging his scalp as his dark eyes searched mine intently.

The song ended, and a slow song came on. Jacob pulled me closer then, tucking my head under his chin as I nestled against him. I could feel his heart beating under my cheek, his warm breath against my hair.

Love and contentment like I had never felt before washed over me as I held him even closer, my eyes threatening to fill as I thought about how close I'd come to missing this. To missing him.

In a sudden moment of clarity, I understood the reason why the universe would bring someone like Edward into my life, only to cruelly rip him away. For the first time since the Cullens left, I was grateful. I wouldn't trade the pain and heartache I had gone through for anything, because without it, I couldn't appreciate the happiness I now had with Jacob half as much. If Edward had never come into my life, I would have loved Jacob, yes, but a part of me would have taken his love for granted.

Losing Edward had taught me to let go, to know that I could survive the unsurvivable, and to give love without limits, without fear. Edward had introduced me the supernatural world, so that I could not only accept but love what Jacob was. I understood what a blessing it was that I could stand beside Jacob and feel like I belonged there, exactly as I was, because I had never had that with Edward.

I'd survived Edward's crushing betrayal and was a stronger person for it. I loved the person — the woman — that dark time had made me, and I wouldn't trade her for anything. Not even immortality.

I tilted my head back so that I could see Jacob's face, his smooth, tan skin glowing in the flickering light of the bonfire. Every inch of my body was pressed against his, and I could feel the muscles moving beneath his clothes as we swayed together. He was looking down at me in the most adoring way. I took a deep breath, letting his comforting scent and the heat of his gaze make me bold.

"I want to go somewhere," I whispered. My voice sounded rough, needy.

"Anywhere you want." His hands slipped down my hips just slightly, making my head spin as wave after delicious wave of desire pulsed through me.

"Let's go back to that place you showed me…with the waterfall."

He nodded, looking suddenly as eager as I was. "Okay."

I sighed at the loss of warmth as his arms released me just long enough to lace his fingers with mine. Jacob look around quickly before leading me in the direction of the forest. We slipped, unnoticed, into the dense cover of the trees.

Despite the fullness of the moon, my human eyes were nearly useless in the dark forest. Jacob immediately scooped me up, carrying me bridal style until the sounds of the party faded into the distance.

When he placed me on my feet again, his expression was apprehensive.

"Honey, I want to show you something," he began, taking both my hands in his, "but I don't want to scare you."

"I could never be scared of you," I reassured him, though his words did cause a little knot of apprehension to coil in my belly. "What is it?"

"Remember when Victoria was in your room? How I…transformed?"

How could I ever forget? I nodded, and he continued.

"I've been trying, ever since, to figure out how to do that again, and I've finally got it," he explained. "I've been trying to teach the other guys. Sam's the only one, so far, who had enough control to stop the transformation half way like that."

My eyebrows shot up to my hairline. "Sam can do that too now?"

Jacob nodded.

"And you can do…that…anytime you want?"

"Yeah," he answered, smiling enthusiastically. "It's great, Bells. I can run just as fast as I can in wolf form without having to fully change."

He took several steps back, dropping my hands, and started opening the buttons on his shirt before sliding it off.

"I look pretty hideous in that form, though, so don't be scared."

I opened my mouth to respond, but Jacob had already started the transformation.

His eyes were closed tightly, his forehead wrinkled in deep concentration. After a moment, the tremors started, first in his hands, then spreading up his arms and over his entire body.

I watched, transfixed, as a deep growl rumbled up from his vibrating chest and the already defined muscles of his torso swelled just a little bigger. He seemed to grow taller in front of my eyes. Suddenly, he hunched forward, roaring in pain as his mouth dropped open, the gleaming canine fangs in so vividly remembered closing over Victoria's marble white neck descending.

After an eternity that could only have been a few seconds, he straightened again. The eyes that met mine were bright, glowing yellow.

Jacob didn't approach, but waited for me to come to him, his face still apprehensive, afraid this would finally be too much for me. But fear was the furthest thing from my mind, in that moment.

I took a step in his direction, and an unseen tree root nearly sent me plummeting to the dark forest floor. In a blindingly fast movement, Jacob's strong hands caught me, steadying me on my feet.

I looked up into his fiery eyes, and my breath caught in my throat. Carefully, I raised my hand to his face, brushing lightly over the skin of his jaw before tracing the pad of my thumb down the length of one gleaming canine.

His blissful sigh gave me courage. I pushed up on my toes, nearly climbing up his tall body to reach his lips.

Jacob gasped at my sudden movement, but didn't push me away. I could feel the careful control behind his touch as he held me against him, aware of his increased strength in this form. His kiss started out tentative, but quickly escalated in passion as I slipped my tongue between his lips to trace the same path my finger had taken over his elongated fangs.

"You're not hideous at all," I breathed against his lips as we parted, cupping his face between my hands. "Dare I say you're sort of…beautiful?"

A throaty laugh escaped him as I repeated my words from all those months ago, and he rolled his golden eyes.

He reached for me, and a split second later I was on his back, my arms and legs wrapped tightly around him. I buried my face in his neck as we flew through the dark forest, my eyes squeezed tightly shut as I focused on the warmth of his skin and his even inhales and exhales to keep me from panicking.

In less than a minute, I felt the air grow still around us. We were there.

The falls were even more breathtaking in the moonlight. I stood in awe as Jacob carefully placed me on my feet before shifting back to normal. His arms wound around me from behind, and I leaned into them, feeling the dual sensations of the chilly mountain air on my front and the heat of his body against my back.

Drawing in a deep breath, I turned in his arms until we were facing each other and stepped out of my ballet flats, letting my toes sink into the cushiony moss.

"Will you keep me warm?" I asked, my voice trembling with a combination of nerves and excitement.

"Always," was his confident reply.

Steeling my resolve, I moved my trembling fingers over the buttons of my coat, opening them one by one before letting it fall to the moss-covered ground behind me. The cold air immediately chilled me through my thin dress, but Jacob took a step closer, resting his warm hands on my shoulders.

"Bells…" he breathed as I tugged the tie at the side of my waist and let my wrap dress fall open, my pale skin glowing in the moonlight.

I shrugged my shoulders, and Jacob immediately moved to help me slide the silky material off, where it drifted, unheeded, to the ground.

"God, Bella," he whispered almost reverently, letting his eyes dance over my exposed skin for only a moment before pulling me to him, pressing every inch of me against his body so I wouldn't feel the cold. "You're so, so beautiful."

For a long moment, we just stood there, taking in the incredible feeling of skin pressing against heated skin for the first time. Our hands weren't idle, though. His slipped reverently over my back, venturing down over my hips and the swell of my backside, cupping me gently over the smooth lace of my panties. I mirrored his movements, and he groaned against my hair, his hands becoming bolder as they found their way beneath the lace.

I pulled back just enough to reach Jacob's lips with mine. We kissed slowly, languidly, every movement a promise of what was to come.

I felt him tremble in my arms, and the feeling made me bold. I felt powerful and desirable in a way that I'd never imagined I could.

My hands slid down over his smooth chest, tracing over the firmness of his stomach before reaching the button of his jeans.

"You sure, Bells?" he asked breathlessly, his chest rising and falling faster now than it had before.

"I'm sure. I…I mean…are you?" I stuttered, wondering where confident Bella had suddenly run off to.

Jacob's answer was immediate, coming almost before the words had fully left my mouth.

"I'm sure," he said confidently, leaning down to capture my lips again.

As we kissed, I carefully worked the opening of his jeans, slipping the button open before slowly sliding the zipper down.

Jacob continued to kiss me as he stepped out of his shoes and kicked them aside along with his jeans. I stepped closer to him, and we both gasped simultaneously as the heat of his erection pressed against my stomach.

Fire blazed through my veins as I tugged at his shoulders, his hair, anything to pull him even closer. Our kisses deepened, becoming fast and needy where they had been slow and reverent.

My back ached a little from being so deeply bowed against him, but I couldn't care. All I could focus on was the smoothness of his heated skin against mine and the taste of him on my tongue. I squeezed my thighs together as the ache there became nearly unbearable, every nerve ending in my body crying out for his touch.

Confident fingers found the clasp of my bra and flicked it open. A fleeting chill tickled my skin as Jacob put only enough distance between us to slide the straps down my arms and off.

A warm blush crept all the way from my hairline down to my newly exposed chest. I watched his face for any sign of disappointment but found only awe.

"So perfect," he whispered softly, wrapping one arm loosely around my waist as the other hand traced a torturously slow path up my side, sliding over my ribcage, until it finally reached the aching flesh no one but myself had ever touched before.

I'd never expected it to feel so good, him touching me there. It was blissful and torturous at the same time, soothing one ache while causing another to climb even higher. He gently rolled the sensitive tip between his thumb and forefinger, and I couldn't stop myself from whimpering needfully.

"Jake, please…"

With a groan, he wrapped both arms around me fully, pulling me flush against him before lowing me onto my discarded coat.

The heat was everywhere as he hovered over me, supporting most of his weight on one arm while he kissed me with a passion that left me breathless. His free hand traced an achingly slow path over my chest and belly, down over my lacy panties, then up again, teasing the parts of me that craved his touch most with fleeting, feathery touches.

When his lips moved down my neck and over my chest, I started to gasp his name in a breathy voice that I hardly recognized as my own. His warm mouth closed over one hardened tip, and my eyes fluttered closed at the heavenly feeling. I threaded my hands into his soft hair, holding him to me as our legs tangled together on the mossy ground.

Too soon, he raised his head again, his eye searching for mine. What I saw in his dark gaze made my heart skip a beat.

"Jake?" I gasped, feeling suddenly impatient and wondering why he'd stopped.

"Keep looking at me, baby," he whispered, his voice a sensual rasp. "I want to see your face when I touch you for the first time."

I could only whimper in response, my breath coming in shallow gasps as he gently nudged my legs apart with his knee. The hand that was resting on my belly trailed slowly down, down, teasing the edge of the lace. His chest heaved as he drew in a deep breath before continuing, brushing his fingers lightly over a spot that sent a jolt of pure pleasure rushing through me.

"Oh!" I gasped out, fighting to keep my eyes on his like he'd asked. I needed him to know how good, how incredible, it felt. Surely I would die if he didn't keep touching me like that.

"Feels… good," was the most coherent response I seemed capable of at the moment. His fingers brushed over me again, tentative, watching my face intently for my response.

My head lolled back as I gasped at the torturously intimate sensation, and I arched my back, reaching out blindly with my hands until they found the solidness of his shoulders.

Feeling an almost desperate need to see the passion in his eyes again, I forced mine open, lifting my head to meet his gaze. He was trembling. Not like he did when he was about to phase, but like any teenage boy touching his girlfriend intimately for the first time. His eyes mirrored back the same overwhelming mix of excitement and nerves that I was feeling, and I felt my courage surge again as I looked into them.

Careful to keep my lower body still so he could continue his gentle exploration, I pushed up on one elbow, wrapping my free arm around his neck as I kissed him with all the passion and love I felt in that moment. His fingers slipped a little lower as he pressed me into the fabric of my coat, his tongue slipping past my lips as he carefully found my entrance.

Of their own accord, my hips pushed up against his hand, giving him permission to explore further, demanding it. I felt like I would explode if he stopped now.

One long, burning finger slid into me, and I felt my face grow hot as I realized just how soaked I was. I knew he could feel it too, my body's most intimate response to his touch. A deep, low moan vibrated against my chest where it was pressed against his, and I let my hands slip down the slick skin of his back, teasing over his hips and down his muscled thigh.

His whimpers grew louder the closer my fingers came to their destination, the pace of his finger sliding in and out of me steadily increasing, causing the most delicious pressure to coil deep inside.

"God, baby, please touch me," he plead, breaking our kiss just long enough to gasp out the words. "I mean…if you want to. You don't have…"

"I want to," I interrupted him, searching for his lips again.

His helpless sigh of anticipation warmed my mouth as my fingers drifted closer, closer, finally brushing over the hottest, softest skin on his body. His hips bucked against my hand, and I ventured another gentle stroke along the length of him, curious, but completely unsure of what I was doing.

"Tell me if I'm doing it wrong, okay?" I whispered timidly, letting my fingers wrap carefully around him.

"Not possible," was his instant reply.

Mustering my confidence, I stroked him lightly, incrementally increasing the pressure as his responses told me he was enjoying my touch. I pressed my forehead against his neck, trying to be stealthy as I stole a glance down between our bodies. He was bigger than I had imagined in my naiveté, and so much more beautiful.

My rhythm faltered as he slowly slid a second finger into my core. The slight stretching sensation was foreign, but also incredibly satisfying. Watching my face intently for any sign of pain, he ventured deeper, curling his fingers until he hit a spot that made me see stars.

"Oh, god!" I cried, catching a fleeting glimpse of his self-satisfied smirk before his lips were on mine again.

The heat coiling where his fingers continuously brushed the sensitive place inside me climbed higher still. I writhed beneath him, my body searching for something I couldn't put into words. It was almost like I might…

 _Oh._

He shifted the position of his hand a little, and his thumb brushed the spot I knew from my own tentative explorations would send me over the edge. The heat climbed higher again, higher.

"Jake!" I cried suddenly, losing my grip on his length as ecstasy flooded my body. Every ounce of my attention was focused on where his fingers still stroked inside me. Nothing else in the world existed in this moment. I didn't care if I screamed loud enough for the world to hear. No release I'd ever given myself had ever felt so incredible, so satisfying.

I lay like a boned fish on the ground as ecstasy faded into perfect, blissful contentment. I hadn't expected that to happen, not on our first try. But my body had been crying out for it for so long, maybe I shouldn't have been surprised.

"Wow," I heard Jacob breathe next to me, his warm fingers leaving a damp trail along my inner thigh as he stroked me there, letting me slowly calm. "Did you…?"

I nodded my head, smiling up at him as I began to feel desire stirring inside me again. My fingers hooked under the final scrap of material that separated us, and he quickly covered them with his own, guiding the lace down my legs before tossing it aside.

Jacob captured both my hands in his, pinning them to the damp moss over my head as he nudged my thighs apart with his knees, positioning himself between them. Little aftershocks of pleasure rocked me as the smooth heat of him brushed against my center.

"Ready?" he asked, his voice a tremulous whisper.

Unable to find my own voice, I nodded in response, and Jacob released one of my hands, using his free one to hitch my leg over his hip.

I trembled as his hand disappeared into the small space between our bodies, positioning himself at my slick entrance.

"Let me know if I'm hurting you," he managed to gasp out, and I nodded, though I wasn't afraid of any pain that might come. I needed this, needed him.

I used my free hand to grasp the nape of his neck, pulling him down for a deep, thorough kiss.

"I love you." My voice was clear and strong as I breathed the words. I wrapped my legs more firmly around him, pulling him closer. I was beyond ready.

"I love you, Bella," he replied, kissing me lightly once more before pushing forward, sinking slowly into me.

We both gasped at the new sensation of being intimately joined like this, and, even though there was a little pain, it was nothing compared to the perfect wholeness I felt.

The back of my trapped hand pressed deep into the spongy moss as he continued filling me until our hips were flush against each other. My sigh and his groan mingled with the roaring of the waterfall. The air around us was growing colder by the second, but I didn't feel the cold. I was on fire.

I bucked my hips up against his, the friction of even a slight movement sending little tingles of pleasure zinging along every nerve in my body.

"God, Bella, you feel so good. So good," Jacob breathed against my hair as he finally released my hand, freeing it to find the slick skin of his shoulder, where I held on to him as if my life depended on it.

"You feel amazing," I gasped, meeting his every movement with one of my own as we found a rhythm that felt right.

My face was level with Jacob's chiseled chest, so I kissed him there, tasting the salty sweat on his skin and inhaling his woodsy scent. Nothing existed in my world right now besides Jacob. Besides this. It was all-consuming.

"Bells, I'm close," he whispered against my hair, his movements losing a little of their grace as his body trembled in my arms.

My only response was to hold him tighter with my arms and legs, arching against him as the sweetest, most blissful cry I'd ever heard tore from his lips. I felt the warmth of him flood into me. It was so shockingly intimate, I couldn't imagine ever sharing this with anyone but Jacob.

I stroked my hands up and down his back as he panted above me, obviously struggling to hold himself up. After several seconds, he carefully rolled us over. I nestled against his heaving chest and tangled my legs with his as he draped my coat over my bare back.

"That was…"I breathed against his now even more heated skin, at a loss for words.

"Amazing," he finished for me, raising his head just long enough to kiss the top of mine.

"Yeah," I agreed, smiling against him. "I can't imagine that life gets any better than that."

Jacob's hand found it's way under my chin, tilting my face up to his.

"But it will," he spoke confidently, stroking my sweaty cheek with the backs of his fingers. "This is only the beginning for us."

"The beginning," I echoed, loving the sound of that. Each day we were together would be better than the last. I knew it deep inside with absolute confidence. I had fallen in love with my best friend, and we had found our way, against all odds, to this incredible moment. Life was such a beautiful thing, it seemed ludicrous to me that I had ever wanted to give it up.

We lay entwined together for several blissful moments before little white flurries started to dance in the icy air around us.

"Is that snow?" I asked, astonished. It was only June.

"We'd better get you home," Jacob said with obvious regret.

I didn't want to move, but he was right. Even pressed against the heat of his body as I was, I was starting to feel the chill of the unseasonably cold night as the sweat started to cool on my skin.

Jacob stayed close as I quickly dressed, and, all too soon, we were flying through the dark forest towards my house.

I entered through the front door so Charlie would know I was home, suspecting Jacob would already be waiting for me in my room.

We curled up together under the warmth of my quilt and watched the snow fall faster and faster outside my window, stripping off layers of clothing until we were, once again, skin to skin.

With a blissful sigh, Jacob rolled onto his back, pulling me on top of him as he angled his head to reach my lips.

I sat up briefly to tuck my hair behind my ear, and I suddenly thought I caught a slight movement outside the window from the corner of my eye.

"What is it?" Jacob asked, pushing up on his elbows as he followed my gaze to the snowy landscape on the other side of the glass.

I peered out into the darkness, but all I could make out were more snow flurries blowing like little white tornadoes in the howling wind.

"It's nothing," I concluded, returning my attention, once again, to Jacob's lips.

 **A/N: Sorry, Eddie. You're too late. *author laughs maniacally***

 **Well, there you have it, folks. That's the "official" end of the story, though I do have at least one more mostly-finished epilogue up my sleeve, possibly more. When I do have more snippets from this universe to share, I'll post them here instead of as individual one-shots. That way, you'll be notified.**

 **What did you guys think about this ending? I would love your thoughts! MAJOR thanks to everyone who has been reading and reviewing this story. It's been such a fun journey thanks to you guys! 3**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: Hi, friends! Here's the second epilogue I promised! Takes place about thirteen years after the end of the previous chapter. Hope you enjoy!**

 **Epilogue 2: An Unexpected Visitor**

I pulled my shiny new SUV into Charlie and Sue's driveway earlier than expected. Neither was home yet, but I knew they wouldn't mind if I let us in. The key Charlie had kept under the eave since I was a baby was still in its place.

I opened the door for Sarah before walking around to the other side to let Liam out of his carseat, then I grabbed our groceries out of the back. Sarah bounded up the stairs and started jumping in place in front of the door, impatient, while Liam walked calmly, two of the children's books we'd checked out at the library yesterday clutched in his little hands.

I smiled as I watched my two dark-haired children, as different from each other as night and day, yet both equally dear to me.

I let us into Charlie's house, smiling as I took in the feminine touches Sue had added. There were actual throw pillows on the couch, and a crocheted tablecloth covered the small kitchen table.

I set the groceries down on the counter and started unpacking everything. The kids had already turned on the TV in the living room, though I was sure Sarah was the only one watching. Liam would be nose deep in one of his books by now, trying to sound out the simple words.

It was almost six, so I figured we had about twenty minutes to kill before Charlie arrived. Sue wouldn't be home from the hospital until around seven, so I would have plenty of time to cook while Charlie occupied the kids. I glanced into the living room, making sure they were both settled, before returning to the kitchen.

I turned the oven on to preheat, then grabbed the kettle and started boiling water for a cup of tea. Just as I'd finished pouring the steaming water into the mug, there was a knock on the door.

That was odd. Charlie wouldn't knock at his own home.

I arrived at the front door just as Sarah and Liam did, curiosity lighting up their little faces.

"Who is it, Mommy?" Sarah asked, bouncing again.

"I don't know, sweetie," I answered, drawing back the lace curtains to peer out.

My heart nearly stopped beating.

I almost couldn't comprehend the angelic face that greeted me on the other side of the door.

There, beautiful beyond comprehension, impervious to the passage of time, stood Alice Cullen.

Shock jolted through me like a lightening bolt. It had been over a decade since I'd laid eyes on a vampire, and the perfect marble features and amber eyes were just as much of a surprise as they had been all those years ago on my first day at Forks High School.

Alice's eyes met mine from the other side of the glass, a happy smile spreading across her flawless face, and my heart exploded with affection. It was almost as if no time at all had passed since I'd last seen the vampire I had hoped would one day be my sister.

"Alice!" I exclaimed as I flung the door open. I threw myself into her cold, marble arms, her stony embrace knocking the breath out of me a little. Alice stiffened for a moment, then her arms tightened around me gently, holding me close.

"Bella! Oh, Bella, how I've missed you." Her voice was as tinkling and beautiful as ever. The sound brought tears to my eyes.

"Oh, Alice! I can't believe it! I'm so happy to see you." My voice was thick with emotion as the tears spilled over.

Alice's flute-like laugh was a little tense as her icy hands wrapped around my upper arms, gently but firmly putting a safe distance between us. I noticed with a pang of guilt that her jaw was tightly clenched, and she was only breathing enough to speak.

"I almost forgot how exuberant you can be, Bella," she observed with a smile, dropping her hands from my arms to clasp both of mine.

"Sorry," I apologized lamely. It had been a long time since I'd had to worry about not making it any harder for my friends to resist eating me.

"No need to apologize." She shook her head as she brushed off my apology, and I noticed that she wasn't wearing her short hair spiky anymore, but combed neatly to the side in soft finger waves. "Now, can I please come inside? I'm just _dying_ to meet your children!"

I laughed as she bounced up and down in place, exactly the same Alice I remembered.

God, how I'd missed her! I felt guilty that I'd forgotten just how much so until she'd shown up at Charlie's door.

"Of course! Come on in."

I stepped aside, and Alice entered, her amber eyes lighting up as they fell on my two curious children. Her expression told me that there would be tears in them, if that were possible.

"Kids, this is Mommy's friend, Alice." I rested one hand on each of their dark heads proudly. "Alice, this is my daughter, Sarah Renee, and my son William Charles."

"Just Liam," my shy three-year-old offered softly, his eyes wide as saucers as he took in the impossibly beautiful woman in front of him.

Sarah looked equally awe-struck, but she eyed Alice a little warily as her sharp eyes, black like Jacob's, made a thorough study of the newcomer.

Alice crouched down then, though her diminutive size made it almost unnecessary, and greeted each of my children lovingly. I'd never imagined or dreamt of a moment like this, but my heart was so full I thought it might burst.

"Liam," she spoke softly, giving my son a brilliant smile he couldn't help but return, despite his usual reticence with strangers.

"And Sarah." Her eyes fell on my daughter, and I noticed a shift in her expression. Her smile was equally kind, but there was a vacancy behind her eyes as her perfectly arched brows pulled together in concentration.

It was a look I had seen before. Alice was trying to see the future.

"Kids, why don't you go watch some more TV so Mommy and Miss Alice can talk," I instructed in my "Mommy" voice that would brook no argument.

Once the children were occupied in the living room, I led Alice to the kitchen. We both sat down at the small table, and I was almost bowled over once again by sheer amazement that she was actually here.

"Liam reminds me so much of you," Alice observed, "just a bit less transparent."

I rolled my eyes at her little dig at my paleness.

"You should see him with Charlie. He's almost a miniature version of my dad."

Alice laughed that tinkling laugh again.

"I miss Charlie," she said. "Sarah must take after your Jacob."

My eyes lit up, as they always did, at the mention of his name. It briefly occurred to me to wonder how she knew what my husband's name was, but I brushed the thought away. How did Alice know _anything_? She must have seen it.

"She does," I agreed proudly. "Here…"

I got up to retrieve my smart phone from where I'd left it on the counter. Opening the photos app, I quickly located our most recent family snapshot. Jake and I had taken the kids fishing with Charlie one Saturday. In the picture, Charlie was holding Liam, a book on fish clutched in his tiny hands. Jacob stood in the middle, his large frame taking up the bulk of the photo. He had one arm draped around my shoulders and the other massive hand rested on Sarah's dark head as she proudly held up the day's catch dangling from a string.

Alice had probably seen this, but I wasn't sure how often she was watching. Surely not that much with her own family and so many other more important things to occupy her. Besides, I was a proud mamma who couldn't resist bragging about her family to anyone who would listen.

Alice took the phone from my hands and studied the picture intently for a moment, her delicate eyebrows shooting up nearly to her hair line.

"Wow, he's handsome," she commented. "And _big_. Maybe even bigger than Emmet."

I was confused by Alice's reaction. It was like she had never seen Jacob before. But she had known his name. She must have seen something.

Noticing my confusion, Alice handed the phone back to me, her expression turning serious.

"Bella, I actually came here today to talk to you about something. It's about your husband and…and your daughter."

My heart immediately sped up as a jolt of fear turned my veins to ice. What had Alice seen?

"Alice…"

"Don't be alarmed, Bella," she reassured me quickly. "They're not in any danger, that I know of."

I relaxed, just barely, and Alice continued.

"You see, Bella, when we all left, Edward asked me not to try to see you anymore. He said he wanted you to have a completely clean break from us, but, by that time, I was already so attuned to you that sometimes things came through without me trying. I didn't see much, and often the visions were fuzzy and unclear. I just assumed that was because I wasn't actively trying to see you anymore."

My curiosity and worry were reaching almost unbearable levels as I listened, and I picked up my tea and took a sip just to have something to do with my trembling hands. I was briefly aware that this was the first time I had heard _his_ name spoken aloud in years. It was almost strange to feel a small pang of nostalgia at the mention of my first high-school love, even after all that had happened since.

"Now, this next part is a little…odd, so please try not to freak out, okay?"

My brow creased in concern, but I nodded, leaning forward in my seat as I waited for her to continue.

"About a year after we left Forks, Edward just couldn't stand being away from you any more, so he came back."

I heard a startled gasp that I realized a few seconds later had come from me.

"When he made the decision, I saw him looking in your window, but I couldn't see what it was he saw. Only that whatever it was made him decide to leave again."

Alice paused for a moment, letting me absorb this unexpected revelation before continuing.

"Edward was distraught," she explained. "It took us a while to get in touch with him to find out what happened. Apparently, he had seen you and Jacob together and realized that you had moved on, that you were happy. Even though that was what he intended when he left you, he was still devastated."

My mug clattered against the linoleum table top.

"Edward… came back?" My voice was barely a whisper as I tried to force the words through my throat, which was swollen with shock. "But, why? He…he didn't want me. He said I wasn't good for him, that he needed to move on."

Alice rolled her eyes.

"Bella, I can't believe you bought that nonsense. Edward wanted to leave because he thought it was best for you not to have us in your life, not because he didn't love you. He left _because_ he loved you. I did't agree at the time, but, seeing you now, with your children, your family… Maybe his methods were flawed, but I know now that it was the right thing to do."

I stared down at the tabletop in complete shock. Edward had come back? Edward _had_ loved me? It was almost too much to take in.

But I realized that Alice was exactly right. As much as it had hurt at the time, I was glad Edward had let me go, and I was glad he had lied to me about his feelings. If I had thought, back then, that there was even the slightest chance he still wanted me, I might never have been able to move on. I would have searched to the ends of the earth until I found him, no matter what it cost me.

Believing he didn't love me was what had ultimately allowed me to find happiness with Jacob and to have the two amazing children that were my whole world and reason for existing. I wouldn't trade what I had now for anything, and I couldn't help feeling grateful to my first love who had broken his own heart to give me the full, human life I didn't even know I wanted at the time.

My thoughts soon turned back to Alice's original purpose for telling me all this: Jacob and our daughter.

"I'm sorry Edward was hurt, but, Alice, what does that have to do with Jacob and Sarah?"

"Sorry it's such a long story," she apologized, "but it does span an entire decade-and-a-half. Anyway, Edward did untimely decide to leave again, but he almost changed his mind back when…when he realized Jacob was a werewolf."

My eyes grew wide as it occurred to me how close things might have come to turning disastrous.

"You see, Edward was one of the original coven that made the treaty with Ephrium Black, so he recognized the scent," she explained. "He feared for your safety with you spending so much time around someone so dangerous and volatile, so he stuck around for a couple of months, watching from afar, always ready to step in if he thought you were in danger."

If my eyes had been wide before, they were now bulging. Edward had watched me…watched us… for months? It was too bizarre to even think about.

"Don't worry, he was never very close. He knew to keep enough of a distance that the wolves wouldn't notice his presence. Soon, he realized that you weren't in any danger and that Jacob truly loved you. He saw in Jacob's thoughts that he had been willing to die for you and had done the impossible to save you from Victoria. He realized that you were loved and well protected. So, he left.

"After that, Edward rejoined the family, but he still came back to check on you every few years. We soon figured out that my visions of you were often unclear because of what Jacob is. I can't see him at all. It's incredibly frustrating."

Now that was interesting. It explained why Alice didn't know what Jacob looked like.

"After one of his visits, Edward told me that you and Jacob had gotten married and that you had a daughter. He'd seen her through Jacob's thoughts and said that she was beautiful. I didn't think anything about the fact that I couldn't see her until…"

She trailed off, her perfect face becoming apprehensive.

"Until what, Alice?" I prompted, my palms starting to sweat.

"Until I saw your son."

For a moment, I was confused, then the pieces started to fall into place. Alice couldn't see Jacob because he was a werewolf. Alice couldn't see Sarah, but she _could_ see Liam. That meant…

 _Oh, God._

Some part of my shock-addled brain was vaguely aware that Alice had started speaking again.

"I saw your son being placed in your arms after he was born."

"Jacob was late," I responded automatically. "He was in Seattle for work, and Liam was three weeks early. That must be how you saw his birth."

"Every so often, I see Liam at school or with you or Charlie, but I've _never_ seen Sarah, Bella. Even when I first got here, I tried to see her, but…there was nothing. Exactly like when I try to see your Jacob."

I nodded woodenly, fully comprehending what Alice was telling me. Sarah, my beautiful headstrong, independent daughter, would follow in her father's footsteps as pack alpha. Her childhood would be cut short, in her late teens if we were lucky, and she would be forced to shoulder the responsibility of protector of the tribe.

Leah Clearwater had phased, so I knew it was possible. I had just always assumed that, if either of my children transformed, it would only be William, with no vampires living nearby to necessitate a larger pack.

Bittersweet tears clouded my vision as I realized this was exactly as it should be. Neither Jacob nor I wished his fate on either of our children, but our confident, self-assured daughter was a natural leader. William was more like me: bookish, a little awkward, and so gentle he wouldn't even squash a bug. Sarah had always taken more after her father. It made sense, really.

It wasn't the life I wanted for her, though. Would she be able to go to college? Move away from the reservation? Have children of her own? But, even with all these questions and fears running through my mind, I knew Sarah, young as she was, would be strong enough to make the most of her fate, as her father had done.

Thinking about Jacob made me wonder how he would take the news. I knew he would feel guilty about passing the werewolf gene down to his child. It was a concern he'd voiced back when we first discussed starting a family. Ultimately, it hadn't been enough to stop us, but we'd hoped that, since our children would be only half Quilliute, they might stand a chance at escaping his fate.

At least we now knew that one of our children would lead a normal, human life. That was something to be thankful for.

An icy touch pulled me gently from my tumultuous thoughts.

"Bella, I'm sorry. I know this isn't exactly good news, but I thought you'd want to know."

I flipped my hand over and intertwined my fingers with her cold ones, giving her hand a gentle squeeze.

"Don't apologize, Alice," I insisted. "I'm so grateful to you for telling me. Really, I am. This way, we can make sure she's prepared. It won't be a total shock for her like it was for Jacob. It'll be easier."

Alice nodded in agreement, giving me a small smile.

"I have to go soon," she said, her voice betraying a hint of sadness. "Charlie will be home in less than five minutes, and, as much as I'd like to see him, I don't think I could pass for thirty-five."

"Oh, uh…About that…" I stammered, wondering how she'd take the news that Charlie now knew about the supernatural world.

Alice's eyes grew vacant for a few seconds before she shot me a look of mock reproach.

"Looks like I'll be seeing Charlie, after all. And meeting his wife."

Later that evening, Alice posed us all around the dining room table for a picture, which Sue volunteered to take so Alice could be in it with Liam — her new biggest fan — in her lap.

She squealed in delight when Sue handed her back the phone. "Oh, Bella, they're going to love it!"

"Who is?" I asked, laughing at her infectious enthusiasm.

"Who do you think?" she retorted, rolling her eyes playfully as she pulled a gold stylus from her handbag. I wondered if it was made of actual gold.

Seeing my curious expression, she explained, "Touch screens don't work so well when you're not technically alive."

Alice leaned closer so I could see the screen as she opened a new text message and and sent the photo to a group contact named simply "Cullens."

Mere seconds later, the phone started vibrating constantly as the responses poured in.

Esme was the first to respond. She'd typed, " _Oh, the children are just beautiful! Tell Bella congratulations and that I couldn't be happier for her,"_ followed by several heart-eye emojis.

Emmit's name popped up next. _"Right on, Bella! Good to see that smiling face again."_

 _"Please tell Bella her family is just lovely,"_ Carlisle wrote. _"I'm so happy to see that she's well."_

Next came Jasper's reply, which started with a kiss emoji. _"Lookin' good, sugar. Miss you. Tell Bella hello for me."_

It was Rosalie's unexpectedly warm reply surprised me the most. _"Oh, what little darlings! Tell Bella we would love to have her family over for a visit some time. Or we could go there?"_

 _"Yessss!"_ Esme immediately added. " _Tell Bella we would all love to see her again and meet her husband and children, if she's comfortable with that, of course."_

"Tell them yes, absolutely!" I nearly screamed at Alice in my excitement. "I would love to see them again! I'll talk to Jacob about it."

Alice squealed back and quickly typed my message with the stylus, earning more enthusiastic replies from the group.

A few minutes later, the phone vibrated again, and Alice handed it to me so I could read the final message, a sad smile tugging at her lips.

 _"She's just as beautiful as ever, Alice. Please let her know how pleased I am that she's found her happiness. Much love, Edward."_

 **Two weeks later…**

My eyes lit up as soon as they fell on Jacob's refurbished 1969 Mustang convertible parked in the driveway as I arrived home from school with the kids in tow. He'd been commuting to Seattle a lot for work lately, and I wasn't expecting him home until tomorrow.

"Look, you guys! Daddy's home!" I announced, and the formerly quiet vehicle erupted in excited claps and squeals.

Before I could get my seatbelt unbuckled, my gorgeous husband came bounding down the porch steps, the biggest smile lighting up his face.

I couldn't help but take a second to just admire him. He hadn't phased since my twenty-fifth birthday (the approximate age his body had reached when he first turned), and like a fine wine, he'd only grown more delicious with age. His hair was long and lustrous again, flowing in a silk curtain half-way down his back. He'd taken off his his suit jacket and shirt, leaving the colorful tattoo sleeve on his right arm exposed. Even though he now had to actually work out to maintain his physique, the man could fill out a tee-shirt just as mouthwateringly as ever. Jacob was absolute perfection, and he was all mine.

I stumbled a little stepping down from the monstrous SUV he'd bought me when Liam was born, but his strong arms caught me instantly, pulling me tight against his chest for one of those suffocating hugs I knew I would never tire of.

Protests of "Daddy, Daddy!" were heard from inside the vehicle, and Jake chuckled, letting me slide down the length of his body until my feet were back on the ground. He opened the back door, but kept me tucked under his arm.

"You know Mommy always get the first kiss," he playfully admonished our impatient children before leaning down to place a chaste, but loving, kiss on my upturned lips. "Alright, you little monsters, let's go inside."

I watched with a proud smile as Jake disappeared into the house with one child tucked under each arm before gathering up my books and lesson planner. Our house now had a large addition in the back with a master suite and upstairs bedrooms for the kids, but it was still the same little red house that I'd grown to love. My life was so incredible, it still struck me sometimes just how close I'd come to giving it all up in a moment of teenage impulsiveness.

The first thing I noticed when I entered our newly remodeled kitchen was a giant gift basket sitting on the butcher-block island.

"What's this?" I asked Jacob, who was currently chowing down on a bag of fancy cheese straws while the kids showed Billy the artwork they'd done at school today.

"It's from your friend Alice," he explained between mouthfuls, tossing me the card. "Bloodsucker or not, I'm kinda starting to like her."

I flipped open the card and quickly scanned the flowing handwriting inside.

 _"Congratulations, Bella, Jacob, Sarah, and Liam! Love, Aunt Alice."_

"Congratulations?" I wondered aloud. "What do you think this is for?"

Jacob just shrugged his shoulders and reached back into the basket for the summer sausage. "I guess we'll find out."

"I guess," I mused absently, secretly disappointed to see that the expensive-looking bottle contained sparkling grape juice instead of champagne.

Later that night, I had forgotten all about the basket, my attention completely absorbed by the magical things Jacob's mouth was currently doing beneath the duvet. He did this amazing swirling thing with his tongue that always made me see stars.

"Oh, _God_ , Jake! That's so good…" I gasped out, my head rolling from side to side in sheer bliss.

To my utter dismay, his tongue stopped working its magic, and I heard his muffled laugh before his amused face appeared from beneath the blankets.

"Ssshhh, babe. You're going to wake up the kids," he scolded me playfully. The smug grin on his face was simultaneously adorable and maddening.

"Don't stop. I'm close," I breathed, careful to keep my voice a low whisper as I tangled my hands in all that gorgeous dark hair, not so subtly guiding him back where I wanted him.

Jacob chuckled at my impatience, but quickly resumed his ministrations with renewed vigor. In seconds, I was clamping my own hand over my mouth to avoid waking the entire reservation.

The light stubble growth on Jacob's jaw rasped against my belly as he rested his head there, waiting for me to come down from my peak. A few seconds later, his warm breath ghosted over my cooling skin as he chuckled.

"Babe, I think I may know what the psychic lee…what Alice was congratulating us for."

Thinking he was teasing me, I decided to play along.

"Oh, yeah. Your oral skills are definitely worth celebrating," I quipped, earning another throaty chuckle.

"I'm glad you think so, honey, but that's not what I'm talking about." Pointedly holding eye contact with me, Jacob placed a gentle kiss on the skin of my lower belly, his grin stretching from ear to ear.

Understanding dawned, and I felt my eyes grow wide as saucers. "No way! Really? We decided to stop at two."

Jacob nodded enthusiastically, then pressed his ear to my belly again.

"I definitely hear another heartbeat, so either there's a tiny alien about to burst out of there, or our litter is going to get bigger."

"I can't believe this." I shook my head as I tried to process what my husband's uncannily acute senses were telling me. "I thought we were being careful."

"Uh…we did have one slip though, Bells."

"When?" I challenged, not at all convinced.

"Remember the bathroom at Seth and Molly's wedding?" He punctuated his question with a suggestive wag of his eyebrows.

Of course, I remembered! Drunken bathroom sex at a friend's wedding reception wasn't exactly something you forgot.

"Oh! Yes, that has to be it! I'm never drinking champagne again."

Jacob laughed, crawling up the bed to recline next to me on the pillows.

"Well, what about sparkling grape juice?" he asked, nuzzling his nose against my cheek. "Shall we toast to the newest member of the Black Pack?"

I couldn't help but laugh at his enthusiasm. Another baby hadn't been in my immediate plans, but I was beginning to warm up to the idea.

"Sure, sure," I answered, and Jacob jogged excitedly out of the room.

When he returned with the opened bottle and two champagne flutes, I was cradling my still-flat belly with both hands, my smile almost as absurdly big as Jacob's was.

He handed me a filled glass before sliding into bed beside me, holding his up dramatically.

"To the next little Jake or Bells junior," he announced, clicking his glass against mine.

I took a small sip of the sweet, fizzy juice before holding my glass aloft again.

"To our expanding family…and my expanding waistline."

Jacob laughed, holding his glass a little higher.

"To my pups having the hottest mom on the planet."

I rolled my eyes at him, but drank to that one.

"To the most amazing husband and partner a woman could ever ask for."

That one earned me a long, adoring kiss before Jacob raised his glass again.

"To many, many more drunken indiscretions in wedding venue restrooms."

I smacked his chest playfully, but took another sip from my glass.

"To Charlie and Billy becoming grandfathers again," I toasted next.

Jacob refilled our glasses before raising his.

"To fishing trips…"

"…and family dinners," I added.

After we drank, Jacob's face softened into a wistful smile.

"To growing old with my best friend, and the love of my life."

I had no other choice but to kiss him. One kiss turned into many, and soon the glasses were set aside to free our hands for holding each other close.

"Mommy? Daddy? Can't sleep."

We reluctantly pulled apart as Liam's sweet, sleepy face appeared around the half-open door.

"Come here, sweetie," I motioned to him, and he eagerly scooted up onto the bed, nestling himself between us.

"Daddy?"

Sarah appeared next, the stuffed wolf she'd gotten on her first Christmas clutched in her arms.

"Get in here, love bug," Jacob called to her, opening his arms wide to encompass all three of us in one giant group hug.

I nestled contentedly into the covers, feeling warm and blissfully happy with all the people who mattered most to me snuggled close. Jacob caught my eye over Sarah and Liam's dark heads and smiled. I was certain that smile would still give me butterflies when we were seventy.

This was our life, in all of its perfect imperfection, and I wouldn't have traded it for anything.

 **A/N2: OMG, this chapter gave me all the feels! I need a tissue.**

 **I'm thinking about writing a couple more little snippets from this universe, like the visit with the Cullens and maybe even Jacob helping Sarah through her transformation. If you'd like to see either of those, please let me know, as well as anything else you'd like to see!**

 **P.S. I just started a new story, if you're interested! You Haunt Me Still is a dark Breaking Dawn AU where vampire Bella continues to struggle with intensified feelings for Jacob after the wedding/transformation. So pretty much the antithesis of this story. lol But there will be plenty of hot werewolf/vampire sex. Sorry, not sorry, Eddie. ;)**


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